Wanna hear a joke?
A political joke from from the last days of the former Soviet Union. 

The then secretary-general of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, Leonid Brezhnev, was on his death bed, and the members of the Central Committee were gathered in the bedroom, waiting for the end.


After a while, Brezhnev lifted his head from the pillow, and beckoned over Andropov, the head of the KGB. Andropov then leaned over the bed, and Brezhnev whispered to him 'Comrade, I want you to be my successor', to which Andropov, naturally enough, replied 'Anything you say, Comrade Secretary-General'.

At that, Brezhnev again lifted his head from the pillow, cast a dark and suspicious look around the room at the other Central Committee members and whispered to Andropov 'But comrade, will they follow you?', to which Andropov replied 'Well, Comrade Secretary-General, I can tell you this. If they won't follow me, they will follow you'.
Jovan-Marya of the Immaculate Conception Weismiller, T.O.Carm.

Vive le Christ-roi! Vive le roi, Louis XX!
Deum timete, regem honorificate.
Kansan by birth! Albertan by choice! Jayhawk by the Grace of God!
  “Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. (Who loves me will love my dog also.)” 
St Bernard of Clairvaux

My Blog 'Musings of an Old Curmudgeon'


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A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.  The bartender asks, "Don't you mean a martini?"  To which the Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for one."
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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Q: How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Hippies don’t screw in lightbulbs, only in filthy sleeping bags.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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Q: How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They don't change it.  They watch it burn out then follow it around for thirty years like the Grateful Dead.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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Q: What do a psycho girl's boyfriend and hashbrowns from Waffle House have in common?

A: She likes them both smothered, chunked, chopped, diced, scattered, and covered.



Q: What's the difference between a psycho girl's boyfriend and an onion?

A: She cries when she chops up an onion.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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Ugh, Jeeter! Gimme some better jokes, pleeese. Those are awful. Where's the throwing up smiley? The forum used to have one of those as I remember.
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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(12-18-2018, 10:12 AM)JacafamalaRedux Wrote: Ugh, Jeeter! Gimme some better jokes, pleeese. Those are awful.

Darnit! I thought they were hilarious, but was seeing if they were worthy of a 1000 year ban. Funny story. Big Grin

A guy is walking down the road in Belfast, when someone grabs him from behind and puts a knife to his throat. "Are you Catholic or Protestant?" a voice asks. The man thinks "If I say I'm Catholic, but he's protestant, he'll kill me. If I say I'm protestant, but he's Catholic, I'm still dead. I know, I'll say I'm Jewish."

"I'm JEWISH!!" he yells.

To which comes the reply, "then I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland."

Quote:Where's the throwing up smiley? The forum used to have one of those as I remember.

This one?

Puke Puke Puke
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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Waka, waka, waka,  Big Grin

Yes! that's the one. That's the smiley. I musta overlooked it.....thank you!
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9nLdkYiaYUoV9A2RwClM...Fy7k9QjiMz]
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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