Wanna hear a joke?
”Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another service station to find a loo that isn’t too icky. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: five thousand dollars. Tux rental: a hundred dollars. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet. One mood, all the time! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You expect and get extra credit for the slightest act of domestic work. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. One wallet and one pair of shoes – one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ''do'' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 24 minutes. No wonder men are happier.”
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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  • newenglandsun
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There were a lot of jokes aired on the Johny Carson TV show and this segment with Buddy Hackett is a classic!

One should have an open mind; open enough that things get in, but not so open that everything falls out
Art Bell
  
I don't need a good memory, because I always tell the truth.
Jessie Ventura

Its no wonder truth is stranger than fiction.
Fiction has to make sense
Mark Twain

If history doesn't repeat itself, it sure does rhyme.
Mark Twain

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
C.S. Lewis

Political Correctness is Fascism pretending to be manners.
George Carlin

“In a time of deceit…truth is a revolutionary act”
George Orwell
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  • jack89
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?
Oh, where are the snows of yesteryear!
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  • Eric F, jack89, newenglandsun
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Chuck Norris just tested positive for Covid-19. The virus is now in quarantine and not expected to survive.
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  • dahveed, jack89, jovan66102
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While watching TV this afternoon my foot fell asleep. Now it's gonna be up all night.
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Before he goes to sleep, the Boogeyman checks the closet for Chuck Norris.
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