Catholic Dating Website ?
#31
Hi mate
Thanks for such a lengthy post. Unbelievably I have never been with a woman that has had a problem with my past, and that in itself is my problem I think.
And as dark and as bad a place I have been in ( I have heard voices, having to sleep with lights on for 3 days at a time, withdrawal symptoms) Not all of it is Dark.
During the druguse the one thing you are not is boring, you are not sober sitting behind a laptop, you are going on crazy adventures or coming up with wild ideas and some of the stories can actually be hilarious. But the fun for me  now started to become almost a deathwish or suicide mission on my part and it went from fun to dark very fast.
I have warned girls before I am an asshole, and they haven't taken that seriously until after a few months spent with me.
But to be honest I do blame myself and take my part in what I done wrong, but tbh they maybe are females with a lot of personal issues themselves.
Amazingly most my serious ex's where completely sober they never even drank. And the states I got into, being found passed out on bathroom floors etc. There has to be something to why they stuck around, maybe they wanted to help deep down or thought stupidly it would be fun and it maybe all became to much for them to handle. Hell I don't blame them mate. And they where always older, 30's etc.

I don't think there is any reason to tell girls my past unless it his brought up and I sure am not going to talk about ex's I know they don't want to hear that. I don't want to know about there life unless its the nice parts to be quite honest.

As I said mate, I spent a full year discerning a vocation myself , at the moment I am not ready yet. I am very tender at the moment my friend.
I know some of The Redemptorists personally from my time trying to find a vocation, but have lost contact with them. And yes they are SOLID Men.
I don't know, I still have lots of plans maybe stay sober for a little while and see what life is like first.
Cheers
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#32
Try not to put yourself down too much, Chris87.

If you are called to marry, then it will happen with the right dedication, the right reasons, and the right circumstances.

Just don't let it consume you as the only thing you should be doing. I'm pretty sure you have other responsibilities.

Whatever issues you have, try to solve them first, AND THEN look for that special someone.

Like you said, you don't have to tell them everything you've done but don't lie to them, either.
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#33
I think the same Red TBH, I think maybe a relationship right at this moment may be quite bad, the boredom of a sober relationship and the demands that I got away with not doing for so long might be to much for me to take and might send me back to square 1 again. I have the ability to destroy anything good that happens to me in life in the matter of seconds and I don't want that anymore
Take it slow and try to piece myself together first I think.

Ave Maria
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#34
Quote:ow some people  will say just refuse, Gods Will.... I am very sorry we are both living in very different environments I am afraid.

Well Chris I am a few years younger than you—I'll be 22 in a couple of months—but we are not from very different environments as I myself am from Glasgow, Scotland.  Or near enough, I'm in Paisley, but since I was born in Sunny Govan at the Sufferin' General, I get to claim Glaswegian status.  Though the Govan part, not with pride. :P

So I'll talk to you man to man, Catholic to Catholic, and most of all, Celtic man to Celtic man.  :LOL:

Mate, I know what it's like to be alone.  I was a lot like you, except harder on the drink, less so on the drugs.  I can imagine what your friends are like, I'm sure they're a lot like my own.  Into a lot of bad things, living immoral lives, but you know you could probably count on any one of them to have your back on a night out in the toon.  Went to primary and secondary school with them.  Ha, I even went to nursery with a couple of mine.  God gave me a great grace, however, in the form of a buggered up knee cap.  Some idiot swung at me, I fell, twisted my knee, really damaged the bone.  After that I couldn't run anymore, and if you're hanging out with certain crowds on the streets, well running can come in handy.  But for me, I couldn't do it anymore.  I couldn't run about playing footie with them, I couldn't run about the streets at night, getting up to things boys our age do in Glasgow.

After that I just stopped hanging about, and spent a lot of my time in the house, reading, and indulging in the more geekier aspects of my life.  I withdrew from the old crowd I used to hang around with.  A lot of them were good, loyal friends.  But I say God gave me a great grace because... I'd have ended up dying out there eventually.  Spiritually if not physically, though I suspect both.  There were girls, a lot, and the shame is crippling sometimes.  And I know what it's like dealing with a reputation.

It's been years since that was me, and although I've not been a perfect Catholic, I'm doing better because I'm not in that environment.  I'm engaged to a great Catholic girl from the states that I met over Facebook, and God willing I'll be emigrating next year.  But are you ready for something like that?  It seems you still have a lot going on in your head and around you.  Are you emotionally and spiritually able to commit to a relationship?  Are you in a good enough place to ask a woman to come along with you?  Would getting into a relationship at this moment in time be the best thing for you?

My advice would be to avoid a relationship right now.  You don't want your past experiences with women and your life as a whole, to get in the way of a happy relationship for the future.  If you're still struggling with alcohol and drugs and avoiding them, then work on that.  As for your friends.. honestly, the best thing to do is to just withdraw from it.  The bars and pubs are just going to be bad occasions for you.  It'll be hard and I know that from personal experience.  Do you work?  If not, get a job that keeps you occupied, preferably evening shifts!  Or go to college, even if you don't have a massive plan sorted for your future, go do an Access course at STOW that can open opportunities for you in the future, or even just to keep you occupied and away from things for a while.  Or collect a giro for a few turns and head up to Orkney on a retreat with the Redemptorists!  :LOL: There's plenty of things you can do to keep on track and move on from your past.

I know a good few traditional priests in Glasgow, that celebrate the traditional Latin Mass, are very orthodox and holy men.  There's a strong traditional community in the west where you can find friends and help.  There's even a few young guys about your age.  When was the last time you were at confession?  Do we, altogether, ever truly contemplate just how awesome and completely mind-blowing this Sacrament is?  In the confessional, at the words of your absolution, it's all just... gone.  The Most Precious Blood completely and utterly eradicates your sins.  God not only forgives, He forgets them too.  His love for us is just so.

Anyway I've rambled a little here.  If you'd like, feel free to send me a PM on the forum.  :)

God bless and may Our Blessed Lady intercede for you before the throne of His Mercy!
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#35
If you absolutely must seek a relationship with a Catholic woman, I think you should plainly state up front what your past was like before the relationship begins.
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#36
(09-06-2013, 11:25 AM)christulsa123 Wrote: Have you been to the SSPX chapel in Glasgow?   Perhaps you could go to the priest for confession and spiritual counsel. http://sspx.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=100:glasgow-chapel&catid=72:mass-centres-around-uk&Itemid=55

There's also two diocesan parishes within walking distance of Saint Andrew's SSPX that offer the traditional Latin Mass on almost every day of the week, with confession, and also very orthodox and traditional priests.  There's another traditional priest in the diocese who's not attached to a parish, as well as a priest that offers the traditional Mass down in Motherwell.  Glasgow also has the, although not traditional Latin Mass, very sound and orthodox Passionists at Saint Mungo's that have confession every day.  Not to mention the Fraternity an hour away out in Edinburgh.
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#37
(09-06-2013, 03:08 PM)City Smurf Wrote:
Quote:ow some people  will say just refuse, Gods Will.... I am very sorry we are both living in very different environments I am afraid.

Well Chris I am a few years younger than you—I'll be 22 in a couple of months—but we are not from very different environments as I myself am from Glasgow, Scotland.  Or near enough, I'm in Paisley, but since I was born in Sunny Govan at the Sufferin' General, I get to claim Glaswegian status.  Though the Govan part, not with pride. :P

So I'll talk to you man to man, Catholic to Catholic, and most of all, Celtic man to Celtic man.  :LOL:

Mate, I know what it's like to be alone.  I was a lot like you, except harder on the drink, less so on the drugs.  I can imagine what your friends are like, I'm sure they're a lot like my own.  Into a lot of bad things, living immoral lives, but you know you could probably count on any one of them to have your back on a night out in the toon.  Went to primary and secondary school with them.  Ha, I even went to nursery with a couple of mine.  God gave me a great grace, however, in the form of a buggered up knee cap.  Some idiot swung at me, I fell, twisted my knee, really damaged the bone.  After that I couldn't run anymore, and if you're hanging out with certain crowds on the streets, well running can come in handy.  But for me, I couldn't do it anymore.  I couldn't run about playing footie with them, I couldn't run about the streets at night, getting up to things boys our age do in Glasgow.

After that I just stopped hanging about, and spent a lot of my time in the house, reading, and indulging in the more geekier aspects of my life.  I withdrew from the old crowd I used to hang around with.  A lot of them were good, loyal friends.  But I say God gave me a great grace because... I'd have ended up dying out there eventually.  Spiritually if not physically, though I suspect both.  There were girls, a lot, and the shame is crippling sometimes.  And I know what it's like dealing with a reputation.

It's been years since that was me, and although I've not been a perfect Catholic, I'm doing better because I'm not in that environment.  I'm engaged to a great Catholic girl from the states that I met over Facebook, and God willing I'll be emigrating next year.  But are you ready for something like that?  It seems you still have a lot going on in your head and around you.  Are you emotionally and spiritually able to commit to a relationship?  Are you in a good enough place to ask a woman to come along with you?  Would getting into a relationship at this moment in time be the best thing for you?

My advice would be to avoid a relationship right now.  You don't want your past experiences with women and your life as a whole, to get in the way of a happy relationship for the future.  If you're still struggling with alcohol and drugs and avoiding them, then work on that.  As for your friends.. honestly, the best thing to do is to just withdraw from it.  The bars and pubs are just going to be bad occasions for you.  It'll be hard and I know that from personal experience.  Do you work?  If not, get a job that keeps you occupied, preferably evening shifts!  Or go to college, even if you don't have a massive plan sorted for your future, go do an Access course at STOW that can open opportunities for you in the future, or even just to keep you occupied and away from things for a while.  Or collect a giro for a few turns and head up to Orkney on a retreat with the Redemptorists!  :LOL: There's plenty of things you can do to keep on track and move on from your past.

I know a good few traditional priests in Glasgow, that celebrate the traditional Latin Mass, are very orthodox and holy men.  There's a strong traditional community in the west where you can find friends and help.  There's even a few young guys about your age.  When was the last time you were at confession?  Do we, altogether, ever truly contemplate just how awesome and completely mind-blowing this Sacrament is?  In the confessional, at the words of your absolution, it's all just... gone.  The Most Precious Blood completely and utterly eradicates your sins.  God not only forgives, He forgets them too.  His love for us is just so.

Anyway I've rambled a little here.  If you'd like, feel free to send me a PM on the forum.  :)

God bless and may Our Blessed Lady intercede for you before the throne of His Mercy!


How do you know I'm a Celtic fan  :LOL: :LOL: 10 in a Row  :)
Thanks for you post mate, I can get everysingle thing you have said.
Well I think I am doing ok since I am sat on Fisheaters on a Friday night, although it does help when you have been barred from every pub and club in town tbh.
Congratulations with your relationship that is fantastic.
How did you meet ? Online ?
I think we have spoken before mate, I am actually from the Greenock area, don't worry I am not a Ton fan  :LOL:
I think you even offered me a lift at one time in the past, Thanks for that.
For the moment mate, I want to just take things slow. I mean I don't want to plan going to an SSPX Mass and do something stupid before it. I'm just not ready yet.
Yeah I don't have a job unfortunaly and if you know anything about Greenock you might be able to sympathise. Its a dump , don't hold back your hatred for the place being from Paisley  :LOL:
Really I feel at the moment ,my outlook is bleak, there is no light coming into my life from any angle.
My last confession Oh my Lord, atleast 2 years ago, I haven't received communion since. My last confession was on an A4 piece of paper never been so nervous in my life.
I will have to try and amend that soon I think.
Maybe I should start praying first , watch some Latin Mass.
Then make a date for confession that take it from there I think., See how it goes.
And Lets hope Celtic get 2nd or 3rd in the CL Group. Hail Hail   :grin:

Ave Maria
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#38
(09-06-2013, 03:15 PM)dark lancer Wrote: If you absolutely must seek a relationship with a Catholic woman, I think you should plainly state up front what your past was like before the relationship begins.

What if you cant remember most of it ?
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#39
(09-06-2013, 03:40 PM)Chris87 Wrote:
(09-06-2013, 03:15 PM)dark lancer Wrote: If you absolutely must seek a relationship with a Catholic woman, I think you should plainly state up front what your past was like before the relationship begins.

What if you cant remember most of it ?

You don't have to give a heavily detailed account.  Just make it clear that you've had many women in the past, were on drugs, and did time in prison.
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#40
the one thing you have to be specific and detailed about, chris, is any std's you might have (as well as diseases like hepatitis c, etc.).  your future wife absolutely needs to know that.  it is her right. 
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