Men: What Do You Wish Women Really Understood About Men?
#31
I tend to find it much easier and preferable to treat (and be treated by) each individual as an individual. Sure there is lots of overlap but I'll find that out just as well by each person, at which point I'll say to myself "Hey, that's like the last lady I met" or "Wow, this one is really terribly different."
"Punishment is justice for the unjust." Saint Augustine of Hippo
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#32
(07-17-2014, 02:49 PM)Dirigible Wrote:
(07-17-2014, 12:54 AM)RyanPatrick Wrote: 1. We aren't all the same;
2. Lists like these assume we're all the same -- or that there is some "trick" to understanding us; therefore,
3. To really understand us, talk to us and get to know us on an individual level.

While this is true, it's also true that there are strong trends as to how men prefer to be treated by women; therefore, it is advantageous for a woman who wants a man to like her to act in accordance with those trends and be willing to adjust according to an individual man's preference.

My list has 1 and only 1 rule. Perhaps this is a good start for women who are serious about finding a decent guy.

1) Don't think or act like a feminist and we'll get along just fine.
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#33
Most lists here do not apply for me. LOL. I really like when a woman has a high decree, especially medicine or mathematics. Also love when a woman likes to discuss about philosophy HAHA
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#34
Its a long list though...  :grin: But firstly, I wish women really should understood men ... then it's later part... !!! :D
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#35
(06-02-2014, 11:35 PM)JuniorCouncilor Wrote: Now to display my sheer ignorance:  what exactly is a sh*t test?  Is this some kind of system women have for eliminating men before even considering dating them?

A shit test is a test that people give to someone to see if that person will put up with their shit. Women tend to shit test men, but they tend to do it preconsciously, unaware of the actual goal of what they're doing -- or even that they're shit-testing in the first place. The goal is to find a strong man who is decent and kind -- but who won't allow himself to be used and crapped on, a man who will have the upper hand but use his power wisely and for the good. Women (generally speaking) will test boundaries, do things, say things, etc., to see how much a man will put up with, see where he draws his lines, see if he's strong or weak, and so forth.

Shit tests have a bad rap, but they're actually necessary, if you stop and think about it. But most people don't stop and think about it, least of all women who shit test men. Like I said, it really is a preconscious phenomenon a lot of the time.
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#36
(07-12-2014, 02:14 PM)Papist Wrote: One dynamic I see in families where mothers stay home with the children and fathers work is that some of these mothers have trouble understanding why men need a few moments to decompress when they get home. Admittedly, stay-at-home mothers have one of the most difficult jobs in the world, but some of them do not understand the stress that comes with working in the world and supporting the family. When one is at home, one is a relatively safe place, where the individuals one finds there love one another and support one another. Yes, there are conflicts which are very difficult, but they are conflicts between those who ultimately want the best for one another.  When one is in the work place, that person is basically in a battle field. One finds very little support there, and in many cases, one's bosses and coworkers are really "out to get" you, or are at least in competition with you. I am not trying to say that fathers have it harder than mothers, but I think we have lost respect for the difficulties that come with being a man, husband, father, and bread winner.

There's a definite problem with all of this in that, given the reality of the nuclear family, men and women need totally different things at the end of the day. A man who's working wants to come home and unwind, eat, watch TV, play a video game, etc. A woman who works at home, though, has been alone alllllllll day long -- or with just kids, with no adult companionship or conversation, and she is dying for communication, to be heard, to be emotionally affirmed, etc.

Back in the day when the world was more sane, women had mothers or Aunts or Grandmas who lived with them, or at least had a neighborhood filled with other women who were at home working during the day. Those women provided emotional support, conversation, a person to trade chores with, babysitting help so a woman could go to the library or work on a painting or take a class or whatever she might be into so she could have some sort of creative or intellectual life.

It's totally understandable why a man who's been out of the house all day, dealing with people, would want to just chillllll when he gets home. But it's equally understandable why his stay-at-home wife would emotionally pounce on him as soon as he crossed the threshold, wanting to talk, to be touched, to just BE with a real-live human being who doesn't poop his own pants and who's heard of the Beatles.

As is typical these days, social forces greater than The Man or The Woman conspire against them.

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#37
(07-09-2014, 05:07 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: My last ex-girlfriend.  I found her very attractive, yes.  But... I remember this one time we were REALLY arguing.  She never looked uglier in all the time I knew her.  Seriously.  I don't know if there's a term for this phenomenon.

It's called having a fight :P

Seriously, sounds like she wanted something emotional from you at that time. She didn't want to have an argument or a debate; she wanted an emotional something-or-other. Typically, underneath rage is sadness, and underneath sadness is rage. She probably wished you'd grab her, listen to her, ask her questions until she got to crying -- and then let her cry.

But this is a thread about understanding men, so I'll say no more. Maybe we need a similar thread for women in the About Women sub-forum...
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#38
(11-14-2014, 02:00 PM)Vox Clamantis Wrote:
(06-02-2014, 11:35 PM)JuniorCouncilor Wrote: Now to display my sheer ignorance:  what exactly is a sh*t test?  Is this some kind of system women have for eliminating men before even considering dating them?

A sh** test is a test that people give to someone to see if that person will put up with their sh**. Women tend to sh** test men, but they tend to do it preconsciously, unaware of the actual goal of what they're doing -- or even that they're sh**-testing in the first place. The goal is to find a strong man who is decent and kind -- but who won't allow himself to be used and crapped on, a man who will have the upper hand but use his power wisely and for the good. Women (generally speaking) will test boundaries, do things, say things, etc., to see how much a man will put up with, see where he draws his lines, see if he's strong or weak, and so forth.

sh** tests have a bad rap, but they're actually necessary, if you stop and think about it. But most people don't stop and think about it, least of all women who sh** test men. Like I said, it really is a preconscious phenomenon a lot of the time.

I feel kinda sad just knowing this exists.  :((
My test for girls is much more simpler: just be virtuous (and a tad pretty, to be honest). No need to go all survival-of-the-fittest on her.
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#39
(11-14-2014, 05:13 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: I feel kinda sad just knowing this exists.  :((
My test for girls is much more simpler: just be virtuous (and a tad pretty, to be honest). No need to go all survival-of-the-fittest on her.

Men do the same things to women (though I'd bet that women shit-test men more often. Women often take indirect routes to things). People test each other all the time. Not a matter of "survival of the fittest"; just people figuring out who the other is, what their deal is, what kind of person the other is... And like I said, most of the time, it isn't even a conscious thing at all.
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#40
(11-14-2014, 06:11 PM)Vox Clamantis Wrote:
(11-14-2014, 05:13 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: I feel kinda sad just knowing this exists.  :((
My test for girls is much more simpler: just be virtuous (and a tad pretty, to be honest). No need to go all survival-of-the-fittest on her.

Men do the same things to women (though I'd bet that women sh**-test men more often. Women often take indirect routes to things). People test each other all the time. Not a matter of "survival of the fittest"; just people figuring out who the other is, what their deal is, what kind of person the other is... And like I said, most of the time, it isn't even a conscious thing at all.

I can confirm that I do it to my girlfriend. Little things, just to see how she reacts.
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