Can People struggle with SSA marry someone of the opposite gender?
#1
Would it be appropriate for a man who struggles with same-sex-attraction to marry a woman in the Church?
Reply
#2
In my opinion, it would not be a good idea. Too risky and there would always be lingering doubt between spouses.
Reply
#3
Melenda Selmys is a lesbian and she has something like five kids with her husband.  I think it's doable in certain circumstances.

http://sexualauthenticity.blogspot.com/?m=1
Reply
#4
I would think it is possible, provided that there is honesty, love, and respect between spouses and not simply a desire to hide issues with SSA.  It can't be only about duty.
Reply
#5
I can't see it being a good idea for someone to marry someone they're not attracted to.  I know that in the olden days, marriages were often arranged and it was all "You get what you get and you don't get upset."  But in marriage, your body is not your own and it would be a disaster to marry someone you didn't want to have sex with.  plus, if you do end up having sex with that spouse and not enjoying it, it's only going to make the straight spouse feel like crap.  No one wants conjugal relations with someone who isn't even attracted to them.  Doesn't seem like a recipe for a healthy marriage to me. 
Reply
#6
(07-01-2014, 02:37 AM)Chestertonian Wrote: I can't see it being a good idea for someone to marry someone they're not attracted to.   I know that in the olden days, marriages were often arranged and it was all "You get what you get and you don't get upset."  But in marriage, your body is not your own and it would be a disaster to marry someone you didn't want to have sex with.  plus, if you do end up having sex with that spouse and not enjoying it, it's only going to make the straight spouse feel like crap.  No one wants conjugal relations with someone who isn't even attracted to them.  Doesn't seem like a recipe for a healthy marriage to me. 

Could be worse. You could forced someone to marry you after you kidnap them.

Bride kidnapping still happens and the results that occur later in life are terrible.
Reply
#7

Regarding Melinda Selmys, I heard her tell her story on EWTN and Catholic Answers.  She's attracted to women.  When she converted to the Catholic Church she knew she had to give up her lesbian lifestyle. She expected to simply remain celibate.  However, she met a man that she fell in love with.  She understands that her situation is unique and may not be the best option for everyone.  IMO, I think someone with SSA should just try to be open to God's will.  They shouldn't try to get married just to feel normal, but they shouldn't write off the idea either.
Reply
#8
I don't think we can or should make a broad judgment on something like this. It should be examined based on each case, after all everyone is different and each of their crosses are unique.
Reply
#9
One thing my cousin who also happens to be a lesbian loves to remind me of is that sexuality is fluid. Just like how an otherwise heterosexual woman can have a "girl crush" on someone, why couldn't someone who is predominately SSA *be* attracted to someone of the opposite gender... if it's the right person? (TMI warning here...) My understanding on how things often "work" between same-sex couples is that you're basically trying to duplicate what would be happening in a heterosexual copulation, so... why not?
Reply
#10
I struggle with SSA, but I am also attracted to men- thus I am what is considered "bi".
Just because someone struggles with SSA doesn't mean that cannot be attracted to someone of the opposite sex.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)