I'm freaking out again (worry)
#21
:pray2:

Hope things are better now.
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#22
It seems to me this is a ducks and tony soprano thing. The real issue is your conditioning from your parents. And the resentment of them and then the guilt of resenting them...round and round. You feel lost because you love your kids but have to wing it because of your lack of a father. So everyday you feel like your faking it and hoping no one notices you dont know what the hell you are doing most of the time. But you also know in your soul that God is with you because your doing the right thing and trying to be the father you never had to your kids. The problem arises when we drop the ball a whole crapload of other balls start falling, and we end up with an anxiety attack. Being a Father to day is a heavy heavy cross, not only do alot of us come from screwed up homes, whwn we try to do the thing the way it should be done, there is precious little support in the greater society. Isolated we can become obsessed with details and loose track of the big picture. Envision a cross....the horizontal beam is the things we must do, the actions and decisions we must make, the viscitudes of life...the vertical beam is our hopes and feelings and faith and love. We must find our center in this cross. Juvinalis all I described above is me. The issue with the toy is resolved simply by loving your kid and telling the truth. It wasnt your fault...these things just happen. This is our cross. From this screwed up Father to you....I have complete confidence to tell you you are fine, you are on the right course, arise from falling and pick up your cross in the confidence of Jesus Christ who had fallen several times with his cross to show us...He knows...He knows you...He knows your children. No harm will befall them with a Dad as loving as you with them....no material object can seperate the love of a faithfull father for his children.....nothin!
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OH HEAVENLY FATHER I COMMEND MY CHILDREN UNTO THEE. BE THOU THEIR GOD AND FATHER, AND MERCIFULLY SUPPLY WHATEVER IS WANTING IN ME THEIR FATHER THROUGH FRAILTY OR NEGLIGENCE. STRENGTHEN THEM TO OVERCOME THE CORRUPTIONS OF THE WORLD, TO RESIST ALL SOLICITATIONS TO EVIL, WHETHER FROM WITHIN OR WITHOUT, AND DELIVER THEM FROM THE SECRET SNARES OF THE ENEMY.
POUR THY GRACE INTO THEIR HEARTS, AND CONFIRM ND MULTIPLY IN THEM THE GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, THAT THEY MAY GROW DAILY IN THE GRACE AND KNOWLEDGE OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST; AND SO...FAITHFULLY SERVING THEE HERE, MAY COME TO REJOICE IN THY PRESENCE FOREVER AND EVER .
AMEN
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#23
Meditate on the peace of Christ.
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#24
Thank you to everyone for your prayers, time and thoughts. I've been getting some distance from the whole thing and thinking. I've been clingy to my daughter not sure who is taking it worse: her or me.

I realize I can't change how I feel about this (overprotective) in a short while. I also feel less alone about it, because some of you have been kind enough to let me know I have fellow travelers.

I can't imagine my dad will ever get it, but I'm over it. My little family comes first and I'll err on the side of crazy and I'm okay with that.

Longterm, I have some work to do. Shortest term, I've ordered her new buddy and he should be here any day.

She's 2, so my hangup is less her knowing and more me feeling like I'm misleading her. Dunno..

I'm mentally/emotionally exhausted this week as my dad will/is make(ing) it about him, but I'm prioritizing  :)

I have some sleep to catch up on.


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#25
(01-12-2011, 03:54 AM)Iuvenalis Wrote: Thank you to everyone for your prayers, time and thoughts. I've been getting some distance from the whole thing and thinking. I've been clingy to my daughter not sure who is taking it worse: her or me.

I realize I can't change how I feel about this (overprotective) in a short while. I also feel less alone about it, because some of you have been kind enough to let me know I have fellow travelers.

I can't imagine my dad will ever get it, but I'm over it. My little family comes first and I'll err on the side of crazy and I'm okay with that.

Longterm, I have some work to do. Shortest term, I've ordered her new buddy and he should be here any day.

She's 2, so my hangup is less her knowing and more me feeling like I'm misleading her. Dunno..

I'm mentally/emotionally exhausted this week as my dad will/is make(ing) it about him, but I'm prioritizing  :)

I have some sleep to catch up on.
get some rest now.....wait till their teenagers ...OY Vey!!!!!
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