Had to leave the girlfriend
#1
Ideological differences.  It was coming and though she came closer to my views, she was just too compromising. 

Her spirituality is damaged by her upbringing (her mom was a grad student at Steubenville) and after our debates, she'd end up just saying "I don't care".

My heart was in it, my intellect kept slapping me with the facts.  She wants me back, but if we can't settle our differences... it's not happening.  And I'm NOT compromising on my beliefs.

She needs prayers.  Her "sensus fidei" just doesn't seem to be there.  Any reasonable points I'd make she would only try to counter with emotional pleas.

I pray that I'll find a wonderful wife.  I don't want to deny any future children the blessing of a traditional Catholic mom.
Reply
#2
:pray: :pray: :pray:
Reply
#3
(06-23-2013, 09:29 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: I don't want to deny any future children the blessing of a traditional Catholic mom.

Wow.  This is incredibly edifying.  I pray you find God's mate for you.
Reply
#4
:pray:
Reply
#5
:pray2:
Reply
#6
Never an easy decision, but it's so encouraging to know that there are still people who put their faith (and the faith of future offspring) first.
Reply
#7
:pray:
Reply
#8
What was so bad about her? She sounds sincere, even if frustrated temporarily. Are you sure you're being completely reasonable? Does she want to use contraception or something? I wonder if this is the right decision. Perhaps instead of "debates", you both learn how to become better Catholics together. She's Catholic, right? I mean, maybe you need to find agreement, like your family will only attend traditional Masses on normal occasions, but does she believe heresies? And if she really loves you, she'll favor your mind over her mothers. My wife and I have had amazing transitions since we first met, and we both have come to each other's views in ways we could never have foreseen, finding a beautiful place for our family. You might have to listen to mommy gripe once in a while, but that's what mother0in-laws are for, right? Oh well. Prayer for you both! Pray for her. And don't lose her.

Reply
#9
:pray:
Reply
#10
(06-25-2013, 01:26 AM)Scriptorium Wrote: What was so bad about her? She sounds sincere, even if frustrated temporarily. Are you sure you're being completely reasonable? Does she want to use contraception or something? I wonder if this is the right decision. Perhaps instead of "debates", you both learn how to become better Catholics together. She's Catholic, right? I mean, maybe you need to find agreement, like your family will only attend traditional Masses on normal occasions, but does she believe heresies? And if she really loves you, she'll favor your mind over her mothers. My wife and I have had amazing transitions since we first met, and we both have come to each other's views in ways we could never have foreseen, finding a beautiful place for our family. You might have to listen to mommy gripe once in a while, but that's what mother0in-laws are for, right? Oh well. Prayer for you both! Pray for her. And don't lose her.

There are, unfortunately, other possible outcomes. In my case, when I married, I was a conservative convert to the NO, she was a cradle, slightly liberal NOer. Over the next 20 years while I moved to being a fullblown Trad, she went the other way coming to the conclusion that the modern Church as she was experiencing it in the NO was 'rigid, hidebound, reactionary and patriarchal'. She accused me of believing in a Church 'which no longer existed' and would get upset when I received newsletters detailing the opening of new Trad parishes, Mass centres, etc. She was hearing sermons and reading news articles about the lack of vocations, the need to donate to support retired religious, etc. at the same time the Trad movement was opening new seminaries, convents and monasteries.

Finally, after 22 years and four children, she told me that she had made a 'mistake' in marrying me and filed for divorce. It's true there were other factors as well, but I'm convinced we could have worked through those had we shared the same faith.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)