Men: What Do You Wish Women Really Understood About Men?
#11
I wish my mother would understand that I do not appreciate saccharine things, and I don't like to get all "cuddly and emotional." What is more, I don't like it when she uses baby talk to speak to me. My mom is a wonderful person, very wonderful, but she is almost 98% emotion, and has trouble understanding people whose a emotions take a lower percentage of their personalities.
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#12


Very interesting responses so far.. More, please? 

I think our society is at a big ole fork in the road when it comes to the relations between the sexes. Sooooooooooooooooo much is so very, very messed up. Among The Pill, the porn mentality on the part of both sexes, the incessant male-bashing, the laws that put men under the collective thumb of women, the backlash mentality and straight-out misogyny on the part of too many men because of the former -- we're in BIG HEAP TROUBLE... And I want this stuff fixed before we end up with more Elliot Rodgers and more women who hit the age of 40 and find themselves alone with cats while desperately wanting love, the same as men want love.

The better the sexes understand each other, the better off we'll all be. We here, as a group, have a leg up on all this because we are, most of us, Catholic and have -- or should have, anyway -- a deep respect for the sex opposite to ours. But still, we've been raised in this era, exposed to the same pop culture crap, have had our minds stained by it all, and, for the men among us, have to withstand Court systems that basically treat men as walking wallets who are unimportant as human beings and as fathers.

The ultimate goal would be to change the system in a big way (change the unjust mariage/divorce/child support laws; not expect men to pay for children born out of wedlock,  thereby giving to women all the fruits of marriage while expecting none of the sacrifices -- which makes marriage superfluous for women and something too easily walked away from  --  and demanding nothing but sacrifices from men while giving them none of the benefits; eliminating abortion (at the State level, in the US, where such things should be handled); outlawing artificial contraceptives or, at least, outlawing it for the unmarried; spread the Gospel and teach even on a secular level the importance of modesty and chastity, etc.) But until then, the very least we can do is to get the sexes TALKING.

What's going on between men and women really, really bothers me. It bothers me a LOT. I have a grandson who has to grow up in this beautiful world that's been made crappy by legislators and the "gatekeepers of culture" who have no inkling of the concept of the Kingship of Christ. And I'm terrified. I was extremely bothered by this even before he was born, but now it's really personal.

So, let's talk, you guys. Help women understand you (it should be obvious that the "you" pertains to men in general, and vice versa when we talk of "women"). Even if you have to go over the limit of the "three things" I asked for in the original post, talk to us. Lay it all out.

How bad do you think the situation between the sexes is now? What do you see as the main problems? What can feasibly be done to make things better?

 
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#13
(05-29-2014, 04:51 AM)Vox Clamantis Wrote: What can feasibly be done to make things better?

have healthy families.  if your marriage isn't healthy, get counseling, talk to your priest and do what you have to do to heal your marriage.  Treat your spouse well, whether you're male or female.  Show your kids how the sexes are supposed to get along by example.  You can't control the legal system or the government but you can control yourself and the way you relate to others.
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#14
(05-29-2014, 04:51 AM)Vox Clamantis Wrote: ........
How bad do you think the situation between the sexes is now? What do you see as the main problems? What can feasibly be done to make things better? 

How bad? Hmm....well....imagine dangling over a volcano with a rope slowly burning by sparks that fly out of a lava vent every so often with no one in sight for 1000's of miles. Perhaps a bit dramatic, but the #1 issue is ego. Too many men and women subscribe to the collective male and female ego respectively. Men these days are plain old lost souls scratching their head wondering what happened and women these days perceive everything as a slighting (institutionalized victimhood). If a man wakes up happy and a woman doesn't it's sexism in these eyes of women. If a man wakes up miserable and a woman is happy he's oppressing all womankind. Pretty much if you have a penis and pulse you are in violation of women's rights.

Case in point (http://gma.yahoo.com/fight-over-little-p...29641.html). The harpies in the federal gov think its sexism because we don't have a pill to make women horny while we "have lots for men." The truth is no pill makes men horny, but the pills we do have make men who WANT to have an erection have one. Science has also shown the "horny pill" these women are complaining about doesn't work. Furthermore to charge sexism over this while there is no male birth control pill is ludicrous. I'm not saying we should develop one nor that guys should use it, but think about it in secular logic. They say ABC is a right, and pharma research favors men so where is the male BCP??? If we are going to be equal here shouldn't they be making a male pill. Where are the feminists crying sexism on that one? Right, they don't or only pay lip-service to it. Then there's the reliable ol pay gap crap to charge women into voting for Democrats which they do more so than men by 60-40 margins.

Men on the other hand either still want to play "white knight" or like that Elliot Rogers kid want to explode violently / turn to porno giving the feminists the fuel they desperately want. Too many men entertain the feminist insanity and give it credence to "win the favor of their female peers." Playing "white knight" isn't going to change a darn thing. It's going to get you taken advantage of and tossed out. I say many women have dug themselves a deep hole. The most I'm willing to do is throw them the shovel to bury themselves and their entitled self-centered philosophies with them. Guys need to grow a pair and be willing to go it alone if the quality of women we see before us is it. I'm tired of the "wahh wahh girls don't like me." If they don't like you that's probably a good thing. When men stand up for their own dignity instead of throwing it out the door to "make women happy" we will have progress. How can men respect the dignity of women if he doesn't respect his own? When women quit it with this victimhood nonsense we will have even more progress. How can women live with men if they wrongly think we spend every waking moment trying to "control them." Its too darn exhausting and we have better things to do.
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#15
(05-29-2014, 05:14 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote: Men on the other hand either still want to play "white knight" or like that Elliot Rogers kid want to explode violently / turn to porno giving the feminists the fuel they desperately want. Too many men entertain the feminist insanity and give it credence to "win the favor of their female peers." Playing "white knight" isn't going to change a darn thing. It's going to get you taken advantage of and tossed out.

Is what you're calling "playing the white knight" some kind of ostensible capitulation to feminism?  That's not the way I would normally think of the term, for sure.  I would have associated "white knight" with the best traditions of western chivalry.  Now, if that sort of thing gets us taken advantage of and tossed out, I say, do it anyway.  Our Lord was the ultimately chivalrous man:  He sacrificed himself even knowing most people would take advantage of him and throw him out.  Naturally, we should imitate Him.

But then, according to the rest of your argument, it sounds like you might consider getting tossed out to be a good thing anyway...  :pray:
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#16
(05-30-2014, 07:35 PM)JuniorCouncilor Wrote: Is what you're calling "playing the white knight" some kind of ostensible capitulation to feminism?  That's not the way I would normally think of the term, for sure.  I would have associated "white knight" with the best traditions of western chivalry.  Now, if that sort of thing gets us taken advantage of and tossed out, I say, do it anyway.  Our Lord was the ultimately chivalrous man:  He sacrificed himself even knowing most people would take advantage of him and throw him out.  Naturally, we should imitate Him.

But then, according to the rest of your argument, it sounds like you might consider getting tossed out to be a good thing anyway...  :pray:

Christ died for those who believe in Him. If you reject the Lord you don't get the benefits of His sacrifice. Likewise, if women reject men as we are then too bad for them. That's what feminism is, a rejection of men.

Playing the "white knight" enables the female ego to grow and makes you an accessory to their hubris. One of the prereqs for taking part in Christ's eternity is "dying to yourself" which means putting your ego / will aside for His. The fuel for feminism is female ego.

If the choice is being rejected by evil or being praised by it, I think one would be probably be better off not being in evils favor.
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#17


I think women do want "white knights" -- just not doormats or for a man to take any crap from them. Women want heroes and champions and to be protected (without condescension), so I lament the talk against "white knighting" per se. But what the PUA people mean when they refer to that is men putting women on pedestals and basically butt-kissing them, allowing themselves to be led about by the nose, falling over themselves trying to pass their "sh** tests" (which invariably means failing those tests), as the PUA people call them. And all of THAT is very true.  But male protectiveness is something most women want. They just want it decoupled from pedestals and doormats and such.

(As an aside:  I think most women do engage in "sh** tests," that they do so pre-consciously, and that they have to in order to find out what a guy's made of. IOW, I don't think sh** tests are a bad thing, but the female way of figuring a guy out. The problem is that when a guy fails those tests, some women will then play games with him -- have no respect for him but keep him on a string to get things from him. That's where it crosses into evil.)


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#18
(05-31-2014, 03:54 AM)Vox Clamantis Wrote: I think women do want "white knights" -- just not doormats or for a man to take any crap from them. Women want heroes and champions and to be protected (without condescension), so I lament the talk against "white knighting" per se. But what the PUA people mean when they refer to that is men putting women on pedestals and basically butt-kissing them, allowing themselves to be led about by the nose, falling over themselves trying to pass their "sh** tests" (which invariably means failing those tests), as the PUA people call them. And all of THAT is very true.  But male protectiveness is something most women want. They just want it decoupled from pedestals and doormats and such.

(As an aside:  I think most women do engage in "sh** tests," that they do so pre-consciously, and that they have to in order to find out what a guy's made of. IOW, I don't think sh** tests are a bad thing, but the female way of figuring a guy out. The problem is that when a guy fails those tests, some women will then play games with him -- have no respect for him but keep him on a string to get things from him. That's where it crosses into evil.)

The problem with "white knights" is that they usually ARE doormats. I think even when guys "pass the sh*t test" women still play games because that's just what they've been conditioned to do. The attitude these days is man = enemy and you must conquer your enemy. Have you ever heard a woman praise a man without any punchline or backhandedness to her words? I haven't. I've heard  many a men however praise their wives without emptying out the kitchen drawer.
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#19
(05-31-2014, 10:13 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote: The problem with "white knights" is that they usually ARE doormats. I think even when guys "pass the sh*t test" women still play games because that's just what they've been conditioned to do. The attitude these days is man = enemy and you must conquer your enemy. Have you ever heard a woman praise a man without any punchline or backhandedness to her words? I haven't. I've heard   many a men however praise their wives without emptying out the kitchen drawer.

I do it all the time. My daughter does it. Can't really speak for other women, though, since I'm not around them much, sad to say. But I do see that in popular culture the attitude is that men are stoopid things women just put up with and roll their eyes at. No doubt about that at ALL. I mean, there's always some ribbing and teasing and even some relatively serious annoyances between the sexes, and men kvetching about women, and women kvetching about men -- s'all good to a point. That's just nature. But the age-old "battle of the sexes" kind of thing has morphed into something really nasty , with women treating men with no respect at all, and men treating women like sex toys. I blame the Pill and the sexual revolution, and I blame the sexual revolution on Victorian repression that lived on even into the 1950s. A society can't deny major Truths and get away with it for long, that's for sure. There will always be push-back.

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#20
(05-31-2014, 10:13 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote: Have you ever heard a woman praise a man without any punchline or backhandedness to her words?

I definitely have.  More often than not, I think.  Either that, or my capacity for detecting back-handedness is rather low.

But then, I don't spend much time around women, so maybe I just never manage to get on their bad sides.

Now to display my sheer ignorance:  what exactly is a sh*t test?  Is this some kind of system women have for eliminating men before even considering dating them?
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