What It's Like To Be a Man
#31
(11-05-2014, 12:23 PM)Old_Sarum Wrote: It feels pretty bad to be a man in this day and age. There's no real place for us in society, except as economic units who generate money for women. Yes, even the un-married only exist to generate money, and the motivation of that is to use it to woo women -because if you don't, you're a loser. It's really hard to get a girl as well, because of hypergamy. Women can get their pick of any man they'd like, really.
Men have a lot more to worry about in life. A woman can go from her parents house, to her husbands without having any real pressure to do anything with her life. They don't really have to worry about being homeless, being alone, being physically attacked. Yes, I know women these days seem to have a hysteria about rape, but that's extremely rare and not something they have to worry about in most situations. If you're a man from a city then you have to be open to the possibility that you could get into a fight every time you leave your house.
A homeless woman? Sure it happens, but who do you think is going to get more pity? There's just more options available to women. Alone? There's always at least one man who will look after her.

Also, there's no security for men. There's no job security, and there's no marriage security. Most women don't even want to get married -at least not until they're past child-bearing age and their looks are gone. If we work hard all our lives to woo that special woman, she could get bored and leave us for Chad -taking the kids with her and half of our stuff.

We don't have any authority. We can't be proper husbands, because we're all equal now and no one person can make decisions. If we disagree we just move on to a new partner. We can't be fathers because of the same reason. Men are 'too vulgar' to be parents. We're idiots who don't love enough, apparently. We can't be bosses in work-places, because they're now overrun with women, who prefer egalitarian structures. So we end up with 50-odd managers in a work place and nothing gets done.

It's hard even to come onto a woman these days, because you can just get labeled a creep or even worse a rapist.

It just feels like there's absolutely no purpose for us in today's society. There's no reason for us to exist. It's a horrible feeling and i honestly don't see the point in life most of the time. I'm not some fedora-tipping MRA or anything. I hate those guys, but I'm pretty pissed at my prospects as a young man. God is the only one that gets me through it.

I'm going to 2nd this!
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#32

(11-05-2014, 06:49 AM)ThomasTheDoubter Wrote: Well my disability is progressive, incurable and neurological, so over time I will lose more and more control of my body. It is also genetic, so that makes it just as hard to marry, barring the fact that disability is a taboo in the culture I live in. Basically my self-confidence took a real beating as I grew as a teenager. No matter which girl I had feelings for, she could never feel the same way, and I have good reason to suspect because it was my disability. My father helps me with simple day to day tasks like bathing and I have read many things women have written about not being able to remain married to a disabled man because she would feel like a mother to a child.

I'm not sad about it, though I used to be. It’s precisely because of all the sufferings in life I was able to turn to God. I'm able to embrace the cross because in a way I understand Jesus' love for man that is rarely returned.  Catholicism is the only religion that satisfies the problem of suffering. There are so many people with happy lives who are on the path to destruction.. So... God know what He's doing. Heaven will be all the better for it.

But I do think men need women to treat them like men, otherwise they don't feel like it.

i have a progressive mitochondrial disorder cannot take care of myself, so i am in a simila r boat... i got diagnosed in my mid 20's but i had symptoms much earlier, they just didn't know what it was...

i have a wife and a son( and a daughter in heaven) and i'm not sure whether my wife would have married me had she known i would have this sort of decline.  at the time of our wedding, i was working, going to school, i w\as in good physical shape (considering that i was on dialysis and on a list for a kidney transplat)and in the years that followed, iot sicker and sicker and went through the weight loss/muscle atrophy/nerve damage riggamamroll

my wife was with me through it all

at this point, she does everything for me, when i'm at home and not in teh hospital...she bathes me, gets me in and out of bed to wheelchair back again, turns me every 2 hours, does my IV/tube feedings gives meds monitors blood sugar, referees between all my various doctors and therapists, and works full time.  i wish things were different and feel guilty for the fact that she has to do so much for her.  I wish i could work and be productive so she could stay at home and enjoy moherhoodinstead o f feeling guilty for not spending as much time with our son

my mom takes care of me too as do my siblings.  we also have homecare nurses that come in for part of the day...

it can b  be tfrustrating because i want to be a model of masculinity for my son, but sometimes ithink...how can iteach him to be masculine when i am not the typical man
how can i teach him to protect when i cannot protect myself

how can i teach him strength when i am so weak

how can i teach him to be a hard worker when i cannot work

how can i teach him dpiritual leadership when my wife makes so many deficisons at home because i often am not ablr....heck i haven't been home in weeks

what can i teach him about being a man, when i am not sure how i reconcile mypredicament with masculinity?

i think the answer is.... maybe we overthink everything.

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#33
(11-06-2014, 12:48 AM)Chestertonian Wrote: i have a progressive mitochondrial disorder cannot take care of myself, so i am in a simila r boat... i got diagnosed in my mid 20's but i had symptoms much earlier, they just didn't know what it was...

i have a wife and a son( and a daughter in heaven) and i'm not sure whether my wife would have married me had she known i would have this sort of decline.  at the time of our wedding, i was working, going to school, i w\as in good physical shape (considering that i was on dialysis and on a list for a kidney transplat)and in the years that followed, iot sicker and sicker and went through the weight loss/muscle atrophy/nerve damage riggamamroll

my wife was with me through it all

at this point, she does everything for me, when i'm at home and not in teh hospital...she bathes me, gets me in and out of bed to wheelchair back again, turns me every 2 hours, does my IV/tube feedings gives meds monitors blood sugar, referees between all my various doctors and therapists, and works full time.  i wish things were different and feel guilty for the fact that she has to do so much for her.  I wish i could work and be productive so she could stay at home and enjoy moherhoodinstead o f feeling guilty for not spending as much time with our son

my mom takes care of me too as do my siblings.  we also have homecare nurses that come in for part of the day...

it can b  be tfrustrating because i want to be a model of masculinity for my son, but sometimes ithink...how can iteach him to be masculine when i am not the typical man
how can i teach him to protect when i cannot protect myself

how can i teach him strength when i am so weak

how can i teach him to be a hard worker when i cannot work

how can i teach him dpiritual leadership when my wife makes so many deficisons at home because i often am not ablr....heck i haven't been home in weeks

what can i teach him about being a man, when i am not sure how i reconcile mypredicament with masculinity?


i think the answer is.... maybe we overthink everything.

These are thoughts in my head too, and part of the reason why I am hesitant to get married. I also worry that if I have a wife she'll get sick of it all and just divorce me, pack up and leave. Divorce is almost like a sacrament in the modern world, and women want strong men. I don't mean to say that ALL women are like this but seeing how common divorce is I don't have a lot of hope that the marriage will work.

You're a fortunate men. Thank you for giving me an example that it can work.
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#34
FE is basically Vox and four or five other people now.
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#35
I think anonymity makes it easier to discuss issues you can't normally discuss with anyone IRL. Well, maybe Chestertonian, we can take it to PM and leave these guys alone.
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#36
(11-06-2014, 02:14 AM)ThomasTheDoubter Wrote: I think anonymity makes it easier to discuss issues you can't normally discuss with anyone IRL. Well, maybe Chestertonian, we can take it to PM and leave these guys alone.
definitely
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#37
(11-06-2014, 02:14 AM)ThomasTheDoubter Wrote: I think anonymity makes it easier to discuss issues you can't normally discuss with anyone IRL. Well, maybe Chestertonian, we can take it to PM and leave these guys alone.

I just want to second Vox's comment that you guys bravely facing these diseases are indeed more manly than most healthy men. I'll pray for you two.


But that apart this thread is a bit of a downer. It looks like I'm the only one who likes being a man.
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#38
(11-06-2014, 09:10 AM)Renatus Frater Wrote:
(11-06-2014, 02:14 AM)ThomasTheDoubter Wrote: I think anonymity makes it easier to discuss issues you can't normally discuss with anyone IRL. Well, maybe Chestertonian, we can take it to PM and leave these guys alone.

I just want to second Vox's comment that you guys bravely facing these diseases are indeed more manly than most healthy men. I'll pray for you two.


But that apart this thread is a bit of a downer. It looks like I'm the only one who likes being a man.
well it's certainlu better than being s woman

every day, my father and i used to say,"blesseed be God King of the universe that Thou has not made me a woman"

we also thanked god daily for not making us slaves or gentiles
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#39
(01-17-1970, 05:07 AM)Renatus Frater Wrote: But that apart this thread is a bit of a downer. It looks like I'm the only one who likes being a man.

I like being a man. It's just not all fun and games. There is no patriarchal privilege, especially not these days, that makes up for the difficulties, and the genders would get along better if women realised that "acting manly" is often something that serious work has to be put into; it doesn't come automatically, and it can't be taken for granted.
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#40
(11-06-2014, 10:41 AM)Chestertonian Wrote: well it's certainlu better than being s woman

every day, my father and i used to say,"blesseed be God King of the universe that Thou has not made me a woman"

we also thanked god daily for not making us slaves or gentiles

Liking being a man does not imply that being a woman is horrible. I've discussed many a time with divinesilence about the good things about females.


(11-06-2014, 10:55 AM)Dirigible Wrote: I like being a man. It's just not all fun and games. There is no patriarchal privilege, especially not these days, that makes up for the difficulties, and the genders would get along better if women realised that "acting manly" is often something that serious work has to be put into; it doesn't come automatically, and it can't be taken for granted.

Yes, but nothing is easy these days. I guess my strategy is not to worry that much about society, which is already lost in so many (worse) ways, and just pray for a family that is, in a sense, outside the norm of society. You guys from the East must understand this better, with your lovely indifference to modernity.

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