I get NOTHING out of Mass on Sunday
#11
A priest told my mother that taking care of one's own children so other people aren't distracted is YOUR part of the Mass as a parent.   God gave those children to you, so He doesn't expect you to drop them off in a dumpster for the duration of Mass and be picked up later.  There will be a day when you can attend Mass without having to watch out for them.

Personally, I'd never advocate not bringing children to Mass, unless of course there is a serious reason such as illness.  They'll learn much better by being there than they would by staying home.
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#12
I know a few families that split duties - Mom will go to early Mass and Dad will go to a later one.  That being said, I'd rather bring all the little ones to Mass, no matter how much they distract me.

With five kids ages 10 and under and one on the way, I know exactly what you're going through!  Been through the "Terrible Twos" several times (and they've generally lasted from 16 months-4 years old for my kids, not just the "Twos").

Hang in there!  :pray:
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#13
(07-08-2012, 06:38 PM)paul11b Wrote: So my three year old son is a complete nightmare at Mass. He continuously talks, tries to run around, gets loud, and I spend all of my energy at Mass just trying to get him to calm down and be quiet. It's VERY frustrating and I can't pay any attention during Mass at all on Sunday. The only time that I can actually get something out of Mass is if I go to daily Mass by myself during the week. My question is this, is it ok if I go to Sunday Mass alone while my wife watches the kids, and then she go alone while I watch the kids? I kinda would feel bad about that though cause I feel like they are Catholics too, even though they are young, so they should be at Mass. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

In addition to all the great advice given here, I must also add that my parents did this when I was little, until I was old enough to listen and behave - around age three.  When I got older, I feared my parents' wrath, so I knew that acting up in church wouldn't end well for me - and I had too much respect for God as a result of my religious education to want to act up, anyway.

So, while you and the missus continue to raise good Catholic children, don't feel bad about splitting up churchgoing. At least both parents are going to a Catholic Mass and have every intention of raising their children Catholic; you could be in a mixed marriage and only be able to attend Mass twice a month (if that), so it could be much worse.
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#14
Pilgrim and I used a different tactic.  We have two 3 year olds and one 2 year old.  We talk about "visiting Jesus and Mary" (the kids came up with these words - not me) and needing to be very quiet in church.  We practice our postures: the sign of the cross, genuflection, standing, kneeling.  We talk up church and discuss respect and how it is nice to do all these things properly.  We then make sure everyone is watered and has visited the bathroom before mass.  The kids know that if we leave the pew because we need to discipline them or take them to the bathroom that there will be a serious consequence.  We also praise the kids when we don't have any problems and generally reward good behavior.  Most of the time this includes a cookie following good behavior at mass and no cookie (while the siblings much theirs of course) if they needed to be disciplined.  So far, the effect has been darn near idyllic behavior at mass.  Our 2 year old will fuss and fidget a little but this is easily neutralized by moving him into a lap.  He is then perfectly content to be quiet most of the time.  This past Sunday, my eldest son (3) just wanted to sit next to be and hold my hand.  As long as I was next to him, he was perfectly quiet.

It is perhaps worth mentioning that we drive 1.5 hours each way to the TLM and still get this kind of behavior.  I think the most effective thing has been reviewing expected behavior every time.  It helps that the kids seem to really enjoy mass.  They ask to "go visit Jesus" during the week and like to go pray in front of the tabernacle (a word they mangle every time but try so hard to say).  I view these shorter visits as practice for Sunday mass.

I would encourage you to bring your son to mass with you whenever you can.  I know it sounds like a hassel but I think it will communicate to him how seriously you take your faith.  If he senses that mass is important enough to you for you to help him learn to be good during this time each week, his behavior will hopefully fall in line quickly.  He is not too little to understand that something is important and at least try to be good.
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#15
If you need to go to go to Mass for a while and get your soul on straight, do so. It's not the end of the world if your three yo misses Mass for a month so you can get some sanity. You do what you have to do to survive.

Since #4, Mr. T and I switch off. We do take one or two of the older kids with us, but not the babies, and not the 3 and 4 yo together.
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#16
(07-08-2012, 08:30 PM)Melkite Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 06:38 PM)paul11b Wrote: So my three year old son is a complete nightmare at Mass. He continuously talks, tries to run around, gets loud, and I spend all of my energy at Mass just trying to get him to calm down and be quiet. It's VERY frustrating and I can't pay any attention during Mass at all on Sunday. The only time that I can actually get something out of Mass is if I go to daily Mass by myself during the week. My question is this, is it ok if I go to Sunday Mass alone while my wife watches the kids, and then she go alone while I watch the kids? I kinda would feel bad about that though cause I feel like they are Catholics too, even though they are young, so they should be at Mass. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Are there any Byzantine Catholic churches nearby?  There is so much going on during the liturgy, kids are usually distracted enough by what's going on that they don't act up too often.

Are you serious? The duty of the parent is to train the child, and yes, it  might take a few swats on the bottom for the little tike to get the message. I'm sure if the/she doesn't listen to you at Mass you are not listened to anywhere else! Remember, you are in charge and not the little terrorist...
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#17
(07-10-2012, 02:26 PM)OldMan Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 08:30 PM)Melkite Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 06:38 PM)paul11b Wrote: So my three year old son is a complete nightmare at Mass. He continuously talks, tries to run around, gets loud, and I spend all of my energy at Mass just trying to get him to calm down and be quiet. It's VERY frustrating and I can't pay any attention during Mass at all on Sunday. The only time that I can actually get something out of Mass is if I go to daily Mass by myself during the week. My question is this, is it ok if I go to Sunday Mass alone while my wife watches the kids, and then she go alone while I watch the kids? I kinda would feel bad about that though cause I feel like they are Catholics too, even though they are young, so they should be at Mass. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Are there any Byzantine Catholic churches nearby?  There is so much going on during the liturgy, kids are usually distracted enough by what's going on that they don't act up too often.

Are you serious? The duty of the parent is to train the child, and yes, it  might take a few swats on the bottom for the little tike to get the message. I'm sure if the/she doesn't listen to you at Mass you are not listened to anywhere else! Remember, you are in charge and not the little terrorist...

Quote:Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late.
-Dr. Thomas Sowell
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#18
(07-10-2012, 02:37 PM)jonbhorton Wrote:
(07-10-2012, 02:26 PM)OldMan Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 08:30 PM)Melkite Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 06:38 PM)paul11b Wrote: So my three year old son is a complete nightmare at Mass. He continuously talks, tries to run around, gets loud, and I spend all of my energy at Mass just trying to get him to calm down and be quiet. It's VERY frustrating and I can't pay any attention during Mass at all on Sunday. The only time that I can actually get something out of Mass is if I go to daily Mass by myself during the week. My question is this, is it ok if I go to Sunday Mass alone while my wife watches the kids, and then she go alone while I watch the kids? I kinda would feel bad about that though cause I feel like they are Catholics too, even though they are young, so they should be at Mass. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Are there any Byzantine Catholic churches nearby?  There is so much going on during the liturgy, kids are usually distracted enough by what's going on that they don't act up too often.

Are you serious? The duty of the parent is to train the child, and yes, it  might take a few swats on the bottom for the little tike to get the message. I'm sure if the/she doesn't listen to you at Mass you are not listened to anywhere else! Remember, you are in charge and not the little terrorist...

Quote:Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late.
-Dr. Thomas Sowell

I knew I liked that man!
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#19
We have 3 hyper-active boys (6, 4, & 2) and used to have a very hard time (the 2 year still gives us a hard time).  What changed it for us was when we starting praying the Holy Rosary everyday.  When Mom and Dad pray, the boys get to color -- either religious coloring books or a blank sheet of paper and drawing something for God, and no talking is allowed.  If they are silent the whole time, they get dessert.  Talkative, no dessert.  Amazingly, this has done wonders and they have come up with some incredible pictures that surround my office.  Their behavior at Mass has improved exponentially, except the 2 year old. 
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#20
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!
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