Loneliness
#11
(07-13-2013, 10:16 PM)RedCaves Wrote: Hey, it's me. (You know who I am)

We've talked about this before and despite my youth (my mind feels ancient), I can sympathize in some degree how you feel.

I'm going to tell you my opinion and advice. You're free to choose otherwise.

Take comfort knowing that you don't have much to choose in your current state of life. It's very dangerous to be inside your own fantasies because no matter how much you enjoy them, there will always be that little voice in the back of your head that laughs and tells you that "it's not real". It is a mistake to view having a relationship as only being shown between spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend. In being lonely, a great responsibility is given to you. You have so much power as one person, since it gives you time to do whatever you want. You find out a lot about yourself, too. You know the present realities in your life; why do things that go against that reality?

I may be lonely, a loner, and my own person, but I wake up everyday wondering what cool things might happen to me. In the past, I woke up hoping that I would die peacefully or hope that some freakish good luck might occur my way that would get rid of my problems. It didn't. Instead, I let go of the things that caused me so much pain, so much worry, so much despair and I suddenly felt better. Granted, I may not have much of a future in terms of marriage and kids (You know how young I am) but with what little I have left, I can still find my own little happiness, even if it is temporary. If I lose it, I look for it in different ways. I risk almost everything to make sure that my happiness is found, as long as it's in accordance with reason and natural law.

Let it go and you will feel as if a huge rock fell off your back. Everyday is a good day for something interesting to occur. Value your friendships, create your own hobby, and never forget that you are good enough to NOT be miserable. You control your problems; they don't control you. Create your own Empire! You will always find a good friend in me. Count your blessings!

I hope I did not come off as blunt, rude, or misunderstanding. I also hope my advice was in someway useful.

Take good care and don't let your hardships define you.  :)
  I think I get what you mean, it may take reading your post a few more times, but that's my stubborn brain, not you. It's a little different with women than men as far as marrying,etc is concerned.  Women are usually defined by their relationships with men, even Catholic women.  I'm not including Sisters, they have a unique vocation and I'm not called to that. But I think your saying to look for the upsides of being alone and look forward to the good that can happen to me each day.  If I'm not getting it, like I said, it's my brain, not anything you've said. But I was mostly referring to is physical affection-not sex or anything- but someone to hold me and make me feel special. I guess you're trying to tell me to quit fantasizing over that. But I see couples do that in real life, and I do get jealous, something I need to work on too. I think you're telling me there's more to life than that.  I know there is.  But sometimes I still want someone to hold me.  Maybe I'll learn that that's not the only thing in life, but that will take time.  God bless you :pray:
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#12
AstroKitty, I'm praying for you. Emotions are such difficult things to deal with.  :(( The best advice that I can give you is to offer this longing to God, whenever it comes. It might seem meaningless at first, or even for a long time, but it always seems to help me. Not that it makes everything all roses, but it's some comfort. Ask God as often as you need to for the strength to bear this suffering for as long as it lasts. Most importantly, remember His love for you. Everything that He endured, He endured out of love for you. Not just mankind as a whole- for you, personally. And remember that Heaven is waiting for you!  :) We weren't just made for human closeness in this life, regardless of what modern society would have us believe- we were made for God first. At bottom, we love each other because God loves.

I hope that you will find comfort.  :pray2:
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#13
I can't tell you what is going on in your life, but I can tell you about mine. I suffer loneliness too. It is a terrible condition which is pervasive today. Community is missing.

I sometimes day dream about hitting the Lotto and buying some medium sized apartment buildings made especially for what I see as the next crisis in the country. That is single for whatever reason boomers with out support and little moola.

Imagine a Catholic apartment building for anyone but based on Catholicism. I'd retrofit all the apartments, and make a community "front room" so to speak where folks could gather and share a meal or watch the tv. I'd even make a tiny chapel in each for prayer.  It's a good pipe dream because it joins my two good skills. One is I've run big projects in machining, so a building is not as complicated, and I know tons of Irish construction guys, and I can and love to cook for others.

The twist is I believe I can make it affordable by employing all the firepower of the folks that live there. We could help the local neighbors by tutoring their children, yeah, and slipping in religion, for a small amount of money based on what they could afford. I'd buy empty lots, and grade them and prepare them for urban farming, selling the excess on the cheap to the locals, and keeping the gardeners in the building and the sales fogeys busy a bit.

Organic in the Catholic sense of a community.Oh, and based on Fisheaters I have jobs for a bunch of folks here if I win the moola.

tim
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#14
(07-14-2013, 07:55 AM)Tim Wrote: I can't tell you what is going on in your life, but I can tell you about mine. I suffer loneliness too. It is a terrible condition which is pervasive today. Community is missing.

I sometimes day dream about hitting the Lotto and buying some medium sized apartment buildings made especially for what I see as the next crisis in the country. That is single for whatever reason boomers with out support and little moola.

Imagine a Catholic apartment building for anyone but based on Catholicism. I'd retrofit all the apartments, and make a community "front room" so to speak where folks could gather and share a meal or watch the tv. I'd even make a tiny chapel in each for prayer.  It's a good pipe dream because it joins my two good skills. One is I've run big projects in machining, so a building is not as complicated, and I know tons of Irish construction guys, and I can and love to cook for others.

The twist is I believe I can make it affordable by employing all the firepower of the folks that live there. We could help the local neighbors by tutoring their children, yeah, and slipping in religion, for a small amount of money based on what they could afford. I'd buy empty lots, and grade them and prepare them for urban farming, selling the excess on the cheap to the locals, and keeping the gardeners in the building and the sales fogeys busy a bit.

Organic in the Catholic sense of a community.Oh, and based on Fisheaters I have jobs for a bunch of folks here if I win the moola.

tim
That's a noble dream, Tim.  I'm an artist, I could paint nice murals for your walls or something. We have some since of community in our parish, but the demographics is mostly young families; I'm over 50 and never married, so I don't fit in, though I do get along with these families pretty good.  Your community would be idea for folks like me, though.  Let me know if you win.  :)
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#15
Astro kitty, that is the point. I see it's starting and it's going to get worse. There are many over fifty that have no place to fit in, and I'm one, too ! My idea is not so much the moola, but the idea that there is power in numbers. If you imagine an apartment building with 30 or 40 folks all over fifty, and with all of that life experience, we could make a an impact on the depraved world. It also would give us all a sense of belonging, not to mention widows and widowers might be looking, if you see what I mean.
Instead of painting the walls of an apartment, it'd be better to teach kids to paint murals on buildings, and guide them through the subject matter to a more Catholic world.

tim
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#16
That's it. Let's all move in with Tim!  Tim, you think Bombay would come?  :grin:
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#17
(07-14-2013, 02:02 PM)Deidre Wrote: That's it. Let's all move in with Tim!  Tim, you think Bombay would come?  :grin:

Well not to brag, but the Doc sometimes listens to me.

tehehehe

tim
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#18
(07-14-2013, 11:06 AM)Tim Wrote: Astro kitty, that is the point. I see it's starting and it's going to get worse. There are many over fifty that have no place to fit in, and I'm one, too ! My idea is not so much the moola, but the idea that there is power in numbers. If you imagine an apartment building with 30 or 40 folks all over fifty, and with all of that life experience, we could make a an impact on the depraved world. It also would give us all a sense of belonging, not to mention widows and widowers might be looking, if you see what I mean.
Instead of painting the walls of an apartment, it'd be better to teach kids to paint murals on buildings, and guide them through the subject matter to a more Catholic world.

tim
actually, the kids in my parish do like to sit and watch me draw, especially the girls.  Please pray for me, I'm having trouble getting a ride to my parish here lately,  I'm stick walking- in bad weather sometimes- to a "community" in a borrowed Church, and there's no since of anything there.  I can't even focus on Our Lord because I worry about walking home,etc and the people are just not that close.  I don't mean like an OF parish close; just that, as soon as Mass is over, they go home (Mass is in the evening).
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