My Confession
#1
Alright, I have a bit of a confession to make after somewhat of an epiphany today. I know you guys aren't priests but I haven't been entirely forthcoming here. As many of you know, I REALLY dislike feminism A LOT. I can't say that this severe allergy developed in a vacuum. I'm a news junkie and read way too much. I've worked for a feminist and her treatment of male co-workers was no better than what women complain about regarding men. The hypocrisy of my former boss' actions was just nauseating, but thankfully I've moved on.

Despite my sore spot regarding my boss and her feminism that wasn't quite the "lit match on a gasoline trail." Lots of big life changes were going on at the time one of which was me getting married. Yeah, if you haven't fallen off your seat keep reading. Prior to getting married my anti-feminist views were brewing and I guess I never thought to have that discussion with my fiancee because she seemed traditional on a lot of things. After we got married however the feminist undertones of "men have it easy women have it hard" surfaced. I've said my peace once or twice about it to my wife and don't want to harp on but it really eats me.

No matter what angle I look at feminism from its all goes back to a road block / division between men and women. There is nothing unitive about it and does little more than set woman against man and I don't want to hear "not all feminists are like that" because they are by their subtle actions / unspoken words. It's kind of hard to reconcile feminist division with an act like marriage than is supposed to be unitive and that is what sets my brains on fire. It's a tug of war.

I guess I've been trying to just keep the peace in my everyday life that I explode when I come online. You guys have all been square with me here so I think I need to put my flamethrower in standby mode and be square with all of you. I think this is just my cross to bare and there's no shaking it away. Denial isn't going to help any and that's what I've been in a state of for quite sometime. Any ways that's the truth......yeah I got issues but you knew that already.

I suppose my next stop is the confession booth........
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#2
I have no idea what to say to that, other than that I hope you're alright.
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#3
i will say some prayers for you

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#4
That doesn't look so evil. I myself thought you were secretly gay  :P  :blush: . So basically your wife is a bit feminist and that's why you are suspicious of feminism light?
But on the other hand, is your hate towards feminism a veiled hate toward your wife? You should talk to a good priest.
I'll pray for you.
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#5
(11-03-2014, 10:43 PM)Dirigible Wrote: I have no idea what to say to that, other than that I hope you're alright.

Yeah, I'm ok. I bury myself in coding and that helps put me at ease sometimes....

(11-03-2014, 11:16 PM)Chestertonian Wrote: i will say some prayers for you

Much appreciated.

(11-03-2014, 11:30 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: That doesn't look so evil. I myself thought you were secretly gay  :P  :blush: . So basically your wife is a bit feminist and that's why you are suspicious of feminism light?
But on the other hand, is your hate towards feminism a veiled hate toward your wife? You should talk to a good priest.
I'll pray for you.

My dislike for feminism came first. Wife just pushed the wrong buttons........ :crazy: Really though, being gay? Gays like feminists.
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#6
(11-03-2014, 11:38 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote: My dislike for feminism came first. Wife just pushed the wrong buttons........ :crazy: Really though, being gay? Gays like feminists.

I suspected you just didn't like women in general. But I know, silly me. Sorry.
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#7
I know we've butted heads plenty but I'll light a candle for you.

It's interesting how our experiences shape our views.
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#8
(11-03-2014, 11:48 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: I suspected you just didn't like women in general. But I know, silly me. Sorry.

Well, to be honest I don't like people in general so you are half right. I don't wish them harm, but willful pride-driven ignorance in human beings disgusts me greatly. Who was it that said the more they get to know human beings the more they love dogs? Well, that about sums up my POV except I prefer burying myself in algorithms.
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#9
(11-03-2014, 10:32 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote: Alright, I have a bit of a confession to make after somewhat of an epiphany today. I know you guys aren't priests but I haven't been entirely forthcoming here. As many of you know, I REALLY dislike feminism A LOT. I can't say that this severe allergy developed in a vacuum. I'm a news junkie and read way too much. I've worked for a feminist and her treatment of male co-workers was no better than what women complain about regarding men. The hypocrisy of my former boss' actions was just nauseating, but thankfully I've moved on.

Despite my sore spot regarding my boss and her feminism that wasn't quite the "lit match on a gasoline trail." Lots of big life changes were going on at the time one of which was me getting married. Yeah, if you haven't fallen off your seat keep reading. Prior to getting married my anti-feminist views were brewing and I guess I never thought to have that discussion with my fiancee because she seemed traditional on a lot of things. After we got married however the feminist undertones of "men have it easy women have it hard" surfaced. I've said my peace once or twice about it to my wife and don't want to harp on but it really eats me.

No matter what angle I look at feminism from its all goes back to a road block / division between men and women. There is nothing unitive about it and does little more than set woman against man and I don't want to hear "not all feminists are like that" because they are by their subtle actions / unspoken words. It's kind of hard to reconcile feminist division with an act like marriage than is supposed to be unitive and that is what sets my brains on fire. It's a tug of war.

I guess I've been trying to just keep the peace in my everyday life that I explode when I come online. You guys have all been square with me here so I think I need to put my flamethrower in standby mode and be square with all of you. I think this is just my cross to bare and there's no shaking it away. Denial isn't going to help any and that's what I've been in a state of for quite sometime. Any ways that's the truth......yeah I got issues but you knew that already.

I suppose my next stop is the confession booth........

Wow! Mind blown ovah heah! Well, that certainly explains some of the vehemence with which you talk about the ugly madness going on between the sexes!

You wrote, "I don't want to hear 'not all feminists are like that' because they are by their subtle actions / unspoken words." -- but I do have to say that, well, not all self-described feminists are like that. Me, I don't describe myself as a feminist -- but there's a chance that if I'd grown up in the 1950s, I might well do just that -- without wanting anything to do with modern, radical gender feminism and its man-hating, histrionics, lack of compassion for anything masculine, and incredible lack of logic. But the deal is that there was, in fact, a time in which women couldn't hold property if they were married, couldn't serve on juries, had to fight to be able to go to med school or what not, etc. And there are a few women on this forum who grew up during those times and so, understandably, might call themselves "feminist" because they were against such phenomena.  So I understand that -- while also, as said, being unwilling to call myself "feminist" due to what feminism has come to be and to represent. In fact, I consider myself a support of Men's Rights Movements, generally speaking (though many of them take an egalitarian approach, which isn't any more Catholic than the egalitarian approach taken by modern feminists -- at least in terms of how they talk. That is, they talk that talk, but don't walk the walk when it comes to registering for the draft and other things they just don't want to do, as you well know).

Anyway, I think it's great that you have insight into your subconscious and conscious motives that lead you to fight against radical feminism. That puts you miles ahead of most people in the world. But me, I hope you don't give up the fight. Radical feminism is pure crap and has to go -- but it can't be replaced by anything rooted in (true) misogyny, and egalitarianism, while it might end up giving radical feminists a taste of their own medicine, isn't the answer because it isn't rooted in Truth -- the Truth that men and women are different, generally speaking, and with outliers all around who must be respected and allowed to flourish. 

I've said a buncha times before that if the radical feminists would shut up, and the backlashy he-boy types would shut up, Nature would take its course and most women would choose to be homemakers (while the outliers of either sex are respected and allowed to use their talents in any way that isn't truly disruptive).

I'd so love to know what's in your wife's mind, and what she's expressed to you with regard to feminism and how she thinks men's lives are easier. Maybe it'd be good medicine for the men here to post about the reality of men's lives -- about how men have this HUGE burden of feeling financially responsible for their familes, how they fear getting fired or sick because of that, how men internalize their families' emotions such that they so often feel responsible if the wife or kids aren't happy, etc.  That first -- the responsibility men feel to "bring home the bacon" -- is something most married women really don't have a CLUE about. They really don't. I've found that most women (as do most men) lack the imagination to try to "get inside the heads" of people of the complementary sex.

Hmmm, ya know? I'm going to start a thread, in this sub-forum, about just that: what it's like to be a man and to feel all these burdens. Maybe printing it out and letting your wife find it lying on the kitchen table might help her to understand and have some compassion for you.



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#10
  :O

Wow. Yeah, I always just assumed you were some disgruntled teenager who had been rejected by women too many times.
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