The Experiences of Homosexual Trads
(03-01-2014, 03:39 AM)jhfromsf68 Wrote: Thank you for having this important discussion on the forum. As someone with ssa who's trying to be a faithful Catholic, the problem I have is sometimes I get resentful that I'm forced to live a chaste celibate life. For a priest or religious this vocation is self chosen after much thought and prayer. If during discernment they decide they don't have a vocation to be a priest or religious, they can find a opposite sex partner and fall in love and have sex and romantic companionship for the rest of their lives.  On the other hand the traditional Catholic homosexual who wants to be faithful to the Church and her teachings won't pursue being a priest or religious because they know it would be wrong and they probably wouldn't get married to an opposite sex partner because the lack of attraction or interest for the opposite sex and they also would not seek out a same sex partner because of the sinfulness that are involved in those relationships. That doesn't leave to many more options other than be a single chaste celibate lay person rather you want to be or not. Your vocation has already been chosen for you. And I don't think to many heterosexual Catholics really understand the issue because it doesn't affect them personally. They get to marry and have companionship and sex and romance. And there's where my resentment comes in. I try not to let it get to me and I try to remember that God has given me this wonderful gift of the Catholic faith and he has a special plan for my life. And sometimes I wonder if a chaste celibate life actually has its benefits in helping you get to heaven.

According to St. Paul, a chaste celibate life is the most perfect way of living. But I totally hear you when you talk of your lack of choice in the matter. Just know, though, that there are, undoubtedly, many more (numerically speaking) straight people who also don't have a real choice and are "consigned" to a life of chaste celibacy.  Religious orders and seminaries won't accept folks with mental issues, health problems, debt, etc., and marriage nowadays is a very iffy proposition in that it's hard to come by a spouse in the first place, and then, if you are blessed enough to find one, you can always get dumped and are left with nothing but sexual continence for the rest of your life (unless the former spouse dies).

I say all this NOT to belittle your pain, but just to let you know that you share it with lots of straight people, too. You're not alone in maybe wanting the religious life or ordination and finding it closed to you, or wanting sexual intimacy and finding that a moral impossibility, also.

What's different, as I see things, is how folks treat others in the exact same situations with the only difference being that some are attracted to the same sex, and others are thrust into chaste celibacy, for whatever reasons, while straight. I think most Catholics can feel empathy toward, say, a nice married man who got dumped by a crazy wife -- but when it comes to folks with SSA, who in the end, are in the same sort of position when it comes to vocation, some folks are all "Why do you have to talk about that?" or "why do you want to 'identify' yourself by your SSA?" or they make assumptions, etc., etc.


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Re: The Experiences of Homosexual Trads - by VoxClamantis - 03-01-2014, 04:03 AM

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