Wanna hear a joke?
If you think Jesus used grape juice and saltine crackers, you might be Baptist.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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What do you get when you clone a Jehovah's Witness and a Unitarian

Someone who goes door-to-door with nothing to say! 
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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(05-16-2019, 08:31 AM)JacafamalaRedux Wrote:


That looks like a clip outta 'The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi'

Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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I didn’t realize until today, but the Bible says only men are allowed to make beer and coffee. It’s in the book of Hebrews. Big Grin
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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[Image: how-to-utilize-your-christmas-tree-1-pac...059738.png]
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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~Never make love in the garden or in the fields. Love might be blind, but your neighbors aren't!
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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I just heard this on "Innocents Abroad":

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.

Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the Italians.
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A guy in a boat is sinking, and he contacts the German coast guard:

"Help me, I'm sinking!"

The coast guard replies in a heavy German accent after a brief pause..

"What are you sinking about?"
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A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into the La Spritzzeria bar in Hall in Tirol . 
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?” 
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!
The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. 
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady another drink?”
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!”
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Pal, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?”
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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