So, I've been thinking...
#21
(10-16-2012, 03:18 PM)Fontevrault Wrote: Parents are parents.  Most of them never think the young man in question is acceptable.  Remember that they are out to protect their little girl and there is no man on earth good enough for her. Sorry, but that's how they think.  Pilgrim could tell you horror stories about meeting my parents and he flew to Paris to meet them.  Fast forward a few years and the mother-in-law who accused him of being an alcoholic because he had a drink on an airplane is now shouting his praises and tells me that he is a very, very good man.  It took a while but she finally agrees with me.

Perhaps the problem is that the ladies you have met so far don't see you as something worth fighting with their parents about.  It is possible that trad girls (I certainly wasn't raised this way) are not forceful enough when it comes to expressing their opinions.  They may listen to their parents more than you'd like.  Then again, maybe you haven't met Miss Right just yet.

Actually, the trad girls were the ones difficult to start relationships with.  This Novus Ordo girlfriend I have now (who seems VERY eager to tradvert) didn't even really bother her parents.  She just let them know, and her Fox News mom sort of doesn't like my politics.  Le girlfriend tells me she's on my side, though.  She likes the SSPX, and agrees with my politics, but isn't yet willing to leave what she's grown up with.

Smile

But this is about trad parents in general not my situation.  And yes, some of these trad girls seemed to be "stuck" in the sense that their interests seemed to be those of girls a few years younger than them, and their parents didn't seem to want to let them grow up.  Other trad guys, one of which is married, agree with me on some of these points.  Heck, the married guy pointed out the fact that trad parents baby their kids way too long (as in, into their early 20's).  By "baby" I mean treat them like they're more helpless and naive than they actually are... which sort of prolongs their "naive" stage longer than need be.
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#22
(10-16-2012, 10:13 PM)JuniorCouncilor Wrote:
(10-16-2012, 09:55 PM)Adam_Michael Wrote: I will be detering all of my daughters (I have 3) from having any contact with males. I activly encouarge them all to be nuns.

St. Augustine and I wish you the most brilliant success.

Your wife, however, may want grandchildren, and there may be plenty of young trad men on her side.  If such be God's will, I wish them good success as well!

My comment was a bit tongue in cheek.  I will support marriage.  I would LOVE grandchildren one day!!

But I openly advocate the religious life.  They need to know it is a real world option.  My 6 year old has a brochure from a convent and loves to look at the nuns.
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#23
(10-16-2012, 10:59 PM)Adam_Michael Wrote:
(10-16-2012, 10:13 PM)JuniorCouncilor Wrote:
(10-16-2012, 09:55 PM)Adam_Michael Wrote: I will be detering all of my daughters (I have 3) from having any contact with males. I activly encouarge them all to be nuns.

St. Augustine and I wish you the most brilliant success.

Your wife, however, may want grandchildren, and there may be plenty of young trad men on her side.  If such be God's will, I wish them good success as well!

My comment was a bit tongue in cheek.  I will support marriage.  I would LOVE grandchildren one day!!

But I openly advocate the religious life.  They need to know it is a real world option.  My 6 year old has a brochure from a convent and loves to look at the nuns.

My comment, on the other hand, was not the least bit tongue in cheek.  Smile

I really do wish you success on both counts-- more on the first, if possible, but both are beautiful states of life!
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#24
(10-16-2012, 10:47 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: the fact that trad parents baby their kids way too long (as in, into their early 20's).  By "baby" I mean treat them like they're more helpless and naive than they actually are... which sort of prolongs their "naive" stage longer than need be.

Don't all parents do this?
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#25
(10-17-2012, 01:20 PM)piabee Wrote:
(10-16-2012, 10:47 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: the fact that trad parents baby their kids way too long (as in, into their early 20's).  By "baby" I mean treat them like they're more helpless and naive than they actually are... which sort of prolongs their "naive" stage longer than need be.

Don't all parents do this?

Most. But to varying degrees.

There are parents who push their kids to be self-sufficient sooner than reasonable though, on the other end of the spectrum. And at the extreme end are parents who are downright neglectful.

I supppose you were asking "don't all reasonably good parents do this?" and I'd say "yes" to that.
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#26
(10-16-2012, 04:42 PM)Graham Wrote: I never felt so much pressure to be making money hand-over-fist until I became a traditional Catholic. Now I feel angry everyday because I'm poor. I have a wealth of talent but apparently that counts for nothing with arch-pragmatist, "what's the dollar value" Trad Dad.

I'm an idealist and I'm pursuing a job that satisfies me even if it won't pay like an engineer, lawyer, or doctor job would. If that's incomprehensible to Trad Dad then damn the old fool, he doesn't get to decide who his of-age daughter should be marrying anyway.

My daughter married a farmer.  This is definitely a job done more for ideals than money.  My husband and I were far more interested in our son-in-law's character than his finances.
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#27
(10-17-2012, 01:30 PM)newyorkcatholic Wrote: I supppose you were asking "don't all reasonably good parents do this?" and I'd say "yes" to that.

I just meant it's not exclusive to trads as the OP was implying.
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#28
(10-17-2012, 02:04 PM)piabee Wrote:
(10-17-2012, 01:30 PM)newyorkcatholic Wrote: I supppose you were asking "don't all reasonably good parents do this?" and I'd say "yes" to that.

I just meant it's not exclusive to trads as the OP was implying.

Oh ok. Yeah, I agree it's definitely not a trad-specific thing.
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#29
(10-17-2012, 01:20 PM)piabee Wrote:
(10-16-2012, 10:47 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: the fact that trad parents baby their kids way too long (as in, into their early 20's).  By "baby" I mean treat them like they're more helpless and naive than they actually are... which sort of prolongs their "naive" stage longer than need be.

Don't all parents do this?

Depends on what areas of their kids' development you're talking about. 
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#30
(10-16-2012, 04:13 PM)James02 Wrote: Here's my advise to men starting out.  FORGET WOMEN for a few years and get established.  Have a goal to save $20,000 in 2 years.  This will change you and the women will notice.  You will project responsibility. 

Why oh why oh why don't more people think like this! What ever happened to being practical and responsible??

I know one young Trad family who married with massive student loans.  Now they have children and are still hopelessly up to their eyeballs in debt and struggling to make ends meet.  Please pray for them. 

My wife's sister is dating Mr. Perfect and they are pushing to get married within the year.  The problem is he didn't until very recently (think the last 3 months) have a car, a cell phone, or a job, he lived at home and was in debt.  He could be out of debt by now, but suffice to say he has little to no savings and she has practically nothing to her name.  Yes he's on the right path, but they still want to get married within a year and to my wife and I's frustration her parents are encouraging it. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??

Why can't people think practically.  If you're a Trad you're going to have a large family.  A family costs money.  Living costs money. What happened to establishing yourself before rushing off to get married? Oh, I forgot.  "We're in love and can't wait any longer." Garbage.  If you're meant to be than you can wait until you're responsible enough to get married. 

I graduated from a military academy with no debt.  While we were dating my wife (who also worked at the time) and I agreed that we would not get married until we had set aside (x) amount of money as an emergency fund.  Thankfully we did and that I have a secure job that pays well because we got pregnant right away.  My wife stopped working, gave birth to our first, and almost immediately got pregnant with number 2.  We've been married almost 3 years and have been blessed with 2 little girls so far. 

I thank God for my blessings every day.  I know I'm more fortunate than many others, but at the same time I can't help but wonder what would happen if people were more practical and thought things through. 

I also know its not specifically a Trad thing, but society at large.  Debt is encouraged.  Taking out massive loans is par for the course.  Having 5 different credit cards is the norm.  Hell, using those credit cards to pay off other credit cards is even ok.  People are committing financial suicide and don't even realize it.   

What's my point after this rant? Parents please lead by example and teach your kids and their future spouses to be responsible!
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