Loneliness
#31
(07-08-2014, 07:57 PM)Landless Laborer Wrote: Don't be too envious of marrieds.  For more than you would imagine,  it is an oppressive cross of persecution.  Married couples generally don't have the luxury of having hobbies.  As a single person there is more time for travel, study, pilgrimages, works of mercy, storing up merits.  Heaven holds a high degree of glory for virgins and lifelong celibates.  But just because you are single, doesn't mean you have to be alone.  Go to mass every day.  Join Legion of Mary.  Join a bridge or cribbage club.  Find a fishing buddy.  Learn to weld, set up a wood working shop, take up a musical instrument, learn a foreign language and then get involved with that culture.  Also, there are plenty of widows/divorcees out there who can't get, or don't want an annulment, don't plan to remarry.  They are open to non-goalseeking company.   Loneliness is really just a consequence of laziness. 

really, it is not.  I get out, try to meet people, heck I come on here to meet in some form of fellowship with y'all or go to parish events, but I am still very lonely.  Then there is my work, which puts me in even more isolation as I am on remote locations for weeks away from people that share my common interests or really prevents me from pursuing my hobbies.  And by golly, even when I am surrounded by people of common interests, nothing.  And worst it gets harder as you get older, like I hate going to movies or other places by myself.       
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#32

(07-08-2014, 07:57 PM)Landless Laborer Wrote:  Loneliness is really just a consequence of laziness. 

I don't buy that for a minute. I mean, it can be in some cases, but it isn't necessarily true at all.

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#33
I think too that age really does matter.  We can enjoy relationships with those far different in age but we also almost all want ones with those in the same group.  This can be hard on the young adult in many cases.  I've heard enough cases like my own where it seems choosing orthodoxy isolates one from one's own age.  I have seen no one else around my age at the parish I attend.  Most young people go to the parish across town.
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#34
A quick word which will probably be useless, but I'll chip it in on the off-chance someone benefits: friends don't necessarily have to share your faith. There are a lot of people out there who won't share your faith but will respect it, and they can make perfectly fine friends. Some varieties of right-wing atheists, pagans etc have far more respect for traditionalist Catholicism than liberal Catholics do.

There are plenty of atheists out there who will say "You uphold western civilisation and go to mass in a Gothic church? With all the Latin and stuff? Awesome!"
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#35
(07-12-2014, 07:48 PM)Sunset Wrote: I think too that age really does matter.  We can enjoy relationships with those far different in age but we also almost all want ones with those in the same group.  This can be hard on the young adult in many cases.  I've heard enough cases like my own where it seems choosing orthodoxy isolates one from one's own age.  I have seen no one else around my age at the parish I attend.  Most young people go to the parish across town.
Absolutely.
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#36
Dear 2HeartsServant,  Perhaps this won't be of any help to you, but I will share my experience.  Keeping it short, in my life ( I am now a grandmother)  I have had a recurring theme of being isolated.  During some of those times I have been unhappy.  But...the thing is, with a bit of hindsite I have found that God put me in places that were good for me when I did not realize i or like it and He protected me from worldly thing, which I did not realize until later..  I now have a different take on loneliness and view many of the past situations as blessings in disguise.  Another thing that has helped me is reading biographies of Saints.  The true stories of how other ordinary people became holy is very inspiring.  I love Padre Pio, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Teresa of Avilla,  the list goes on and on.  One more thing:  practicing ACCEPTANCE in life is an invaluable tool for getting through the hard times.  Practicing GRATITUDE every day is a great way to turn around negative thinking.  May God bless you.
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#37
(07-12-2014, 07:48 PM)Sunset Wrote: I think too that age really does matter.  We can enjoy relationships with those far different in age but we also almost all want ones with those in the same group.  This can be hard on the young adult in many cases.  I've heard enough cases like my own where it seems choosing orthodoxy isolates one from one's own age.  I have seen no one else around my age at the parish I attend.  Most young people go to the parish across town.

Yep. I am 22 and most of my friend are over 40. The close ones have gotten over the fact that I am so young and treat me as such, but all the other ones it gets fairly annoying to have them admire my youth and what I am interested in during it. I have had the blessing of two close friends my age that are able to connect with the spiritual part of me, and none of them are catholic. I am staying at a buddies house right now and me him and his girlfriend were on the couch and he goes "Theres a Jew a Catholic and a Protestant all in this room right now and no one cares." and it was a fairly remarkable remark, because I realized I am closer with them than anyone. But all in all loneliness is always there I feel like its not even about the presence of people its really a spiritual thirst, we just need to find out how to drink. My buddies girlfriend said later that night, "why are we so afraid of our emotions, are they going to kill us?" and I thought that was pretty interesting insight, and I have held that with me in my emotional loneliness since then and it really makes the whole game very different, much more real but in a positive way. Its not real to be fearful of emotion, bad or good.
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#38
Many times there really are generational or state-of-life things.  It can be isolating being a single person when people your age are marrying and having children.  Especially since, for all it promotes bad behavior, our society also often looks down on single adults.  The stereotype is that single adults still haven't "settled down" yet.  And often the young parents' lives seem to be so wrapped up in babies as to exclude those without - I adore kids but there is only so much of a conversation I can take, especially when I have almost nothing to contribute without sounding condescending.

I think equally the college and post-college is a big marker.  The majority of college kids are still on mom and dad's dime, and most of their lives are centered around the college.  Whereas even as a graduate student it's assumed that you're in some fashion working for your keep and paying your own bills, and you have a life outside of the school.
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