Spousal Contraception Qs
#1
Hypotheticals -

Husband and Wife scenarios

1.  Husband (cafeteria Catholic), Wife (Trad-leaning).  Husband wants no more children due to petty reasoning (getting too old, wants to travel, whatever).  He pushes for wife to contracept since he won't be at "fault" for doing so himself.  How should the wife respond? 

2. Wife (cafeteria Catholic), Husband (Trad leaning).  Wife wants no more children due to petty reasoning (doesn't want to get fat[ter], wants to travel, whatever).  She pushes for husband to contracept since she won't be at "fault" for doing so herself.  How should the husband respond? 

Let's throw a wrench in there and say NFP is in use, but used with the wrong intent and misused or abused.
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#2
Neither should use contraception at all, period.

They must get that point across to their spouse, there is not much room for compromising here.
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#3
I am not a good moralist, but if one person is contracepting, then they are both contracepting.

Two become one and whatnot.
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#4
(11-15-2011, 03:15 PM)WhollyRoaminCatholic Wrote: I am not a good moralist, but if one person is contracepting, then they are both contracepting.

Two become one and whatnot.

Exactly.

If one is aware of the other using contraception, then they are both guilty.
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#5
k3vinhood - That I understand, yes.  

How is a way to explain such things when the other has virtually no concept of sin at all, nevermind mortal and venial?  How is this explained to a person who believes that because they are Catholic, really in name only, they embody all that Catholicism entails and therefore that's it?  How can the marriage stay together when the thoughts and faiths of two people are diametrically opposed?  How can the spouses properly love each other? How can the spouse who is attempting to love and please Jesus so utterly fail at conveying a basic idea to their loved one?  Does the marriage end if this is not resolved and if so, what happens if they have children previously?


WRC -  Yes, foisting sin upon others is also sin for those requesting the other to do it.  I'm pointing out faulty thinking on the part of the Catholic without a fully formed conscience.
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#6
No, it's not exactly foisting sin upon others. At least not in the "sin or I'll be mad" kind of way.

If one person is contracepting, they're both contracepting.

That's your explanation.

Ahem. It takes two to tango.
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#7
(11-15-2011, 02:54 PM)Gris Wrote: 1.  Husband (cafeteria Catholic), Wife (Trad-leaning).  Husband wants no more children due to petty reasoning (getting too old, wants to travel, whatever).  He pushes for wife to contracept since he won't be at "fault" for doing so himself.  How should the wife respond? 

2. Wife (cafeteria Catholic), Husband (Trad leaning).  Wife wants no more children due to petty reasoning (doesn't want to get fat[ter], wants to travel, whatever).  She pushes for husband to contracept since she won't be at "fault" for doing so herself.  How should the husband respond? 

Let's throw a wrench in there and say NFP is in use, but used with the wrong intent and misused or abused.

1) Resist her husband and not implement the contraception.
2) Resist his wife and not implement the contraception.

The request to contracept is sinful. The acquiescing to that request is sinful, but less sinful if done under duress. Misuse of NFP is sinful.

(11-15-2011, 03:24 PM)Gris Wrote: How is a way to explain such things when the other has virtually no concept of sin at all, nevermind mortal and venial?  How is this explained to a person who believes that because they are Catholic, really in name only, they embody all that Catholicism entails and therefore that's it?  How can the marriage stay together when the thoughts and faiths of two people are diametrically opposed?  How can the spouses properly love each other? How can the spouse who is attempting to love and please Jesus so utterly fail at conveying a basic idea to their loved one?  Does the marriage end if this is not resolved and if so, what happens if they have children previously?

This is a cross to bear, and it is a very hard situation. The faithful Catholic needs to bear that cross and work to help the spouse come to love God. There is no cookie-cutter answer, except to love God, and try very hard through prayer and sacrifice to help the spouse. That person has a heavy cross because they need to keep true to their principles against a strong temptation.
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#8
WRC - Perhaps you need to read my last respose with an eye toward the questions.  My original intent was not to justify contraception on any level, by any person.  My questions have more to do with explaining the faith and the practice of it in a way that's understood by the spouse who is not wanting to hear it.  And by the NFP "wrench", I mean that the obedient spouse was willing to do that as a way to still be open to life, but sees the other spouse use NFP as a way to "naturally" contracept and perhaps even frustrate the natural ends of marriage because the knowledge is there.  So then the spouse who is trying to be good eventually learns the intent of the other spouse and therefore becomes an accessory to it.  How does the "good" spouse behave?  What do they say to the other spouse?  
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#9
Perhaps you need to reread my response.

Your answer goes like this:
"Wife/Husband, there is no difference who is the one contracepting. You are both contracepting. There is no mitigation of guilt by either party because you are both contracepting".

Case closed.
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#10
Ok WRC.  I read it differently when you said it first.  Thank you for clarifying that.
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