Finding a spouse
#11
Divine Silence's comment brings to mind the folksy, anti-marital rhetoric you sometimes see expressed by men in the tradition of English ballads.

In the Hiberno-English folksong Dublin City, also known as The Spanish Lady, (Roud 3086), there's a verse that goes something like:

Quote:Courtin' women is foolish folly
An' marryin' women is just the same
Courtin' women when they're not willin'
Is like throwin' water against the stream

And in the great cuckoldry ballad The Old Man Rocking the Cradle, also sometimes known as the Old Man's Lament and Rock the Cradle John (Roud 357). It includes elements of Hiberno-English and although the earliest printed broadsides come from Scotland, it may also have an Irish origin.

Quote:So now to conclude and finish my story,
All men that are single ne'er take a wife.
For if you do, they will surely torment you,
Likewise, be a torment all the days of your life.

Crying ochone* that I ever was married
Leaves me in sorrow alas to bemoan.
Hush-a-by baby, be still and be easy
I fear that your father will never be known.

*ochone is an Irish exclamation of woe, and featured heavily in dialect verse of the past, either of Irish origin, or in order to lend such compositions a Hibernian air.
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#12
(08-10-2015, 01:15 PM)love alabama Wrote: I'm in college and my search for a girl has been stifled so many times. I've met trad girls and I had high hopes but I get told that she already has a boyfriend. This has given me temptations to question the ban on polygamy where spouses are shared. Those girls mentioned above are effectively unavailable because of this. The girls that do like me are liberal and with the spirit of the world. I want to marry bad . my hormones are raging. 


Please give me advice. Explain this to me.

You sound like me when I was in college, except for the polygamy part and the hormone part.  But nonetheless, I had that longing.  A part of it is that you ought to be patient, if God so wills you a pleasing wife then it will happen.  Second off, I agree with divinesilence partly, if you aren't too careful, you may be shooting yourself in the foot.  While marriage can be wonderful, it ain't all it is cracked up to be, trust me.  Try channeling that energy into other projects and surely your Pon Farr (to use a Star Trek term) will pass.
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#13
(08-14-2015, 08:15 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote: Here's my advice. Forget marriage if you value your sanity. Is it really just your hormones or is there something else going on that may be putting you in this state of mind? I have a hard time digesting a suggestion of polygamy out of simple frustration due to a lack of decent ladies. As a married guy, trust me when I say the 5 seconds of involuntary muscle contractions is hardly worth risking your dignity over.

As a married man, I think that's selling the vocation of being a husband and father short.  If he's got a calling to the married life, then it isn't all about sexual gratification.  If sexual temptation is what he's solely struggling with, however, then the last thing he should be doing is dating.  Flee temptation.
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#14
(08-16-2015, 06:53 PM)dcmaccabees Wrote: As a married man, I think that's selling the vocation of being a husband and father short. If he's got a calling to the married life, then it isn't all about sexual gratification. If sexual temptation is what he's solely struggling with, however, then the last thing he should be doing is dating.  Flee temptation.

We don't know what he is called to. Only God knows. His comments however do suggest that there is more to this story than we are aware of. When I was in HS I used to lament the lack of decent women too, but the thought of legalizing polygamy never came to mind. I don't know if the OP was serious or not, but marrying just to settle hormones is a TERRIBLE idea. It's a blank check to a feminist woman to use / manipulate a guy.
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