The Experiences of Homosexual Trads
#13
(02-26-2014, 08:27 PM)Heorot Wrote: Thank you for this thread and your appeal to charity, Vox. What a beautiful statement you made in that large paragraph about all races and peoples. Truly, we are called by name by Christ, regardless of our sins. He came to be sacrificed and resurrected for the glory of the Father, that our worthless little human glorifications, tinged by sin, might become truly mighty praises offered in a deserving manner to the God of Hosts. That sacrifice continues daily, hourly, across the world for all us unworthy sinners.

Amen to that!

(02-26-2014, 08:27 PM)Heorot Wrote: I am very ambivalent about the attitude that most people - gay, straight, traditionalist, liberal - take in this matter. If we're going to have a "gay trads" thread, why not have "trads who love legs", "trads who love backsides", and "trads who love breasts" threads? That is very crude, but it illustrates a conviction I always had, even as an atheist: our sexual attractions are not us. Having a fetish for legs or other parts of the female body, in straight men, is just as twisted as having a fetish for members of the same sex. One distorts the humanity of the female he is attracted to, and the other distorts the image of God in what he is attracted to, by shifting it to members of his own sex.

One reason that readily comes to mind is that there aren't fetishist activists wanting to re-define marriage or push information about their fetishes into the heads of 6 year olds. Homosexualist activists (which, again, I totally distinguish from mere homosexuals) are a force that needs to be confronted and dealt with.

Another reason is that a "trad who loves breasts," say, can get married to a woman with big boobs, have kids, etc., and so on. Homosexuals most likely won't have the entire option of becoming family men (or priests) open to them.

A third reason is that some homosexuals have some rather (at least stereotypically) feminine interests and behaviors, or artistic or more "sensitive" approaches to things, which lead to their being bullied and called "fag" and all that while growing up, thereby sort of "forcing" them to stick together and become activists to some degree out of self-preservation. And others, while not being "fey" in any way, will have their lack of interest in women questioned, etc., which leads to the bullying, etc., which leads to a natural desire to engage in some level of activism. The Westboro people, for ex., show that some folks just don't like homosexuals and will be vicious toward them, and when that attitude exists, I think it's understandable for a homosexual to want to fight against it (I mean, I'm not gay and even I want to fight it).

A fourth reason is that there are more homosexuals out there (I believe, anyway) than there is any single group of fetishists, and I think that with all the fatherless homes we have now, there will be an explosion in the number of homosexuals within the next 10 years or so. I'd bet money on it. IOW, we're talking about a rather sizeable minority of the population, and I want folks with this problem to be able to be honest about who they are (if that's what they want) and to be loved and helped and led to Christ.

(02-26-2014, 08:27 PM)Heorot Wrote: Anyway, this thread is a good opportunity, so I should not disparage it!

I am 25, male, a little overweight, with glasses, and a full but short beard. Broad shoulders. Not immediately obvious as one to be trifled with, or a stereotypical ponce or fruit. I wear polo shirts casually and a full suit & tie when I go to church. I am quiet, intellectual, melancholic, and INFJ. I am a ridiculously excitable person in the realm of sexuality, but that probably just comes with youth. I draw architectural drafts while dreaming of restoring Romanesque and Classical styles to Catholic churches, and help with English-language tutoring for Italians in this area. I despise the gay lifestyle and think it is entirely from Satan. Due to extreme depression and anxiety throughout my teenage years, however, I never left the house much, so I was never drawn into the Lifestyle. There's a gay bar in this city, but it might as well have been 3000 miles away. Thanks be to God.

I'd say I am a trad, but I live in a place where there are no licit 1962 Masses celebrated for more than 100 miles in every direction. I've enver heard a novus ordo priest say anything overtly accepting of homosexuality, gay marriage, or whatever. They do get ambiguous, saying we need to accept everyone, love everyone, etc., with all the abandonment of Catholic teaching which that style of speech can imply. This is a very boring, usual liberal diocese with not-particularly-holy Masses, but nothing particularly wild either. I basically just feel lost and empty here... but it's better than being in a den of iniquity like San Francisco or a pit of heresy like Amsterdam. I long for the reverent Mass, the Mass that has content. Sometimes I wonder if it's due to the innate psychological tendencies to melodrama, ballet, and showing-off. I fully admit that all gay men have this interest - the Oxford movement was filled with homosexuals, effeminate men, and pederasts. They loved the hangings and incense and flowers and bells and colours.

A good percentage of homosexuals have really good taste LOL

(02-26-2014, 08:27 PM)Heorot Wrote: I believe male homosexuality (or, better, same-sex attractions) is caused by neglect, abuse, a distant father, loneliness, and emptiness. One simply does not grow up properly when under constant anxiety, which causes self-obsession, which leads to a sense of brokenness and entitlement. That feeling of being broken leads to you looking at other gay men (who are similarly psychologically broken) and, instead of seeing the image of God, seeing your own self. You attach to them, and almost want to comfort and embrace your own self in them. Genetic causes will never be found for homosexuality. It's all about not having becoming a man, in the ethical and virtuous sense... and that can be traced to a relationship with the father and mother. Nurture, not nature! We all sin in our fallen nature, but particular sins are formed by the way we live.

I agree with you. Well, I take that back to a degree:  I think they can find genetic causes of, for ex., sensitivity, a poetic nature, a non-sports-addict type of person. But I think it's nurture that acts on a person born with those genetic propensities (which aren't gay in themselves) -- say the distant father -- and causes the kid to come to eroticize his struggle to identify with the masculine.

(02-26-2014, 08:27 PM)Heorot Wrote: My great desire is to be a religious and/or priest of any kind. Franciscan, Dominican, Carthusian, diocesan, clerk, canon - anything sacred. I have lately seen that this is actually a wish to break free from the smothering feeling of being useless, worthless, and pointless as a "fag". Having had these exclusively-male-directed urges since I was 11 years old, my whole adolescence and adulthood has been formed by them. I have given up impurity, and would never go anywhere near a gay man who looked at me in a queer fashion. I have zero attraction to boys, and would never act on such attractions anyway. It doesn't look as if I'd ever be able to apply to become a seminarian or brother in good conscience, however, as the Church has always been very clear about the emotional and spiritual state required for that.

Since I have no interest in women and hate dishonesty, I cannot force myself to marry. Along with Papist, I've pretty much come to accept that I'll be a pointless, useless lay-person, celibate and alone, for the rest of my life. That is how I see it when I am in darkness. When in the light of joy and hope, I know that I can never be alone if I am in the state of grace - and even if I am not, Christ is still creating me and sending forth His Spirit to keep me in existence. Praise God. There is so much more to life than sexuality.

I want to grab you and hug you so hard right now. Oh, my gosh.. You are NOT "useless, worthless, or pointless" -- "even as" a homosexual. No! Oh, no, no, no, Heorot! You are a beloved child of God Himself, adopted son of the Father through the grace of Christ! You are so loved that if you could feel it, you'd die of it! God most certainly has plans for you. You must believe this -- trust in this. Trust in Jesus. Make yourself of service to others -- especially if you can do it in a way that uses any special gifts you might have (drawing, teaching, etc.) Teach RCIA classes! Write a blog to help other homosexual Catholics! Become a teacher! Or do the old "soup kitchen routine" to serve others. You are here to love God and love others. That's what ALL of us are here to do, whether we're married or priests or single. You just have to find your way of doing that the best way you can, that's all. That's what we ALL have to do! We're not so different! I'm a 51-year old, broke-ass, bipolar woman who got dumped -- and I SMOKE. Ya know? We are legion, folks like you and me! We're fine -- or, if we're not right at the moment, we will be, can be! And if we have bad days or nights sometimes -- well, that's what friends are for.

MAN do I really want to start that "club" thing now... Sheesh!



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Re: The Experiences of Homosexual Trads - by VoxClamantis - 02-26-2014, 09:15 PM



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