The Experiences of Homosexual Trads
#22
Thank you, Papist. You probably have a healthy vision of vocation, faith, human dignity, and the grace of God, however. I'm not so sure many "gays" do.

As I see it, there are two sorts of SSA-sufferers when it comes to a vocation: those who slither into the priesthood, and those who remain outside in loneliness and purposelessness all their lives. We can become altar servers, sacristans, artists, writers, and a million other things... but we can never be the ones who offer the sacrifice, nor baptize, nor confirm, nor do anything that literally brings grace to souls. This burns me, personally. Even husband and wife are instrumental in getting their child baptized, and so act as co-priests, co-deliverers of grace, in a very distant but still very intimate fashion.

What exactly is the point of life without marriage or ordination? This is the big question of many Catholics who suffer SSA, I think. Some answer it by despair and do nothing, some answer it by abandoning their faith and entering a relationship with another man, some answer it by demanding "gay marriage", some answer it by sneaking into the priesthood, some answer it by finding a wife and pretending they're straight... and some just commit suicide.

I can't see any purpose to my life if it is lived in useless lonesomeness. Maybe I am even angry at God, without realizing it? Having SSA is hard enough, but crippling anxiety, OCD, and depression make life hell. I can't really even provide for myself, because of the emotional and spiritual pain. "Philosophy doctorate? Please! What use does God have for someone who isn't married, a priest, or straight?" I don't mean to put you down, Papist, but I believe this is the dilemma that goes through the heads of many who want to be faithful Catholics. Somehow, painting churches, writing stories, composing religious poems, debating philosophy, and going to Mass... it just doesn't seem like it's the full life of grace that celibate men can and should be participating in.

Anyway, sorry...
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Re: The Experiences of Homosexual Trads - by Heorot - 02-26-2014, 11:36 PM



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