Loneliness
#1
 
        It's hard to describe how I feel. but I'll give it ago.  I woke up this morning wishing I was like the heroine of my fiction stories I create ( I don't write them, I make them up in my head and draw them)  Anyway, I thought of a romantic scene where my heroine was embracing her boyfriend, and it made me very lonely.  Suddenly I wanted to be held by a man like that.  I don't know if I'll ever find someone like that, because I'm over 50,and past menopause.  It's not a longing for sex, just to be held and loved.  Well meaning people say "go help someone, go to a rest home, etc," while they go home to their spouses.  Good works shouldn't be to make me feel better; it's to help the other person.  anyway, that won't take away what I feel and long for right now.  My priest keeps saying to accept God's will, but it's so hard!  I feel I'm being punished.  Please, any prayers and advice would be welcome.  Please don't compare me to Sisters, they have a unique call, and I've never felt that call.  Anyway, prayers and advice would be nice, even PMs are OK.  I just want to stop feeling like this  :'(( :'((
Reply
#2
God may make your own loneliness the initial motivation for helping others.  You don't have to start with perfect motivation.

My situation is very similar to yours - age, seeming-lack-of-vocation.  I definitely need to help others more; I need to follow my own advice. I bet that helping others does more for your own happiness than you think.

God bless you and give you peace in your life.

:pray:
Reply
#3
(07-11-2013, 08:01 PM)Doce Me Wrote: God may make your own loneliness the initial motivation for helping others.  You don't have to start with perfect motivation.

My situation is very similar to yours - age, seeming-lack-of-vocation.  I definitely need to help others more; I need to follow my own advice. I bet that helping others does more for your own happiness than you think.

God bless you and give you peace in your life.

:pray:
  I told you, it won't take it away, didn't you get my message?  Didn't you understand?
Reply
#4
Dear Astrokitty,
I am so sorry you feel lonely. I will keep you in my prayers.
We're ingrained to want to feel human touch I think-sometimes our furry pets just don't get it no matter how loyal. Unfortunately there are singles groups at churches but they are designed for the young. What to do when we're nearing 50 and just want companionship?? and maybe a little romance??
I'm sorry I don't have any advice to offer. I have to distract myself when I feel lonely by going for a run at the HS track. I Hate running, I do it because it feels more useful than crying. (And the endorphins, yada, yada...) I also work with the elderly-most are widows. The simple touch of holding a hand or a gentle hug does wonders for both me and my clients, but it's still not a romantic embrace that I long for sometimes. So the people who say go visit a rest home do have something there, just not much! No, it doesn't take the feeling away. But I've found that I can at least get rid of it for a little while. (Shoot, I had a much less depressing message written down I wanted to send you but left it at the home of my client. Maybe their dementia is catching!) :pray2: :pray2: :pray2:
Reply
#5
(07-11-2013, 04:03 PM)AstroKitty Wrote:    
         It's hard to describe how I feel. but I'll give it ago.  I woke up this morning wishing I was like the heroine of my fiction stories I create ( I don't write them, I make them up in my head and draw them)  Anyway, I thought of a romantic scene where my heroine was embracing her boyfriend, and it made me very lonely.  Suddenly I wanted to be held by a man like that.  I don't know if I'll ever find someone like that, because I'm over 50,and past menopause. 

(Nearing that change-of-life myself, what the heck does it have to do with not finding a man?) ???
Reply
#6
(07-11-2013, 08:10 PM)AstroKitty Wrote:
(07-11-2013, 08:01 PM)Doce Me Wrote: God may make your own loneliness the initial motivation for helping others.  You don't have to start with perfect motivation.

My situation is very similar to yours - age, seeming-lack-of-vocation.  I definitely need to help others more; I need to follow my own advice. I bet that helping others does more for your own happiness than you think.

God bless you and give you peace in your life.

:pray:
  I told you, it won't take it away, didn't you get my message?  Didn't you understand?

I'm so awfully sorry.  Maybe others can help more than me - as MeredithA does, going directly to what you need now. 

Remember that God loves you and only does what is good for you, even if you don't "get it" until heaven. Just remember it! But others can give you more practical advise that could help in the mean time.

Believe me when I say I wish I could help too.   :(( :pray:  But maybe I should listen to what others say here as advice for me too.
Reply
#7
DoceMe you are giving good advice too. You can't fix or change anything without moving. THAT is the hard part.
Gee, we sound like a bunch o' happy people, don't we!

I just read this unnamed quote: every time I thought I was being rejected for something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better. A little off topic maybe but it sure hit me.
Reply
#8
(07-11-2013, 09:30 PM)Doce Me Wrote:
(07-11-2013, 08:10 PM)AstroKitty Wrote:
(07-11-2013, 08:01 PM)Doce Me Wrote: God may make your own loneliness the initial motivation for helping others.  You don't have to start with perfect motivation.

My situation is very similar to yours - age, seeming-lack-of-vocation.  I definitely need to help others more; I need to follow my own advice. I bet that helping others does more for your own happiness than you think.

God bless you and give you peace in your life.

:pray:
  I told you, it won't take it away, didn't you get my message?  Didn't you understand?

I'm so awfully sorry.  Maybe others can help more than me - as MeredithA does, going directly to what you need now. 

Remember that God loves you and only does what is good for you, even if you don't "get it" until heaven. Just remember it! But others can give you more practical advise that could help in the mean time.

Believe me when I say I wish I could help too.   :(( :pray:  But maybe I should listen to what others say here as advice for me too.
Please forgive me for snapping at you.  You meant well.  It's just that people say that- meaning well of course- to me a lot when I feel lonely.  But like I said many say that who don't really understand what I'm going through.  I'm just saying that I don't want the pain gone for a little while I want it gone for good.  but maybe God doesn't want it that way, I dunno.
But there's nothing wrong really with what you said, it just doesn't work for me. 
Reply
#9
Ave Maria...  :pray:
Reply
#10
Hey, it's me. (You know who I am)

We've talked about this before and despite my youth (my mind feels ancient), I can sympathize in some degree how you feel.

I'm going to tell you my opinion and advice. You're free to choose otherwise.

Take comfort knowing that you don't have much to choose in your current state of life. It's very dangerous to be inside your own fantasies because no matter how much you enjoy them, there will always be that little voice in the back of your head that laughs and tells you that "it's not real". It is a mistake to view having a relationship as only being shown between spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend. In being lonely, a great responsibility is given to you. You have so much power as one person, since it gives you time to do whatever you want. You find out a lot about yourself, too. You know the present realities in your life; why do things that go against that reality?

I may be lonely, a loner, and my own person, but I wake up everyday wondering what cool things might happen to me. In the past, I woke up hoping that I would die peacefully or hope that some freakish good luck might occur my way that would get rid of my problems. It didn't. Instead, I let go of the things that caused me so much pain, so much worry, so much despair and I suddenly felt better. Granted, I may not have much of a future in terms of marriage and kids (You know how young I am) but with what little I have left, I can still find my own little happiness, even if it is temporary. If I lose it, I look for it in different ways. I risk almost everything to make sure that my happiness is found, as long as it's in accordance with reason and natural law.

Let it go and you will feel as if a huge rock fell off your back. Everyday is a good day for something interesting to occur. Value your friendships, create your own hobby, and never forget that you are good enough to NOT be miserable. You control your problems; they don't control you. Create your own Empire! You will always find a good friend in me. Count your blessings!

I hope I did not come off as blunt, rude, or misunderstanding. I also hope my advice was in someway useful.

Take good care and don't let your hardships define you.  :)
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)