A Single Post That Explains Why Toxic Trads Are Not Welcome Here
(10-27-2013, 11:35 PM)christulsa123 Wrote:
(10-27-2013, 11:16 PM)Chestertonian Wrote:
(10-27-2013, 02:11 PM)christulsa123 Wrote: YOU MIGHT BE A TOXIC TRAD IF:

You insist on Chestertonian styles of dress and behavior for men.

Well, obviously... if you all don't dress like me and wear sweatpants everyday you're all going to hell

Do you smoke a pipe?

I do, on occassion.
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(10-27-2013, 11:35 PM)christulsa123 Wrote:
(10-27-2013, 11:16 PM)Chestertonian Wrote:
(10-27-2013, 02:11 PM)christulsa123 Wrote: YOU MIGHT BE A TOXIC TRAD IF:

You insist on Chestertonian styles of dress and behavior for men.

Well, obviously... if you all don't dress like me and wear sweatpants everyday you're all going to hell

Do you smoke a pipe?

Not in years
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(10-27-2013, 11:14 PM)HailGilbert Wrote: (snip

[html] That includes my Dad, who isn't formally diagnosed but has a lot of the symptoms. His verbal and emotional abuse of me when I was growing up - especially when he was drunk - broke my spirit. It is still broken today. Our relationship, since I moved out, is much, much better but the pain and anger towards him remains in the background.[/html]

(snip about Aspergers, Type 2 diabetes and resulting neuropathy and sleeplessness, propensity toward alcoholism but not indulging (though craving sweets)

And since late July, when I had a CT scan, ultrasound and MRI scan done on me, I was told I have arthritis in my lower back. And it only adds to my pain and anger. 

Hail Gilibert from  an earlier post Wrote:As you know, I have those mental illnesses that I can't stop complaining about, now added with type 2 diabetes, neuropathy and recently arthritis. I get easily discouraged and depressed and hate suffering, especially now. I don't trust any priest to be a spiritual director for me, for I don't know if they are orthodox or modernist. And I don't go to Mass or Confession for I'm angry toward Jesus for permitting me to be this way from all Eternity - and not even telling me why on my level of understanding.

I complain and beg and plead Him once a day, every day, to cure me first and nothing happens. How can I trust Him if He won't do this? 

From Hail Gilbert from  an earlier post Wrote:Thank you in advance for your prayers and good wishes. To me, though, His sending me crosses are not acts of love but abandonment. If I'm not going to be healed in this life, then I'd rather be dead and soon. Why? It tells me Jesus doesn't love me enough to apply the merits of His sufferings and death on the Cross to heal me in this life. And in turn, it tells me He doesn't love me enough - period. ..

(snip
... If He won't cure me, then He doesn't love me.

From Hail Gilbert from an earlier post Wrote:I don't want to be a victim soul. It means I'm being picked on and bullied again like when I was a child and teenager.

From Hail Gilbert in an earlier post Wrote:don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. Otherwise, I'm not a man but a sub-human freak, not loved enough to be cured but to be treated like a punching bag in a boxers gym. And who really loves a punching bag?

So long as He keeps allowing me to be broken, mentally and physically, He is hurting me. How can I love Him 100% when He keeps allowing me to be in pain and mentally ill? Please keep praying for me so I don't go to Hell after death and stop running from Him in this life. thank you in advance.

From Hail Gilbert in an earlier post Wrote:Then I leave it. He doesn't love me enough.  Cry(

So much comes to my mind putting all these posts together. First is that you naturally (MOST people do this!) sort of take on an emotional response to God, Our Father, that's flavored by the relationship you had/have with your natural father. And, barring supernatural grace, I don't think this -- or you, mentally speaking, will be healed until you've truly and deeply grieved and dealt with the anger over the way your Dad abused you.

"Trust" and "abandonment" and "not being loved" are recurring themes when you talk about how you feel about Our Heavenly Father. I'm sure you know intellectually that God the Father isn't your Dad, and that God is Infinite Love and All Good, etc. -- but because you haven't really worked through the ANGER and the PAIN, the GRIEF of what your Dad did to you, you're stuck in the same pain and rage that's plagued you since you were a little boy, and this pain and rage gets in the way of your trusting God as a Father.

Your Dad abused you and emotionally abandoned you. He failed to emotionally affirm you. You say he "broke" your spirirt, and you refer often to that brokenness, to feeling like a freak and a punching bag, to seeing your various issues and medical conditions more as punishments or as a sign of -- well, betrayal on the part of our Heavenly Father,  just like your Dad betrayed you by not doing for you what he should have done for you.

You have every right in the world to feel anger and pain over your Dad's failures to give you what you needed and, as a little, innocent boy, deserved. You'd be abnormal if you didn't feel those things! But you have to find a way to work through them  and -- ultimately, FORGIVE him. Not just in mere words, but from the heart, relying on Christ and the Sacraments to help you do that.

I'm not at all disregarding your other medical issues, but my sense is that THIS is what's at the root of the vast majority of your psychic PAIN. You have go get to the place of forgiving your Dad -- but you have to allow yourself to FEEL -- with someone else who will HEAR you -- what he did to you, and to get angry about it, and then get sad about it (or vice versa, as the case may be), and then come to hand it over to Jesus.

I really, really, so pray that you find yourself a good Catholic counselor or spiritual director who will walk you through this and help you navigate what was done to you, help you look at it dead in the eye and rage against it and cry about it so you can get it OUT of you and get to the forgiving and healing. The pain in you is so obvious and so deep, Gilbert. You deserve better than this. You CAN do better than this. But it will start with prayer, be filled with WORK, and end in forgiveness and grace. Then, I intuit, you will be free and can actually be HAPPY -- even in spite of arthritis and neuropathy, etc.. Please think about this.

God bless, G.

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(10-25-2013, 05:22 PM)John64 Wrote:
(10-25-2013, 12:43 PM)In nomine Patris Wrote: I too have noticed the stand-offish attitude of many, not all, but many trads, to the point of being on the cusp of "unfriendly". My wife, who had never been to the TLM before we married, also commented on this. Kind of turned her off on the TLM, I am working on getting her to go back. Its almost like they (some) think THEY possess the truth, and YOU better listen to them. Mind you, some not all. Its like they forgot what Jesus said, "judge not lest ye be judged". The local N.O. people are much more friendly, more down to earth types, and this has not gone unnoticed to her. So, in her mind, guess what conclusion she has come to?

I've noticed this behavior at my diocese only Latin community.  I've also gotten many cold receptions and dirty looks..... As someone fairly new to the Tradional movement it really surprised me and disappointed me. Lately I quit doing the long drive and go to the local NO service on Saturday evening and participate in the live mass online on Sunday mornings at Christ the King Catholic church.

I'd wanted to respond to this but got sidetracked, finding it again when I was looking for a post I made that I had to make a correction to.

John, I really pray you reconsider going back to the TLM and bringing as many souls with you as you can. We simply can NOT allow the Toxic Trads to take over our parishes and chapels by their glares and dirty looks. They run us out, then they WIN, and the traditional Catholic "movement" is lost.

A parish or a chapel (like an internet forum) is what the people who are there make it. If you want a warm, charitable TLM parish with sound doctrine coming from the pulpit, then show up and BE the type of person you wish there were more of there. It has to start somewhere. Truly. We have to MAKE the changes we want to see. If not us, then who?

There's this idea in philosophy, from Kant (whom I know nothing about otherwise; I'm not a trained philosopher) called the "categorical imperative." It goes something like, "Act in such a way that if what you are doing were being done by all men, it would make things better."  OK, I looked it up and found the original formulation at Wiki: "Act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law."  So imagine if all the decent trads were to allow the nastiness of the Toxic Trads to run them off. We'd be doomed.

(And for others, please, if you'd been run out of this place by Toxic Trads, first know most are gone and I will do my best to keep them gone, and second, if all the good folks leave, there'd be few places for normal trads to get together and have a place on the internet to just BE. If you want a lively, warm forum with lots of laffs and great articles and beautiful art, then BE that poster who makes that sort of thing happen. Please. It all has to start somewhere! And I will try to do a much better job in keeping the Toxics OUTTA here... )



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"John64" Wrote:I've noticed this behavior at my diocese only Latin community.  I've also gotten many cold receptions and dirty looks..... As someone fairly new to the Tradional movement it really surprised me and disappointed me. Lately I quit doing the long drive and go to the local NO service on Saturday evening and participate in the live mass online on Sunday mornings at Christ the King Catholic church.
I think it might be a coincidence. Since I started to attend our diocesan TLM, nobody at all talked to me before or after the mass and nobody was staring at me. Which is pretty OK for me, as I'm not the socialising type. Also I see new faces every Sunday. Maybe at SSPX or, say, SSPV chapels it's different as they're more hermetic, but I wonder, actually, why should it be so.
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(10-27-2013, 11:16 PM)Chestertonian Wrote:
(10-27-2013, 02:11 PM)christulsa123 Wrote: YOU MIGHT BE A TOXIC TRAD IF:

You insist on Chestertonian styles of dress and behavior for men.

Well, obviously... if you all don't dress like me and wear sweatpants everyday you're all going to hell

HERESY ;P
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(10-27-2013, 10:02 PM)Vox Clamantis Wrote:
(10-27-2013, 09:27 PM)JuniorCouncilor Wrote: Just thought I'd drop in to say I highly approve of the replacement of 'rad trad' with 'toxic trad'.  I generally consider myself a 'rad trad', and consider that a good thing.

But then, my mother always said I was very contrary.

Hey, JuniorCouncilor! Been a while! Good to see you :)

Yeah, I am glad folks talked me out of that.

Me too.  Rad trad must always maintain its appropriate meaning:

[Image: rad-kid-demotivational-poster-1213049477.jpg]
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(10-27-2013, 11:14 PM)HailGilbert Wrote: I inherited the Type 2 Diabetes from my late Mom's side of the family nearly 5 years ago. She never had it, but three of her sisters died from complications due to it. I also now suffer diabetic neuropathy in my feet and sometimes the legs. I rarely sleep more than three or four hours a night now. Usually I get one or two hours at a stretch, when the normal body needs seven to eight hours of sleep.

This seems like such a small offering compared to what you're facing but a few people I know have had great success using Blue Emu on their feet for neuropathy. Both that and magnesium oil will help you sleep through the night which is so needed when you're fighting such physical battles. Magnesium oil is amazing for all kinds of pain. Use it during the day but especially at night to help you get more sleep naturally.

http://www.amazon.com/Nfi-Consumer-Products-Blue-emu-Strength/dp/B00027C9DM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382975125&sr=8-1&keywords=blue+emu

http://www.amazon.com/Ancient-Minerals-Ultra-Pure-Magnesium/dp/B001AD0HL8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382975192&sr=8-1&keywords=magnesium+oil

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LOL @ SaintSebastian! That pic is really great :)
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(10-28-2013, 11:47 AM)SaintSebastian Wrote: [Image: rad-kid-demotivational-poster-1213049477.jpg]

How did you get your hands on my childhood photo?
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