Wanna hear a joke?
http://funny-cat-pics.blogspot.com/2012/...-kill.html
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Q: A Cadillac carrying 5 lawyers loses control, plows through the guard rail, and crashes into the rocks below, killing all 5 occupants.  What's the term for this event?

A: A shame.  A Cadillac can hold 6.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.  When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn’t you rather I draw fresh pints for you one at a time?”  The fellow replies: “Well, you see, I have two brothers.  One is now in America and the other, in Australia.  When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”  The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The fellow becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks them in turn.  One day, he comes in and orders two pints.  All the regulars notice and fall silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers.
When the fellow goes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”  The fellow looks confused for a moment and then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs and says: “Oh, no, everyone’s fine.  You see, it’s just that I’ve given up beer for Lent.”
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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A Bit of Humour From Our Parish Bulletin

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. 'Captain', one passenger asks, 'who is that man over there?' The Captain replies, 'I have no idea, but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.'

++++++++++++
A man takes his sick chihuahua to the vet. They're immediately taken back to a room. Soon a Labrador retriever walks in, sniffs the chihuahua for ten minutes and leaves. Then a cat come in, stares at the chihuahua for ten minutes and leaves. Finally the vet comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a bill for $250. 'This must be a mistake,' the man says. I've only been here for 20 minutes.' 'No mistake, the doctor answers, 'it's $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan, and $50 for the medicine.'

And, yes, our Pastor does have a weird sense of humour!
Jovan-Marya of the Immaculate Conception Weismiller, T.O.Carm.

Vive le Christ-roi! Vive le roi, Louis XX!
Deum timete, regem honorificate.
Kansan by birth! Albertan by choice! Jayhawk by the Grace of God!
  “Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. (Who loves me will love my dog also.)” 
St Bernard of Clairvaux

My Blog 'Musings of an Old Curmudgeon'


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A biker is cruising on his Harley one day, and he sees a cute young lady standing at the edge of a bridge, as if about to jump.  He stops and asks her "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kill myself!" replies the young lady.

The biker thinks she's cute, and wants to help, so to stall for time he asks, "Well, before you jump, can you at least give me a kiss?"  So she does.  It's a long, deep, very passionate kiss.

"Wow!  That was the most amazing kiss I've ever had!", says the biker.  "Why do you want to kill yourself?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl!"



Q: What do you call a group of heavily armed lesbians?
A: Militia Etheridge.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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[Image: vegetarian-hunter-finishes-a-successful-...985217.png]
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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A very silly, very old joke (not invented by me)

Quasimodo's wife goes to see the chief bellringer at the cathedral and says, "Quasi can't come out tonight, he's got a bad back".
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Ozzy Osbourne collides with Winnie the Pooh.

[Image: generals-gathered-in-their-masses-war-pi...891905.png]
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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The Little Blue Smurf


A little blue smurf walked into a bar and hit his hand on the bar. The bartender then put a beer in front of the smurf and carried on making drinks for the others at the bar. A biker noticed but didn’t say anything.
About five minutes later, the smurf jumped on the bar and took a swig of his beer. The biker laughed, and the smurf stared at him. The little blue creature then ran down the bar, stuck his face in the biker’s beer and said, “Blwullbll!!” The smurf took another swig of his beer, and, staring at the biker, sat back in his barstool.
The biker got upset and flipped the smurf off, so the smurf jumped back on the bar, took another swig of his beer, ran down the bar, stuck his face in the biker’s beer and said, “Blwullb!!”
The biker then had had enough. He got the bartender’s attention and told him, “If that smurf does that one more time, I’ll cut his nuts off!”
The bartender quickly replied, “Little blue smurfs don’t have nuts.”
“Well, I’ll cut his dick off,” the biker said.
“Little blue smurfs don’t have dicks.” The bartender was trying hard not to laugh.
“Whoa!” The biker was very confused.”How do smurfs take a piss?”
The bartender started laughing, then said, “You’re going to be mad.”
“TELL ME!!”
The bartender smiled, and, glancing at the smurf, said, “BLWULLB!!”


Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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[Image: 52945555_10156352626864117_1891764018205425664_n.jpg]
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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