Why the Big Whoop-dee-do About The Pill
#11
(03-23-2014, 01:48 PM)PrairieMom Wrote:
(03-22-2014, 02:33 PM)MeredithA Wrote: I am glad I am not allowed to contracept. there is nothing, NOTHING, more intimate than a couple who communicates their needs, whether it be "Hey, how 'bout a little..." to "Now is not OK and this is why so let's just snuggle." It is also heartbreaking to have your husband/wife not listen/ignore, that is not a marriage.I think there is a truly great loss that couples just don't see because people are too busy trying to make contraception OK.

I think there is too much wrong teaching about it. It IS a Big Deal. To teach a man how to treat a woman, we all think it's opening doors for her, all that, but we hardly ever hear about how important it is to listen to the body's signals.

I am reminded of a common lament from women who might be interested in stopping hormonal birth control (a class-one carcinogen, by the way) to learn NFP. They say that if they start refusing sexual advances from their husbands because it's their fertile phase, their husbands would probably divorce them.

All I can think (but rarely say, as I don't know how to say it compassionately and charitably) is, "Honey, if he's gonna leave you over that there are far, far bigger problems you need to address within your marriage then how frequently you get to have sex."

Yeah. They do have bigger problems. Like, communication.
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#12
(03-24-2014, 12:01 AM)MeredithA Wrote: I am trying to NOT dump the blame, as you say, on my boys. It is that attitude that "women control it" that I had to UN-do from their heads. (Public school "Family Life.") I hope I have expressed to my now 18 yr old daughter how to listen to her body, and teaching my boys that it is wrong to make such degrading comments to women: She's bitchy 'cause it's her cycle, etc.

I think we are talking about 2 different things. Most boys are brainwashed by conservatives and liberals alike that women control sex. I wasn't talking about menstrual symptoms. That brings up a good point though. We don't teach boys about girls' bodies very well, but even more so important we don't teach them about girls emotionally. I remember growing up from both parents and teachers the subject of boys understanding girls quickly got reduced to "you're a guy you wouldn't understand." Well yeah no duh since no one wants to say diddly squat, I had no sister growing up, and mom was pretty quiet on that stuff. Thankfully I had a few decent honest friends that were girls and weren't of the "you're a guy you'll never understand" types. I think in many ways women are afraid of being figured out because they loose the Wizard of Oz act curtain.

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#13
(03-24-2014, 01:36 AM)divinesilence80 Wrote:
(03-24-2014, 12:01 AM)MeredithA Wrote: I am trying to NOT dump the blame, as you say, on my boys. It is that attitude that "women control it" that I had to UN-do from their heads. (Public school "Family Life.") I hope I have expressed to my now 18 yr old daughter how to listen to her body, and teaching my boys that it is wrong to make such degrading comments to women: She's bitchy 'cause it's her cycle, etc.

I think we are talking about 2 different things. Most boys are brainwashed by conservatives and liberals alike that women control sex. I wasn't talking about menstrual symptoms. That brings up a good point though. We don't teach boys about girls' bodies very well, but even more so important we don't teach them about girls emotionally. I remember growing up from both parents and teachers the subject of boys understanding girls quickly got reduced to "you're a guy you wouldn't understand." Well yeah no duh since no one wants to say diddly squat, I had no sister growing up, and mom was pretty quiet on that stuff. Thankfully I had a few decent honest friends that were girls and weren't of the "you're a guy you'll never understand" types. I think in many ways women are afraid of being figured out because they loose the Wizard of Oz act curtain.
I figured you weren't, that was just the 1st thing that came to mind to get my point across! Our boys really do need to be taught how to treat women, it is OK if men "never" understand us, they still need to be taught.
Thankfully I had a few decent honest friends that were girls and weren't of the "you're a guy you'll never understand" types. I think in many ways women are afraid of being figured out because they loose the Wizard of Oz act curtain.

You were lucky.
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#14
(03-25-2014, 10:03 PM)MeredithA Wrote: I figured you weren't, that was just the 1st thing that came to mind to get my point across! Our boys really do need to be taught how to treat women, it is OK if men "never" understand us, they still need to be taught.

Men have been figuring out complex problems and understanding God's creation from the moment we took our first breath of air. We've built and understood the complexity of rockets and living in space. We've brought medical research to where it is largely without women although there have been many contributions by ladies. It is our tinkering and minds however that have given birth to a majority of innovation. Figuring women out is a heck of a lot easier than making a rocket take off from a launch pad, orbit the Earth, and bringing the passengers home safely again. I think the culture of femininity needs to get off its high horse and stop acting like women are goddesses whose "ways are above men's ways." Humility goes a long way!

(03-25-2014, 10:03 PM)MeredithA Wrote: Thankfully I had a few decent honest friends that were girls and weren't of the "you're a guy you'll never understand" types. I think in many ways women are afraid of being figured out because they loose the Wizard of Oz act curtain.

You were lucky.

Yes, I was lucky but no one should have to rely on luck. Also, I think women need to put a check on their tone when they start these conversations. Too often these "talks" women give to men / boys sound more like punitive lectures and a highlight of our failings. Put yourself in a guys shoes. Would you like being lectured by a guy how awful you are? My guess, from the way I'm perceived around here, most women would emphatically say "no!" Well, do unto others right? Let's not approach boys with the spirit of suspicion that I see happen all too often.
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#15
(03-25-2014, 10:18 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote:
(03-25-2014, 10:03 PM)MeredithA Wrote: I figured you weren't, that was just the 1st thing that came to mind to get my point across! Our boys really do need to be taught how to treat women, it is OK if men "never" understand us, they still need to be taught.

Men have been figuring out complex problems and understanding God's creation from the moment we took our first breath of air. We've built and understood the complexity of rockets and living in space. We've brought medical research to where it is largely without women although there have been many contributions by ladies. It is our tinkering and minds however that have given birth to a majority of innovation. Figuring women out is a heck of a lot easier than making a rocket take off from a launch pad, orbit the Earth, and bringing the passengers home safely again. I think the culture of femininity needs to get off its high horse and stop acting like women are goddesses whose "ways are above men's ways." Humility goes a long way!
id say figuring out women isn't an engineering problem.  man has been able to build wonders of the world and fly to the moon... we are understanding how the brain works like never before, but will we ever understand the human condition?  no, only God can, because it is He who made us.  until we are in Heaven with the Beatific Vision, the opposite sex will always be a bit of a mystery as will be the entire human condition.
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#16
I've met Dr Newton who wrote this and he is an excellent chap. An Englishman too!
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