I am announcing my candidacy for Pope!
#1
I just figure if any of the powers that be who will be at the conclave read this forum, they should know I am officially putting my name in the hat to become the next Pope. Here are some of the first few things I will do immediately upon beginning my office:

1. Make the TLM the only form of the Mass allowed in the Roman Rite.
2. Regularize the SSPX and make some SSPX priests Bishops.
3. Starting with the USA, go through the list of all the Bishops and Cardinals and remove the faculties of any of them that aren't Catholic. Then go country by country and do the same.
4. Go through all the seminaries and remove the directors and instructors that aren't Catholic.
5. Restore all the old Holy Days of Obligation and not make them on Sundays.

So, I am ready to lead the Church into it's glorious restoration!

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#2
I'm holding out for Turkson. Just sayin'.
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#3
February 12, 2014 (Rome)

In a shocking move today Pope PetertheRock named Britney Spears a member of the College of Cardinals. This is the latest surprising move by the Pontiff who last year hosted a Selena Gomez concert in the Sistine Chapel. Cardinal Fellay, the head of the CDF, released a statement praising the Pope for getting Miss Spears to agree to release Hit Me Baby in Latin. " This is simply yet another great move by the Pope that ended the crisis. I think saying ' oops, he did it again' is appropriate here" said Fellay.

Meanwhile, the former Pope Joseph Ratzinger announced he was a sedevacantist now...
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#4
(02-11-2013, 02:00 PM)Someone1776 Wrote: February 12, 2014 (Rome)

In a shocking move today Pope PetertheRock named Britney Spears a member of the College of Cardinals. This is the latest surprising move by the Pontiff who last year hosted a Selena Gomez concert in the Sistine Chapel.

:LOL: so wrong
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#5
He must choose a name first. I suggest Pope Bozo1. Any other suggestions?
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#6
(02-11-2013, 01:41 PM)Petertherock Wrote: I just figure if any of the powers that be who will be at the conclave read this forum, they should know I am officially putting my name in the hat to become the next Pope. Here are some of the first few things I will do immediately upon beginning my office:

1. Make the TLM the only form of the Mass allowed in the Roman Rite.
2. Regularize the SSPX and make some SSPX priests Bishops.
3. Starting with the USA, go through the list of all the Bishops and Cardinals and remove the faculties of any of them that aren't Catholic. Then go country by country and do the same.
4. Go through all the seminaries and remove the directors and instructors that aren't Catholic.
5. Restore all the old Holy Days of Obligation and not make them on Sundays.

So, I am ready to lead the Church into it's glorious restoration!

Also please consider restoring/clarifying abstinence every Friday; have SSPX conditionally-consecrate all of the "bishops" fit to hold the office; then have these bishops conditionally ordain all priests fit to be priests; kick all modernists (students, faculty, groundskeepers, etc.) out of seminaries in a public spectacle; reinstate a pre-Bugnini Missal; declare that henceforth heretics, pagans, jews, moslems, etc. shall not be catered to and their places of worship shall not be entered; restore traditional Lenten and ember day fasts; declare yourself Pope Gregory XVIII.

This would be a good start.
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#7
(02-11-2013, 02:00 PM)Someone1776 Wrote: February 12, 2014 (Rome)

In a shocking move today Pope PetertheRock named Britney Spears a member of the College of Cardinals. This is the latest surprising move by the Pontiff who last year hosted a Selena Gomez concert in the Sistine Chapel. Cardinal Fellay, the head of the CDF, released a statement praising the Pope for getting Miss Spears to agree to release Hit Me Baby in Latin. " This is simply yet another great move by the Pope that ended the crisis. I think saying ' oops, he did it again' is appropriate here" said Fellay.

Meanwhile, the former Pope Joseph Ratzinger announced he was a sedevacantist now...

This is pretty obnoxious.  PTR deserved the retort by starting this thread.  But the attack on Bishop Fellay was not necessary and not funny.
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#8
(02-11-2013, 02:34 PM)OHCA Wrote:
(02-11-2013, 01:41 PM)Petertherock Wrote: I just figure if any of the powers that be who will be at the conclave read this forum, they should know I am officially putting my name in the hat to become the next Pope. Here are some of the first few things I will do immediately upon beginning my office:

1. Make the TLM the only form of the Mass allowed in the Roman Rite.
2. Regularize the SSPX and make some SSPX priests Bishops.
3. Starting with the USA, go through the list of all the Bishops and Cardinals and remove the faculties of any of them that aren't Catholic. Then go country by country and do the same.
4. Go through all the seminaries and remove the directors and instructors that aren't Catholic.
5. Restore all the old Holy Days of Obligation and not make them on Sundays.

So, I am ready to lead the Church into it's glorious restoration!

Also please consider restoring/clarifying abstinence every Friday; have SSPX conditionally-consecrate all of the "bishops" fit to hold the office; then have these bishops conditionally ordain all priests fit to be priests; kick all modernists (students, faculty, groundskeepers, etc.) out of seminaries in a public spectacle; reinstate a pre-Bugnini Missal; declare that henceforth heretics, pagans, jews, moslems, etc. shall not be catered to and their places of worship shall not be entered; restore traditional Lenten and ember day fasts; declare yourself Pope Gregory XVIII.

This would be a good start.

I actually almost added the abstinence on all Fridays. That's definitely something I would do. And there would be no Britney in the Vatican unless she converts and renounces her former life. Since Selena Gomez is a Catholic already, she would only have to take and sign the oath against modernism...which of course I would do upon taking office.

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#9
Could Selena Gomez be appointed Prefect for the newly created Congregation for the Propagation of Bubble Gum Pop?
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#10
(02-11-2013, 06:32 PM)Someone1776 Wrote: Could Selena Gomez be appointed Prefect for the newly created Congregation for the Propagation of Bubble Gum Pop?

Would Justin Bieber be undersecretary?
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