Trad Men and Annulled Women
#11
I am trying very hard to be patient.

I still also have to heal from the breakup. I had many expectations in my last relationship about the future of it... I have to still come to terms with everything that happened and the ultimate outcome of the relationship.

My foray into those sites was out of curiosity more than anything... I just wanted to see if he was right.
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#12
It sounds to me like you're not ready to move on from your last relationship and need to take some more time to properly prepare yourself to offer yourself fully to a man who will eventually come to be your husband.
"Punishment is justice for the unjust." Saint Augustine of Hippo
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#13
(09-01-2014, 11:53 PM)RyanPatrick Wrote: It sounds to me like you're not ready to move on from your last relationship and need to take some more time to properly prepare yourself to offer yourself fully to a man who will eventually come to be your husband.

You are oh so right. And it will be a very long time til I am ready to be able to cleave to another man
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#14
I should add, though, that if you're annulled, you were never married to begin with so that should not be a problem to a Trad man.
"Punishment is justice for the unjust." Saint Augustine of Hippo
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#15
(09-02-2014, 12:27 AM)RyanPatrick Wrote: I should add, though, that if you're annulled, you were never married to begin with so that should not be a problem to a Trad man.

You'd think.  I think the big problem is is that I have a daughter.  A lot of men don't want to be an "insta-dad".

This all is quite moot, though, since I am in no place to be with anyone.  It's just gonna be me and The Lord for a long while.
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#16
(09-01-2014, 09:39 PM)AntoniusMaximus Wrote: My take is that dating sites, particularly Catholic ones are not worth the geld or time.  Dating or Courting, in general, is very difficult even among Catholic circles.  My experience with one of the premier Catholic dating sites is (mind you I am a man here), is that very few women on there were serious about looking for a mate, while most of the men are either creepers or generally socially inept (even more so than myself!), which is probably why few women take it seriously.  And it gets harder when you are in that age range from late 20's to mid-30s where you are still young in spirit, but you can't connect with younger people (who are less likely to be serious about relationships) and older people (who are less desirable for mates in general). 

I have been stressing myself lately whether I should try to date again or just remain in the single state.  I think divinesilence got it right with pray not for a spouse but for God to show you the way to the vocation, He has for you.  Don't be stressed by it and be patient.

(09-02-2014, 12:52 AM)PatienceAndLove Wrote:
(09-02-2014, 12:27 AM)RyanPatrick Wrote: I should add, though, that if you're annulled, you were never married to begin with so that should not be a problem to a Trad man.

You'd think.  I think the big problem is is that I have a daughter.  A lot of men don't want to be an "insta-dad".

This all is quite moot, though, since I am in no place to be with anyone.  It's just gonna be me and The Lord for a long while.

I think it would be worth your time to check out a tradition-oriented dating site and pay the money. In terms of dating sites, the best things aren't necessarily free. There are some generalizations being thrown around here about trad guys (and gals) that are not necessarily germane to the conversation. I wouldn't say that a man would be wrong for not wanting a child immediately that is not his. Some of the questions he might have would be how involved the bio dad is and what that would mean for your married relationship. Also having a child living in the home that is not "flesh and blood" may be difficult for some guys, too. The point is the guy needs to be true to himself and know what he values in a potential mate before he's out there, just like you must.

These are all things that may work or may not be deal breakers for some. I would, however, caution you in trying to be muted about being a trad. That will get you someone who is attracted to a woman who is good at masking her true proclivities. The previous poster who mentioned what else you could possibly compromise on is spot-on. What if you do meet a trad guy who is a bit more open minded with respect to children? And they are out there. You need to be true to yourself and to a potential mate. I say this after having dated two women with whom I "hid" aspects of tradition. I learned my lesson about that. They both ended up being explosive (and not in a good way), with both relationships ending over religious matters on which trads and non-trads frequently clash. Both were Catholic, both converts whom I thought were zealous, though in the end I found out the hard way that they were not interested in attending the TLM or the reasons why I attend. Was I necessarily the best witness? Maybe not, but you also shouldn't have to worry about evangelizing in a relationship. Relationships are hard enough without religious differences.

After having met a traditional lady online who is now my wife, I am glad to say I never once compromised the faith or did something as a trad that I would be uncomfortable doing just to "score" someone.
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#17
(09-02-2014, 12:52 AM)PatienceAndLove Wrote: This all is quite moot, though, since I am in no place to be with anyone. It's just gonna be me and The Lord for a long while.

And why is that a problem? That's what eternity is going to be like. Might as well get used to it :P
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#18
(09-01-2014, 03:01 PM)PatienceAndLove Wrote: I actually had one guy tell me that he only wanted to marry a virgin!


How awfully rude  :realmad:


Neopelagianus
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#19
I'm totally single, btw girls. Just letting you all know.
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#20
(09-03-2014, 08:27 AM)Old_Sarum Wrote: I'm totally single, btw girls. Just letting you all know.

It is as the old saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!" :P
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