How to keep a family devoutly Catholic?
#11
(07-18-2013, 10:45 AM)onosurf Wrote: To increase the odds of your child remaining a faithful catholic, you may want to consider the following:

1) Avoid the N.O. at all cost - evidence is overwhelming that it will result in falling away or lukewarmness (in some degree).  Go to the TLM exclusively.
2) Pray the rosary daily as a family
3) Homeschool or traditional catholic education (tons of "catholic" schools that may be more poisonous than secular schools)
4) Get rid of the tv.  Nothing indoctrinates like the tube
5) Heavy monitoring and limit use of internet
6) Make Catholicism the central tenet of the family, not simply a Sunday thang (i.e. - read books about saints, trips that include seeing a great Catholic Church or site, etc)
7) Strong catechism; teach them about the lies of the world as well so they don't learn about it on their own, alone

I agree, and emphasize point 1.
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#12
There is one thing that is very important to do when your kids are young: It is to consecrate them together with your family to our Lady.
My wife and I got 5 kids. We did the consecration in a 10 minutes home ceremony when my first daughter was 10 y.o. by the year 1990 during our summer holidays in the french Alps.
Now we can appreciate the protection we received from our Blessed Mother:
My two daughters and my first son are married, the first one since 13 years, in faithful and happy marriages. They are practising catholics and they all are growing the 8 (nextly 9) grandchildren they gave us, in the catholic faith.
None of them had a promiscuous life before marrying.
My last son is upon to get engaged to a nice girl from a devout catholic family.
Oddly enough my wife and I had almost forgotten that consecration. But our Lady didn't.
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#13
I wouldn't know this because neither my wife or I grew up Catholic in any recognizable sense... and we don't know many Catholic families.  So far we have started a family Rosary and we read my son (3) a lot of Bible stories and try to get him to sit through Mass as much as we can.  We also are actively *not* trying to shelter our child to the point where he feels like he has nothing in common with mainstream people.  Sheltering is necessary in the world we live in, of course, but I know my [Orthodox Jewish] parents really sheltered me as a child and I was very rebellious as a teenager because of it.  I was discouraged from having non-Jewish friends, I wasn't allowed to eat at other peoples houses, my parents scrutinized the books and music I looked at.  Then when I started working and earning my own money I got into punk rock and I found a girlfriend that was the antithesis of what my father wanted for me (and then married her).  I drank heavily to the point of ending up in the hospital and I didn't practice chastity at all.

I think part of it was a "grass is greener" thing.  I felt so closed off from the rest of the world that I romanticized it.  I want my son to have a strong Catholic upbringing but I grew up with parents who constnatly hovered over me and I think kids need some breathing room.
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#14
(07-19-2013, 01:29 AM)Chestertonian Wrote: I wouldn't know this because neither my wife or I grew up Catholic in any recognizable sense... and we don't know many Catholic families.  So far we have started a family Rosary and we read my son (3) a lot of Bible stories and try to get him to sit through Mass as much as we can.  We also are actively *not* trying to shelter our child to the point where he feels like he has nothing in common with mainstream people.  Sheltering is necessary in the world we live in, of course, but I know my [Orthodox Jewish] parents really sheltered me as a child and I was very rebellious as a teenager because of it.  I was discouraged from having non-Jewish friends, I wasn't allowed to eat at other peoples houses, my parents scrutinized the books and music I looked at.  Then when I started working and earning my own money I got into punk rock and I found a girlfriend that was the antithesis of what my father wanted for me (and then married her).  I drank heavily to the point of ending up in the hospital and I didn't practice chastity at all.

I think part of it was a "grass is greener" thing.  I felt so closed off from the rest of the world that I romanticized it.   I want my son to have a strong Catholic upbringing but I grew up with parents who constnatly hovered over me and I think kids need some breathing room.


This is a great point.  Thus the very difficult task to strive for "the golden mean" while not compromising with error.

Related...I concur with the recommendation to consecrate your children to the BVM.
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#15
(07-18-2013, 02:04 PM)St. Pius of Trent Wrote:
(07-18-2013, 10:45 AM)onosurf Wrote: To increase the odds of your child remaining a faithful catholic, you may want to consider the following:

1) Avoid the N.O. at all cost - evidence is overwhelming that it will result in falling away or lukewarmness (in some degree).  Go to the TLM exclusively.

I agree, and emphasize point 1.

That, however, is not a Catholic position. We have an obligation to go to Mass, so avoiding the Pauline rite at all costs is against the Church's express law. Plus you know plenty of men, like the Norbertines, who celebrate and participate in the Pauline Rite and do not fall away or become lukewarm. While I encourage people to attend the traditional Roman Rite Masses, if there is no way to attend the TLM, then we must seek out another Mass location within reason. This can be Byzantine or whatever before the Pauline rite, if you prefer, but we cannot hold that it be avoided at all costs. This is mostly to help the OP and others who may be confused when Catholics say that going to any celebration of the New Mass will cause them to fall away.
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#16
(07-19-2013, 01:16 PM)Scriptorium Wrote:
(07-18-2013, 02:04 PM)St. Pius of Trent Wrote:
(07-18-2013, 10:45 AM)onosurf Wrote: To increase the odds of your child remaining a faithful catholic, you may want to consider the following:

1) Avoid the N.O. at all cost - evidence is overwhelming that it will result in falling away or lukewarmness (in some degree).  Go to the TLM exclusively.

I agree, and emphasize point 1.

That, however, is not a Catholic position. We have an obligation to go to Mass, so avoiding the Pauline rite at all costs is against the Church's express law. Plus you know plenty of men, like the Norbertines, who celebrate and participate in the Pauline Rite and do not fall away or become lukewarm. While I encourage people to attend the traditional Roman Rite Masses, if there is no way to attend the TLM, then we must seek out another Mass location within reason. This can be Byzantine or whatever before the Pauline rite, if you prefer, but we cannot hold that it be avoided at all costs. This is mostly to help the OP and others who may be confused when Catholics say that going to any celebration of the New Mass will cause them to fall away.

Very well, I'll take the Protestant position and never attend the Pauline rite and attend the TLM exclusively. 

I am a weak weak sinner and cannot risk it.  Done it, it was a disaster.
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#17
(07-19-2013, 03:59 PM)onosurf Wrote: Very well, I'll take the Protestant position and never attend the Pauline rite and attend the TLM exclusively. 

I am a weak weak sinner and cannot risk it.   Done it, it was a disaster.

It isn't about attending the TLM exclusively or not. It was your comment "at all costs." I've never had to attend a New Mass in over ten years, but "at all costs" is not the Church's mind. Some people can't attend a TLM for some reason, and they need to know that the Church still requires them to come to Mass, and have resources on finding a good situation. This is not divorced from the promotion of TLM in those same situations.
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#18
I had to attend an NO last year. It was my wife's grandfather's funeral. It was in Spanish and super short. They allowed the family to go up and speak at the pulpit. This funeral mass was so bland and seemed all over the place; it could've easily been Lutheran or Methodist or any other prot affair. The priest, dressed in white and green vestments, was stumbling over his words. All I could do was sit there and pray to myself. Before that the last NO I attended was for my confirmation. It was awful! They had Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist there and bad rock music. One of the EME's was wearing blue jeans, work boots, denim work jacket and a t-shirt. I made sure I was in the line where the Archbishop was distributing the host. haha it really made me sad that, what should've been a beautiful celebration, was cheapened. Now that I know better I will never subject my kids to this.
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#19
(07-19-2013, 08:37 PM)MorganHiver Wrote: I had to attend an NO last year. It was my wife's grandfather's funeral. It was in Spanish and super short. They allowed the family to go up and speak at the pulpit. This funeral mass was so bland and seemed all over the place; it could've easily been Lutheran or Methodist or any other prot affair. The priest, dressed in white and green vestments, was stumbling over his words. All I could do was sit there and pray to myself. Before that the last NO I attended was for my confirmation. It was awful! They had Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist there and bad rock music. One of the EME's was wearing blue jeans, work boots, denim work jacket and a t-shirt. I made sure I was in the line where the Archbishop was distributing the host. haha it really made me sad that, what should've been a beautiful celebration, was cheapened. Now that I know better I will never subject my kids to this.

Morgan,

I would offer an opinion that these occurrences have more to do with weak clergy than with the mass itself.  Don't get me wrong, the NO is not the TLM, but the obligation is on the priest to keep the mass solemn and when you encounter priests who have the courage to not let the mass become a mockery, it brings the mass the reverence belonging to it. 

This predominantly weak clergy would scandalize the TLM also if ordered to only offer the traditional mass
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#20
^I would agree with you to an extent. I do admit that EWTN's NO isn't on the same spiritual level as the TLM but it is far better than most masses being celebrated in the real world.
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