So, I've been thinking...
#41
(10-21-2012, 08:40 PM)Graham Wrote: Jesus & his Apostles & Disciples were all Artists
A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect : the Man
Or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian

That's my perspective, and it doesn't seem to be shared in my milieu. 

It seems pretty dismissive of ordinary people.

Really, I think most dads of all classes in any age would be suspicious of their daughter's artist boyfriend.
Reply
#42
(10-21-2012, 08:59 PM)m.PR Wrote:
(10-21-2012, 08:40 PM)Graham Wrote: Jesus & his Apostles & Disciples were all Artists
A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect : the Man
Or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian

That's my perspective, and it doesn't seem to be shared in my milieu. 

It seems pretty dismissive of ordinary people.

I don't see it that way. On the contrary, I think it's dismissive of ordinary people to imply they can't be artists. Any man on the street can have a poet's soul.

Reply
#43
(10-21-2012, 08:59 PM)m.PR Wrote: Really, I think most dads of all classes in any age would be suspicious of their daughter's artist boyfriend.

Solution: date an artist's daughter.
Reply
#44
(10-21-2012, 09:28 PM)The_Harlequin_King Wrote:
(10-21-2012, 08:59 PM)m.PR Wrote: Really, I think most dads of all classes in any age would be suspicious of their daughter's artist boyfriend.

Solution: date an artist's daughter.

Even I would be suspicious of you, HK. LOL
Reply
#45
(10-21-2012, 09:28 PM)The_Harlequin_King Wrote:
(10-21-2012, 08:59 PM)m.PR Wrote: Really, I think most dads of all classes in any age would be suspicious of their daughter's artist boyfriend.

Solution: date an artist's daughter.

You have my admiration, sir.  Your solution is simple, logical, elegant.  Salute
Reply
#46
(10-21-2012, 08:40 PM)Graham Wrote:
(10-21-2012, 05:21 PM)JayneK Wrote: My son-in-law does not own land. 

Well I apologize for assuming, I guess I was looking for ways to feel sorry for myself. What does he farm?

He works his father's farm (which he will not necessarily inherit.) 

(10-21-2012, 08:40 PM)Graham Wrote:
Quote:I doubt that many fathers view it as a business deal. My own father saw my marriage as turning over his financial responsibility for me to my husband.  My father saw himself as the provider for his family and he wanted me to marry a man who would provide for me.  This what he understood to be a husband's duty.  Although my father is not a traditional Catholic he is an old-fashioned man and is probably much like a trad in this.

I understand, but I guess I'm writing from my own peculiar experience of traditional Catholicism. There is a dismaying 'fifteesism', like many people are conflating respectable middle classdom with being Traditional. I'm about to quote a rabid millenarian heretic, but:

Jesus & his Apostles & Disciples were all Artists
A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect : the Man
Or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian

That's my perspective, and it doesn't seem to be shared in my milieu.

I can't speak for anyone else, but wealth and respectability are not qualities that are important to me in a son-in-law.  I would be happy with my daughter marrying an artist if I thought he was a good man and would help her get to heaven.
Reply
#47
I would favor James' advice. 

It is possible for a young man to put together a good foundation for himself and his future.  There should not be shame living at home with Mom and Dad- or in worker's housing near a rig. 

The 20s are a seminal, crucial time for a young man in our society to orient himself.  America for its faults does have relatively copious opportunity for social advancement because here, more or less you fake it 'til you make it.

In recent months I've myself considered these things and have arrived at the basic fact that many of us- myself first- have harbored a distorted view of family life.  So, when we each night beg with tears welling for Our Lord and Lady to grant a family, because after all I am an authentic Catholic, not like those neo-pagan deviants... well, do we even know what it is we are asking?

Maybe Our Lord is putting us through the fire seven times over for a better end than we can immediately comprehend.  A tough lesson is to truly internalize that marriage is a means to an end, namely mutual salvation and the rearing of good Catholic souls, viz. God is the focus, the alpha and the omega. 

It is very easy to settle into a false perspective of what family life will be because our media bombards us with lies every moment of our waking lives.  It's not simply the neat order of a home and a squad of good Catholic sons.  How will I respond if my young troopers begin to rebel?  Can I immediately and without the hint of hesitation truly be a father in a tough situation?  Do I have a stable professional situation and means of living to inculcate in KingTheoden II?

The core of all our thoughts has to be, Is this action of mine serving my Lord or my own wounded self-will?  St. Bernard writes that if we cannot accept virginity (that is, religious life or candidacy for Priesthood, which is definitionally celibate), we must embrace humility.

Probably, it is not indicative of a humble mind to think things like 'I'd be a better father than the contracepting scumbags I know' or 'I'm the best this girl could expect, why the hesitation?'.

Just the way things are arranged (or not arranged, perhaps) in our society, it is extremely unlikely that most men faithful to the true Faith will marry until around 30.  We can cry and say 'it's not fair' or we can thank God for a) Creating us in the first place b) volunteering from all time to enter His creation as a living oblation for our eternal salvation and c) going through the whole endeavor and never giving up on us despite perfect foreknowledge of all those times we have roughly turned our backs on Him in favor of the devil's lies.

Imagine you are 23, you can save maybe $10,000 a year for a few years, then maybe $20,000, etc.  And you find at age 30 you have around 50-70k in the bank and skills and a stable pattern of life- and hopefully a deeply Catholic mind. 

If it's just not happening with regard to getting engaged, Why not become a de facto archdeacon at your oratory or parish?  Help Father with Masses, Holy Hours, driving, etc.  HK is so 100% on the mark that we need the Minor Orders back- but why wait?  I know that traditional parishes/oratories would love to have even semi-competent young men assist with administration. 

I hope this helps the OP and all reading.  I would just add that young ladies should not get too selective and clever for their own good because, and I see it very boldly, many will wake up 39 and realize that our OP is stable, with money, and still physically desirable.  So on one hand a man might have to wait, on the other a young lady does not have the same degree of flexibility.

But again imagine you have a daughter.  You probably would not take to it well some young suitor chatting up your girl despite lacking stability and financial backing- yet being rich in wild ideas.

At the end of the day, trust in God's will and ask Our Lady for help during the weak and lonely times that you will certainly encounter.  Bon chance!
Reply
#48
Putting yourself in God's hands yields results you never expected, but probably needed more than what it was that you wanted.
Reply
#49
(10-15-2012, 05:37 PM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: In my experience, I've not seen many trad ladies afoot at trad chapels. 

And if they are there, they are typically there with their families.  Which makes for a HORRIBLE approach/opening.
Why don't you see if there is some way you could be a friend of the family. that could give you an opening approach.
Smile Smile Smile
Reply
#50
I remember at one of my sister's weddings, Dad admitted that there was no one who would be good enough in his eyes to marry one of my sisters. Wait until you are married and have daughters.
Smile Smile Smile
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)