The Experiences of Homosexual Trads
(02-26-2014, 05:56 PM)Papist Wrote: I have considered myself a Trad for a while now, but I actually attend a Byzantine Catholic Church. I have also struggled with SSA since I can remember, and my experience is diverse. For the most part, I keep my SSA to myself, and only really share it in anonymous venues like this one.

Why is that the case, Papist? Is it because you just don't care to mention it, consider it a private struggle for the most part, etc., or because of fear of being judged, or -- ?

(02-26-2014, 05:56 PM)Papist Wrote: However, I have had several very orthodox Catholic friends come right out and ask me if I struggled with SSA (apparently I'm not Mr. Macho Man, though some interpret that as me being a geek). I was close enough to these individuals so that I felt comfortable sharing information about my struggles with them (of course it was not graphic sharing). These good friends offered no judgment, but only love and encouraged me to continuing living a chaste life in Christ.

Well, whadyaknow? Real live Christians!

(02-26-2014, 05:56 PM)Papist Wrote: However, there are other individuals who have been more hostile, particularly some of the posters who were purged from this forum last summer. It seems that these people defined how traditional they were based on how weired out they were by gay people. I'll never understand that. Yet, I'm not that wimp who was hurt by this. I actually felt sorry for these people because it seemed like they had missed the entire point of the gospel. Being a trad is not about being a jerk, it's about living the historic Catholic faith, in service to Christ, pure and undiluted.

A big good riddance to those people. We're all sinners, but some folks have malice in them, which, to me, is on a totally different level of evil than folks stumbling with regard to addiction, sexual desire, etc. While I won't judge the souls of those folks either, I'd guess that Christ looks at malice as worse than, say, an alcoholic getting drunk one night after years on the wagon. When one of the Two Great Commandments is "love your neighbor, it seems a pretty obvious thing to me.

Anyway, I'm sorry you and others (and I, for that matter) had to deal with that crap. Banning the lot of the "toxic trad types" was a good thing, and I think the forum has been MUCH better off since then.

(02-26-2014, 05:56 PM)Papist Wrote: One of the interesting things I often hear is that a struggle with SSA is just like any other struggle with the virtue of chastity; yet, I would argue to the contrary. People who have a healthy heterosexual orientation, for the most part, can get married and work out their salvation in a life of companionship. True, that life has its difficulties, but it is a natural state of affairs. As God himself said, "It is not good that he should be alone." Even those heterosexuals who do not marry can become priests, and yes this comes with its own struggles, but it is certainly a life of meaning.

Both of these doors are closed to those who struggle with SSA, and it is very easy to succumb to the temptation to despair of a meaningful life. Yes, we must keep in mind our supernatural end, but it is quite a struggle. Though, I keep in mind, that the great the cross, the greater the reward.

While it's true that marriage and the priesthood are closed to homosexuals, it's also true -- especially in this culture -- that decent spouses are hard to find. And spouses can dump you, leaving you in the same situation homosexuals are in. Or they die (and women after the age of 40 are not very likely to find another spouse). All of this I'm saying to just point out that there are lots of straight people in the situation of being sexual beings, young and vibrant, wanting sexual intimacy -- but unable to express their love for another in a sexual way. There are, undoubtedly, a lot more of them numerically than there are homosexuals in that same boat. But it is so, too, as you say, that the hope could always be there (e.g., maybe the spouse who dumped you dies, or you're one of the few women whom men hit on after the age of 30 :P )

Your last paragraph is really sad to me and makes me want to repeat something I've said before on this forum (many times, after all these years):  the old school way of veritably pushing folks into marriage or a monastery/seminary was bad, and there are some trads who still think that way (a small sub-set, thank God). There is room in the world for all the folks who don't have religious or priestly vocations, who aren't called to marriage, who might think they're called to marriage but can't find a spouse, etc. Maybe one thing the Church could do is talk more about the single life and ways of making the celibate life as meaningful and as rich as possible. There are sooooo many things that the single can do that folks with families, or the religious, don't have the time to do, for ex. Maybe we need a "Singles Club" (but with a better name so it doesn't sound like a dating club) for straight folks and homosexuals and whoever who are committed to chastity and who want to engage in service to others, maybe evangelize in the streets together, or do random acts of kindness in the Name of Jesus together. In addition to helping set up volunteer stuff, it could also act as a sub-community of the Church for celibate, non-ordained/non-religious folks to get together and socialize, have some fun, and have each others' backs spiritually. (Man, I wish I had a bigger house (with a kitchen) and some money! I'd SO start something like this in my home!)

In any case, don't despair about not having a meaningful life just because you can't marry or become a priest! There's so, SO much you can do! Your being single frees you up to do a lot of things folks with kids just can't because kids are such a "time-suck"! Being single can be seen as a gift in that way!


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Re: The Experiences of Homosexual Trads - by VoxClamantis - 02-26-2014, 08:02 PM

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