I get NOTHING out of Mass on Sunday
#21
(07-13-2012, 02:13 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

That doesn't work with every kid. Not all 3 yo are mature enough to fully understand cause and effect.
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#22
(07-13-2012, 02:28 PM)verenaerin Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:13 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

That doesn't work with every kid. Not all 3 yo are mature enough to fully understand cause and effect.

It works with all four of mine, and honestly, that's all that matters to me.
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#23
(07-08-2012, 07:51 PM)JMartyr Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 06:53 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote: Rbj hit the nsil on the head
Snoop DO double G

Excellent.  +1 tambien.  :tiphat:
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#24
(07-14-2012, 01:33 AM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:28 PM)verenaerin Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:13 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

That doesn't work with every kid. Not all 3 yo are mature enough to fully understand cause and effect.

It works with all four of mine, and honestly, that's all that matters to me.

I am glad that has worked for you. This has been a very hard lesson for my son. While the threat of a spank at church may deter him for a minute or two, he either thinks it's a game, forgets, or doesn't care. Also, we noticed that with certain types of punishments, he would just get violent and hit and kick later on. So we stuck with time outs for about a year. He is not perfect, but is now much better at Mass now that he has matured. But at three, he was very immature and there wasn't any training that was going to change that.

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#25
(07-13-2012, 02:28 PM)verenaerin Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:13 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

That doesn't work with every kid. Not all 3 yo are mature enough to fully understand cause and effect.

This.
Our 20 month daughter is a massive handful at mass, and a smack will only make things worse for the rest of the parishioners. At this age they're just too young to understand why or how to be quiet for more than 3 minutes. I don't pretend to have any surefire answers (my wife and I struggle with this issue on a weekly basis), but I think setting a good example and a regular attendance at mass from as early an age as possible (and as some have suggested, during the week if possible) is the way to go.
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#26
(07-14-2012, 01:33 AM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:28 PM)verenaerin Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:13 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

That doesn't work with every kid. Not all 3 yo are mature enough to fully understand cause and effect.

It works with all four of mine, and honestly, that's all that matters to me.

+1
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#27
(07-14-2012, 01:33 AM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:28 PM)verenaerin Wrote:
(07-13-2012, 02:13 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 07:17 PM)ggreg Wrote: It is important that your children fear you as well as love you. My kids are good in Church because they know what would happen if they got out of line.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

That doesn't work with every kid. Not all 3 yo are mature enough to fully understand cause and effect.

It works with all four of mine, and honestly, that's all that matters to me.

But you may be like the child psychologist who started out his career with six theories on raising children but no children.  He wound up with six children and no theories!    :grin:

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#28
When my children were all small (now teens or left home), we trained them all week for the Mass on Sunday.  By the time you get to Mass, it's too late to implement much beyond threats.  We had reasonable guidelines (or so we thought) of quietness but they could have certain items with them.  We trained them to be fully participatory at certain times in the Mass .  (The bells rung at Mass help with that!)

For example, I trained the children to learn to be quiet with certain toys they could only have on Sunday by practicing being quiet daily for about the same amount of time as the Mass ( 1 to 1 1/2 hours).  I did reading aloud while letting them color, play with a doll, look at picture books, and the youngers learned to sit on my lap during that time.  My husband would assist with this as he could. 

They all grew to be able to do it by the time they were around 3, so it can be done.  It took time, patience, and training (lots of it) but it was worth it.  It was work, no kidding but a friend shared with me how she'd done it using "room time" and "blanket time" and "lap time" from the time they are wee babies. I have an even # of boys/girls...so boys can do it.  Admittedly, I had no children with ADD or ADHD.  And we don't do cartoons, etc.  Just lots of reading. :) Things that lengthen and strengthen their attention span.  I think this was important. 

Also, we made sure they had no sugar stuff at breakfast and tried to ensure they were rested the night before.

I will pray for your family!  :pray:
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#29
The latest issue in our house has been needing to go potty during mass.  So, we made a point of taking all 3 to the potty just before mass.  Our rule is you get to hold it and deal with the consequences if you have an accident.  Our kids have been able to hold it consistently for 3+ hours, so I'm not sure the requests to go potty were anything more than an excuse to leave the pew.  But, we have a routine we stick to before church:
1.  Everyone gets dressed in their best clothes.
2.  We sit down as a family and talk about going to church and how we behave.  (Review the rules)
3.  We all go potty.
4.  We go to mass.
Like GGG, we do have "quiet time" every day with books.  This seems to help because it develops the expectation that there are times in life when the kids just need to settle down.  At home, if there are mistakes, we can correct them easily.  This makes "practice" meaningful for both us and them.  I can see when our 2 year old is working up to something and read behaviors better if I see them more often.  They learn what the expectations are and get to practice meeting them. 

Not all kids are the same, but I would think discussing expectations and practicing behaviors you want at mass would help at least a little.
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#30
(07-08-2012, 07:51 PM)JMartyr Wrote:
(07-08-2012, 06:53 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote: Rbj hit the nsil on the head
Snoop DO double G

[imghttp://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/009/223/i_see_goggles.jpg][/img]
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