Spousal Contraception Qs
#21
:pray:
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#22
:pray2:
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#23
(11-15-2011, 08:26 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote:
(11-15-2011, 08:22 PM)Adam_Michael Wrote: Perhaps a real life situation:

Im a trad leaning Catholic.  My wife is a cafeteria Catholic.  She doesn't want more kids at the moment because she is busy with school and work.  She uses contraceptive (an insert) despite my protest.

Can I have sex with her or am I morally bound to abstain?

Absolutely you should abstain.

I have heard the opposite,.. and by clergy.. I'll see if I can look it up but I'm at work right now.
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#24
I've actually heard the opposite too.

It's the sin of the person contracepting.

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#25
(11-16-2011, 01:51 PM)StrictCatholicGirl Wrote:
(11-15-2011, 08:26 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote:
(11-15-2011, 08:22 PM)Adam_Michael Wrote: Perhaps a real life situation:

Im a trad leaning Catholic.  My wife is a cafeteria Catholic.  She doesn't want more kids at the moment because she is busy with school and work.  She uses contraceptive (an insert) despite my protest.

Can I have sex with her or am I morally bound to abstain?

Absolutely you should abstain.

I have heard the opposite,.. and by clergy.. I'll see if I can look it up but I'm at work right now.

Yes, speaking in terms of moral theology, I have heard and read the opposite too.

Telling a spouse "you contracept so that I don't sin" is ridiculous, but not because they are both necessarily comitting the sin of contraception.  But telling someone to sin is itself a sin.

One obvious way it's possible for a couple to be contracepting but not both comitting the sin of contraception is when they both don't know (husband got a vasectomy and didn't tell wife, or wife is on the pill and didn't tell husband). 

Even if the other spouse knows, I think it's possible to still have marital relations, as long as you are not approving the contraception ... but yes, before anyone applies this in their own life, talk to a priest.  I just don't think a cut-and-dry "you must abstain" is always the right answer.  Sex is a duty in marriage.
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#26
(11-16-2011, 01:55 PM)Servire Deo Wrote: I've actually heard the opposite too.

It's the sin of the person contracepting.

We agree on something!
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#27
(11-16-2011, 01:57 PM)newyorkcatholic Wrote:
(11-16-2011, 01:55 PM)Servire Deo Wrote: I've actually heard the opposite too.

It's the sin of the person contracepting.

We agree on something!

Haha!

I like your analysis. "Approval" was the word I was looking for.

Aside from contraception damaging the marriage bond, I'd venture to say that abstaining because of contraception would damage it further. It will probably lead the abstainer to sin.
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#28
I got bumped off the Internet when I was typing my last message.. wow. To be clearer, I was told by clergy that for a spouse to continue relations with a contracepting spouse was NOT a mortal sin on the part of the non-contracepting spouse. I see NewYorkCatholic and and Servire got what I was saying. In other words, ...... this

NewYorkCatholic Wrote:Even if the other spouse knows, I think it's possible to still have marital relations, as long as you are not approving the contraception ... but yes, before anyone applies this in their own life, talk to a priest.  I just don't think a cut-and-dry "you must abstain" is always the right answer.  Sex is a duty in marriage.
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#29


NewYorkCatholic Wrote:Even if the other spouse knows, I think it's possible to still have marital relations, as long as you are not approving the contraception ...  but yes, before anyone applies this in their own life, talk to a priest.  I just don't think a cut-and-dry "you must abstain" is always the right answer.  Sex is a duty in marriage.
[/quote]

Yes, and after you talk to the priest, could you please have him explain the reasoning behind how it isn't a mortal sin, because that just blows my mind.  Sex is a duty insofar as it is open to life- sex with the use of a contraceptive is never a fulfillment of the marriage debt because it is contrary to the nature of the marriage, ie, openness to life.
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#30
(11-16-2011, 02:11 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote:
NewYorkCatholic Wrote:Even if the other spouse knows, I think it's possible to still have marital relations, as long as you are not approving the contraception ...  but yes, before anyone applies this in their own life, talk to a priest.  I just don't think a cut-and-dry "you must abstain" is always the right answer.  Sex is a duty in marriage.

Yes, and after you talk to the priest, could you please have him explain the reasoning behind how it isn't a mortal sin, because that just blows my mind.  Sex is a duty insofar as it is open to life- sex with the use of a contraceptive is never a fulfillment of the marriage debt because it is contrary to the nature of the marriage, ie, openness to life.
[/quote]

It's not a mortal sin because you can't always control what your spouse is doing.  If my wife wanted to committ the sin of gluttony (silly example), I could not buy food to prevent this, or I could buy food despite her gluttony.  My duty to provide for her greatly outweighs my duty to avoid helping her committ that sin. 

I'm sure we can come up with other examples, but the basic principles are that though it's not at all ideal and should be discussed and addressed, the husband is not sinning if the wife is taking the pill against his wishes, and the husband then withholding sex, given the importance of sex within marriage, is a severe recourse that is not required and can be damaging to the marriage.

I haven't found a traditional source to quote on this yet, but I'm looking.
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