This is getting me really mad
#1
I currently live in a house with an extended family. I live with my mom, my sister, my uncle, aunt, and two cousins

With the exception of my Mom and my sister the rest of them are pretty liberal Catholics who are for most part non-practicing

The problem I have is that many of my extended family (My uncle's family) watch a lot of movies and shows which show nudity (it is not porn but it is not decent at all). A lot of times I have to cross through the living room because of whatever reason such as getting something from the kitchen or going to another room in which I need to pass by the living room. For this reason a lot of times I find myself walking by an indecent scene such as a sex scene or a scene which includes nudity. I am pretty sure its not sinful since I don't want to see these things but it gets me frustrated specifically since I am already prone to scrupulosity.

I have a feeling that if I tell them anything that it won't do much. This is definitely true in regards to my cousins who are pretty inconsiderate. 

I can probably tell my mom to talk to my uncle about it but I have a feeling she might also simply nod at me. Even though my sister and my mom are practicing Catholics they also don't have a good understanding of morality and they tend to be lax at times. I have had experience with this and they tell me I am worrying to much.
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#2
It can be easy to become too strict to ensure that you are following Catholic morality if those around you are too lax.  It is good to be especially guarded when those around you are excessively unguarded.  That is a big reason why, throughout the centuries, there has been a desire among many Christians to leave the world behind and live in communities that are separated from the world.  I'm not suggesting you join a monastery,though you should always be discerning your vocation, but it would be good for you to find a group of Catholic friends so you can strengthen each other in the Faith.
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#3
Are your aunt, uncle and cousins living in your mother's house, or are you, your mother and sister living in your aunt and uncle's house?
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#4
Yesterday I told two young ladies at my house that their yoga pants were too tight and that they were responsible for offering the forbidden fruit to the eyes of men. Should a man accept that fruit and indulge himself then it is also their sin for offering it. Surely, this made me the most hated man of the year but maybe I did the right thing? Should the truth not be told? Your situation is a hard one and it is one that I often find myself in; I am always debating with myself whether I should speak or be silent. I think that you should try speaking at-least some of the time. Next time you see something like on t.v. tell them that by watching half naked women on t.v. they are sinning against God and helping to objectify women, that is, helping to turn them into objects for mere enjoyment. Say something like that and then walk off... Telling people the truth is often sufficient instead of arguing with them about it; it gives them something more to think about rather than their own pleasure. Most people just live off pleasure (whether it is sinful or not) and they really truly believe that this pleasure is making them happy or will bring them lasting happiness. They are deceived and you know the truth, that they are headed towards a fiery hell, should you be silent about it? Should I be silent?

When I was living like a hedonist the only preaching that I heard in over 10 years was a man telling me that I was on my way to hell, with no explanation why. I have learned from this experience, whenever I speak I will try my best to explain to people what they are doing wrong, why it is wrong, the consequences of their error and the end result which is hell. If they are open to learning the truth then they will listen, if they are not open then no explanation will help them but it might plant a seed for a later date.

Say a Hail Mary for me to overcome human respect, and I will say one for you!
God bless.
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#5
You might actually get a reaction out of them by saying 'Aren't you embarrassed to be watching something like that? I'd  be ashamed.' if you walk through the room accidentally while they're watching something like that.

People who watch TV go into a mind-numbed imbecilic state where they accept things they might actually be embarrassed by if they woke up and thought about it a bit.
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#6
(03-22-2015, 02:06 AM)ArturoOrtiz Wrote: I currently live in a house with an extended family. I live with my mom, my sister, my uncle, aunt, and two cousins

With the exception of my Mom and my sister the rest of them are pretty liberal Catholics who are for most part non-practicing

The problem I have is that many of my extended family (My uncle's family) watch a lot of movies and shows which show nudity (it is not porn but it is not decent at all). A lot of times I have to cross through the living room because of whatever reason such as getting something from the kitchen or going to another room in which I need to pass by the living room. For this reason a lot of times I find myself walking by an indecent scene such as a sex scene or a scene which includes nudity. I am pretty sure its not sinful since I don't want to see these things but it gets me frustrated specifically since I am already prone to scrupulosity.

I have a feeling that if I tell them anything that it won't do much. This is definitely true in regards to my cousins who are pretty inconsiderate. 

I can probably tell my mom to talk to my uncle about it but I have a feeling she might also simply nod at me. Even though my sister and my mom are practicing Catholics they also don't have a good understanding of morality and they tend to be lax at times. I have had experience with this and they tell me I am worrying to much.

I would say the most useful and effective thing that you could do in a situation like this, would be to offer a silent prayer of reparation to God every time you notice such things. That way, you make reparation for any offense against God that your relatives might be committing, and your mind is turned to Him rather than to thoughts of frustration and helplessness. It doesn't sound like saying anything to your relatives would do any good, and we're only obliged to "admonish the sinner" when there's a likelihood that our admonition will be effective.

I live in a house with no other practicing Catholics, and it's difficult. Sometimes the best thing to do is to focus on God and our own spiritual life, rather than trying to reform those around us before they're ready.
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#7


Does your crossing near the TV when nudity, etc., are being shown actually TEMPT you to sin -- or is your anger stemming from the idea that those sorts of things are being watched where you live?

If the former, then you have to guard your eyes, no doubt about it, and keep taking the long way around to get to the kitchen or what have you.  If it's the latter, then Deidre has the right idea. Turn your thoughts to God and offer reparation.

You said you are bothered by scrupulosity, so your determining exactly what it is that's angering you is key. If you are truly being tempted, then it's obviously something you need to avoid. But if you're thinking that just having happened to have seen whatever it is they're watching is sinful, then that's not true. If you're bothered by the latter type thinking, then sweep the thought out of your mind. God isn't out "to get ya." He knows full well whether you're actually tempted or not and whether you're trying to avoid what are near occasions of sin for you -- or whether you're being scrupulous and thinking that being in the same house with a TV that shows nudity -- including catching a glimpse of it with no intent to -- is some wrong on your part.

A story to ponder:  http://www.fisheaters.com/twomonks.html


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#8
Thanks Vox for this reply I do believe its the later type of anger that you mentioned that I feel and get.

In one hand I do get mad that there are others that watch this sort of stuff. In the other hand I also let this anger by the fact that I had to see it, even if only for a second.

I do know that I don't actually want to sin by watching that sort of stuff, so I know that its mere scrupulosity for most part.

This type of things happen to me quite a bit. Many times I might be browsing the web for innocent stuff - even in websites such as youtube or ebay for a specific thing that I am looking for and unexpected things come up that I honestly didn't want to see- but I let myself get scruples.

I guess I should just take a deep breath when these sort of things happen and pray for those people including friends and family members that allow themselves to take part in them.

Also thanks for the link, I have heard of this story but it is always good to read it a new


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#9
(04-12-2015, 01:32 PM)ArturoOrtiz Wrote: Thanks Vox for this reply I do believe its the later type of anger that you mentioned that I feel and get.

In one hand I do get mad that there are others that watch this sort of stuff.
In the other hand I also let this anger by the fact that I had to see it, even if only for a second.

I do know that I don't actually want to sin by watching that sort of stuff, so I know that its mere scrupulosity for most part.

This type of things happen to me quite a bit. Many times I might be browsing the web for innocent stuff - even in websites such as youtube or ebay for a specific thing that I am looking for and unexpected things come up that I honestly didn't want to see- but I let myself get scruples.

I guess I should just take a deep breath when these sort of things happen and pray for those people including friends and family members that allow themselves to take part in them.

Also thanks for the link, I have heard of this story but it is always good to read it a new

Something to remember with regard to the part I put in bold is that what might be an occasion of sin for you isn't necessarily an occasion of sin for someone else. And if this scene or that scene in an otherwise good movie might be an occasion of sin for someone watching it, maybe they're averting their eyes as well during those times so as to avoid seeing them. Just putting that out there for the cause of dealing with any "judgmentalism" you might be feeling.

But I think Deidre has the right idea. Focus on your own soul and on making any (at least apparently) necessary reparations to God. Then let it slide off you like water off a duck's butt :P

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#10
Man I am in a similar situation, I live with my mom and dad who are liberal Catholics and watch horrible TV in front of me and my kids. Luckily I am moving out soon! The best advice I can give you is to try to find things that get you away and out of the house. When you have to be there just separate yourself as best you can. I once had a good spiritual director tell me that only you can seek out a mortal sin, so if you just need to pass through a room and happen to see something sinful then it is not your sin. I would try praying for your family members that irritate you (easier said than done trust me I know I need to pray for my mom more). But the BEST advice I could possibly give you is to try to move out. Good luck!
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