The Curse Of OCPD
#11
HG! Thank you for the read.

It is good to see you around.  I'll pray for you; no cross is too heavy when Christ can help you carry it.
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#12
Quote:Let me ask, if you don't mind:  do you realize when you're doing OCD "things" and realize they are not normal or reasonable, and yet must do them, or do they happen subconsciously.  For me, realizing I had OCD and also that the things I were not normal was a major step in my recovery.  Since you were diagnosed, hope to control this is already in clear sight.

I have OCPD, not OCD. I've learned, as I've investigated what I was diagnosed with, that people usually confuse the two. OCPD affects the personality. So unless one realizes that something is really wrong with them, the OCPDer thinks they are okay and everyone else is off-the-rails. They are, so to speak, trapped inside a cage of their own "illogical logic". And neighbor, it ain't no fun.
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#13
(11-02-2011, 09:30 AM)WhollyRoaminCatholic Wrote: HG! Thank you for the read.

It is good to see you around.  I'll pray for you; no cross is too heavy when Christ can help you carry it.

A multitude of thanks in advance.  :)
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#14
Oh, I thought this thread was gonna be a spooky tale about the Orange County Police Dept or something...
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#15
(11-03-2011, 11:47 PM)HailGilbert Wrote:
Quote:Let me ask, if you don't mind:  do you realize when you're doing OCD "things" and realize they are not normal or reasonable, and yet must do them, or do they happen subconsciously.  For me, realizing I had OCD and also that the things I were not normal was a major step in my recovery.  Since you were diagnosed, hope to control this is already in clear sight.

I have OCPD, not OCD. I've learned, as I've investigated what I was diagnosed with, that people usually confuse the two. OCPD affects the personality. So unless one realizes that something is really wrong with them, the OCPDer thinks they are okay and everyone else is off-the-rails. They are, so to speak, trapped inside a cage of their own "illogical logic". And neighbor, it ain't no fun.

The Personality disorder, as HG has said is way different from OCD. Hail Gilbert: your awareness and honesty of it is simply astounding. I don't know if this will at all help, but perhaps the blind obedience and faith that someone on the autism spectrum must put in those assisting in teaching them social cues that they are NOT wired to pick up on can maybe give you a point of reference -- on where to go from here, and that you're not alone. Also, the scrupulous must suspend their own judgement of themselves and cannot rely on much that they tell themselves. I  think that trustworthy, healthy people, including priests and professionals will themselves help you navigate.  :pray2: that they find you, you  find them, and receive the graces necessary in your recovery. +++
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#16
(10-31-2011, 05:52 PM)HailGilbert Wrote: The only thing that can get rid of this crap in my DNA is Divine Intervention. Literally,

:pray:

Fiat voluntas Dei.
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#17
(11-01-2011, 02:36 AM)HailGilbert Wrote: I already have that book and read it years ago. To me, it makes God out to be cold, cruel and controlling, like my Dad was when I was growing up. And he himself, along with his mom and probably her dad before her, also have the signs of OCPD.

I don't want this Disorder in me for the rest of my life. I'd rather die as soon as possible than have this in me for the rest of my life. I want to be a normal human being with normal DNA and a normal mind, not the freak that I am right now.

Thank you all for your time. :( :( :(

Please read this, by St. Louis de Montfort, many times:

http://www.montfort.org.uk/Writings/Cross.html

And this, again for free:

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/alphonsus/uniformity.html





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#18
(11-03-2011, 11:47 PM)HailGilbert Wrote:
Quote:Let me ask, if you don't mind:  do you realize when you're doing OCD "things" and realize they are not normal or reasonable, and yet must do them, or do they happen subconsciously.  For me, realizing I had OCD and also that the things I were not normal was a major step in my recovery.  Since you were diagnosed, hope to control this is already in clear sight.

I have OCPD, not OCD. I've learned, as I've investigated what I was diagnosed with, that people usually confuse the two. OCPD affects the personality. So unless one realizes that something is really wrong with them, the OCPDer thinks they are okay and everyone else is off-the-rails. They are, so to speak, trapped inside a cage of their own "illogical logic". And neighbor, it ain't no fun.

OK now I see.  I was never diagnosed by a doctor.  OCPD sounds more like what I had.  Because I too though nobody but me made sense, and nobody could persuade me otherwise. The only time it comes back is when I get stressed out.  Towards the end of my last school year I was starting to turn around and gop back to make sure houses weren't on fire, or checking to make sure parked cars didn't have dead people in them.  No, not very fun at all.
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#19
(11-06-2011, 01:27 AM)Jackson K. Eskew Wrote:
(11-01-2011, 02:36 AM)HailGilbert Wrote: I already have that book and read it years ago. To me, it makes God out to be cold, cruel and controlling, like my Dad was when I was growing up. And he himself, along with his mom and probably her dad before her, also have the signs of OCPD.

I don't want this Disorder in me for the rest of my life. I'd rather die as soon as possible than have this in me for the rest of my life. I want to be a normal human being with normal DNA and a normal mind, not the freak that I am right now.

Thank you all for your time. :( :( :(

Please read this, by St. Louis de Montfort, many times:

http://www.montfort.org.uk/Writings/Cross.html

And this, again for free:

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/alphonsus/uniformity.html

the 2nd one is aweosme. i remebre reading it years agho
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#20
(11-06-2011, 01:27 AM)Jackson K. Eskew Wrote:
(11-01-2011, 02:36 AM)HailGilbert Wrote: I already have that book and read it years ago. To me, it makes God out to be cold, cruel and controlling, like my Dad was when I was growing up. And he himself, along with his mom and probably her dad before her, also have the signs of OCPD.

I don't want this Disorder in me for the rest of my life. I'd rather die as soon as possible than have this in me for the rest of my life. I want to be a normal human being with normal DNA and a normal mind, not the freak that I am right now.

Thank you all for your time. :( :( :(

Please read this, by St. Louis de Montfort, many times:

http://www.montfort.org.uk/Writings/Cross.html

And this, again for free:

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/alphonsus/uniformity.html

I already have and read the second of the two. Truth be told, it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to. For any moment, like the Prophet Job of old, I could be struck down with anything and NOT be told why.

To me, that isn't true love but abuse, like that which I've grown up with. That makes me untrusting of Our Lord Jesus, rather than the opposite.
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