Wanna hear a joke?
October is a dangerous time of year for me

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"The Heart of Jesus is closer to you when you suffer, than when you are full of joy." - St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

Put not your trust in princes: In the children of men, in whom there is no salvation. - Ps. 145:2-3

"For there shall be a time, when they will not endure sound doctrine; but, according to their own desires, they will heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears: And will indeed turn away their hearing from the truth, but will be turned unto fables." - 2 Timothy 4:3-4
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With me, it was Smarties/Rockets. I told the kids that was the 'tax' they had to pay for me taking them out trick-or-treating.
Jovan-Marya of the Immaculate Conception Weismiller, T.O.Carm.

Vive le Christ-roi! Vive le roi, Louis XX!
Deum timete, regem honorificate.
Kansan by birth! Albertan by choice! Jayhawk by the Grace of God!
“Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. (Who loves me will love my dog.)” 
St Bernard of Clairvaux

My Blog 'Musings of an Old Curmudgeon'
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My wife and I went to an "open mike" event last night. 

Turns out it was actually an autopsy...
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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Wink 
(10-22-2020, 03:02 PM)Jeeter Wrote: .......
Turns out it was actually an autopsy...
Ooooo that was baaaad ;-)
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Dave, this is for you.

https://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true

Actually, although bad, it was good. ;)
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the most precious blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said Throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in Purgatory. Amen.
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Ronnie boy from Wisconsin 
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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Another joke

A Barnmptism
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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Nancy Pelosi called Chuck Schumer one day and said I’ve got a plan to help us win in 2020 and help us retain control of Congress and take the Senate.

“Great Nancy but how?” asked Chuck.

“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador Retriever.

Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi?”

“Yes we are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Chuck suggested we stop and take in some local color.”

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out.

A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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"What's Black and Blue and is floating in the Bay?"

"Last stranger in here who told a joke about Newfies!"
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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(11-29-2020, 10:30 PM)Blind Horus Wrote: "What's Black and Blue and is floating in the Bay?"

"Last stranger in here who told a joke about Newfies!"

Two Newfies are having a few beers when one turns to the other and says, 'Pat, I t'ink we should go out to Alberta ta work. I hear the money's real good.'

His buddy answers, , 'Nah, Mike. I'd miss me boat'.

'Pat, I'll tell ye w'at. We'll take the boat along. When ya get to feelin' homesick, we can set it down in a field and you can pretend you're rowin' in the Bay'.

'Mike, that might work!'

So, they load up the car and head west. They're out on the Prairies in Saskatchewan when Pat starts felling homesick, so they take the boat off the car, set it out in a wheat field, and they both get in whilst Pat pretends to row.

All of a sudden, a car screeches to a halt behind theirs and a fellow jumps out. He yells, 'Lard T'underin' Jaysus! There ya are the two of ya, makin' fools of yersel's and yer Province! By gar, if I could swim, I'd come out there and kick both yer arses!'
Jovan-Marya of the Immaculate Conception Weismiller, T.O.Carm.

Vive le Christ-roi! Vive le roi, Louis XX!
Deum timete, regem honorificate.
Kansan by birth! Albertan by choice! Jayhawk by the Grace of God!
“Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. (Who loves me will love my dog.)” 
St Bernard of Clairvaux

My Blog 'Musings of an Old Curmudgeon'
FishEaters Group on MeWe
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