Can People struggle with SSA marry someone of the opposite gender?
#11
(07-04-2014, 09:01 AM)PatienceAndLove Wrote: I struggle with SSA, but I am also attracted to men- thus I am what is considered "bi".
Just because someone struggles with SSA doesn't mean that cannot be attracted to someone of the opposite sex.

I could see that.

when you're married, you have to suppress attractions to people who are not your spouse anyway.  but at least you would be attracted to your spouse, which is important.
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#12
It can happen, and it certainly does.

The SSA men I know who have married women and had families are devoted to their wives and children.  Most of them are older now, and lived when culture dictated that homosexuality could be cured.  The men I've spoken to were never cured, but their sexual appetites disappeared over the years (as happens with men.)  Now, they are in happy relationships.

I suspect that these sort of relationships have disastrous outcomes if the person with SSA isn't totally open and honest with their spouse.  Also, unfaithfulness can and does happen, obviously.

Also, it's important to mention that sexual attraction is being seen as fluid and diverse.  Someone could have more of a sexual inclination toward their own gender, but still possess attraction to the opposite gender.  These are usually the types who can make the marriages work.

In my case, I'm not attracted to women, sexually, in the slightest.  I never have been.  It's never been a big deal, and I'm fine foregoing marriage and family life.  I feel that I have a vocation to celibacy, and though this can be a challenge at my age, I try to carry my cross.

I suppose, in the end, it just depends on the type of person engaging in this sort of relationship.  Due to a traumatic experience I had when I was younger, I rather dislike physical contact with other people - who knows how intimacy would turn out.
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#13
(06-30-2014, 05:08 PM)Papist Wrote: Would it be appropriate for a man who struggles with same-sex-attraction to marry a woman in the Church?
Could this person commit to her exclusively?
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#14
(07-04-2014, 11:46 AM)Chestertonian Wrote:
(07-04-2014, 09:01 AM)PatienceAndLove Wrote: I struggle with SSA, but I am also attracted to men- thus I am what is considered "bi".
Just because someone struggles with SSA doesn't mean that cannot be attracted to someone of the opposite sex.

I could see that.

when you're married, you have to suppress attractions to people who are not your spouse anyway.  but at least you would be attracted to your spouse, which is important.

From the people I've talked to, so long as the attraction is there it's not any harder to be faithful than it would be for a fully heterosexual couple.  Might even be easier for someone mostly attracted to the same sex, simply out of mathematical probability.
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#15
(06-30-2014, 05:08 PM)Papist Wrote: Would it be appropriate for a man who struggles with same-sex-attraction to marry a woman in the Church?

I haven't read any of the responses.  I've only read your original post.  I have some definite, firm thoughts about this issue.

First, I want to say that most men are very sexual.  Once in awhile, many normal, heterosexual men will experience a fleeting sexual attraction toward another male.  This is normal.  There is a potential for this in many if not most heterosexual men, and it just means that they are sexual beings.  Situations where men are isolated from women -- such as prisons, navy ships, boarding schools, etc. -- will tend to bring this out.  No problem here.

Second, some men are predominantly attracted to their own sex.  I believe it is usually a very serious mistake for such a man to marry a woman, even if she is completely aware of his condition and is willing to accept him and even to try to help him.  I do not believe it serves the unitive purpose of marriage, because I don't think such a man is capable of it.  Many of these men feel religious, social or family pressure to be normal husbands and fathers.  I can understand this desire, but I believe it is not possible.  It's a disservice to the woman, even if she is willing.  The man eventually experiences overwhelming temptations to act out in secret -- and such men often do.  When children have been born to the marriage, a very painful situation emerges just as the children most need stability and nurturing.

Third, there are men who are essentially bisexual.  I would say it's possible for them, but they have to grow spiritually to the point where they accept that not every desire needs to be acted on.  I think it's a very good thing for many such men to be married and to be fathers.
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#16
(06-30-2014, 05:08 PM)Papist Wrote: Would it be appropriate for a man who struggles with same-sex-attraction to marry a woman in the Church?

If he is honest with the woman before marriage, if she understand what she is being told, if both are low-libido typeso, and if both know what Catholic marriage is and what it entails, then I don't see the problem. Those are a lot of ifs, though.

My two cents.



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#17
(07-04-2014, 11:46 AM)Chestertonian Wrote:
(07-04-2014, 09:01 AM)PatienceAndLove Wrote: I struggle with SSA, but I am also attracted to men- thus I am what is considered "bi".
Just because someone struggles with SSA doesn't mean that cannot be attracted to someone of the opposite sex.

I could see that.

when you're married, you have to suppress attractions to people who are not your spouse anyway.  but at least you would be attracted to your spouse, which is important.

I don't think it's "bi" if you just have the attraction but don't go out and pursue it.  In that case, she wouldn't be bi, she'd just have same sex attraction.  "bi" implies she's going around living the lifestyle.
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#18
(07-09-2014, 05:09 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: I don't think it's "bi" if you just have the attraction but don't go out and pursue it.  In that case, she wouldn't be bi, she'd just have same sex attraction.  "bi" implies she's going around living the lifestyle.

Depends on who you ask. I don't think it's worthwhile to get worked up trying to define terminology which our enemies invented to undermine our worldview, anyway.
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#19
(07-09-2014, 05:15 PM)Dirigible Wrote:
(07-09-2014, 05:09 PM)LoneWolfRadTrad Wrote: I don't think it's "bi" if you just have the attraction but don't go out and pursue it.  In that case, she wouldn't be bi, she'd just have same sex attraction.  "bi" implies she's going around living the lifestyle.

Depends on who you ask. I don't think it's worthwhile to get worked up trying to define terminology which our enemies invented to undermine our worldview, anyway.

It is, because when you use terminology, it gives your approval to it.  One should not dismiss such things as mere semantics. 

You can't let popular opinion dictate meaning.
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#20
(07-06-2014, 06:00 AM)Poche Wrote:
(06-30-2014, 05:08 PM)Papist Wrote: Would it be appropriate for a man who struggles with same-sex-attraction to marry a woman in the Church?
Could this person commit to her exclusively?
Of course
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