married clergy
#51
There's lots of detached talk about whether or why priestly celibacy is a good thing from the point of view of Tradition etc. but there is inevitably at least one other person involved in a married clergy. The Church's wise decision to require clerical celibacy is also deeply solicitous for the well being of what would be the other half.

It is deeply ingrained in the nature of a wife and mother to want to manage a family home for her husband, children and herself.

Take a little peek at the situation from the other side.
Quote:When a woman marries a future priest, she is also marrying, in advance, his future parish and his priesthood. When he is ordained his wife can often be relegated to a life of isolation, neglect and ceaseless beady-eyed scrutiny."

      Whether we call her "popadija", "matushka' or "presbytera," the name itself tells part of the story. The priest's wife becomes an extension of him. Women who thought this would be a symbol of status and honor are often mistaken. Frequently, it only makes them a target and the wife of a priest can often suffer more stress than her husband.

      When the Alban Research Institute recently conducted a program on stress among clergymen, they found that the stress scores of their wives were often higher than those of the clergy themselves. A list of stress and "burnout" factors for clergy wives showed the following major problems:

1.isolation


2.lack of support from a congregation, which usually sees the priest's wife as a rote model rather than an individual


3.the assumption that when the bishop assigns a parish priest, his wife is also assigned and is somehow responsible to the parish


4.the burden of running the church house on a shoe-string budget under the often critical and uncompassionate eye of the congregation;


5.the financial hardship of raising children and running a household on a priest's salary. 


      Underlying all the problems is the reality that a priest is married to the parish first and his wife second.
Read more at:
http://www.roca.org/OA/96/96h.htm
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#52
I've decided to become a priest and while I would have liked to get married I know it would not work out. I figured that I simply wouldn't be able to give my wife what she really wanted in a marriage. I wouldn't have enough time or money to raise a family. I just don't think I'm the right kind of person to be a parent, but in a way I have pretty much always thought of myself as a sort of father even to those older than I. That's part of what led me to consider the priesthood.

I've tried dating and I'm just plain bad at it.  :LOL:
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#53
(12-14-2015, 03:18 PM)Optatus Cleary Wrote: I think celibate Latin priests in the US are moved too often, though I suspect it may be for the best when parishes have only one priest. I have seen single-priest parishes with a long-time pastor turn into odd personality cults, where only the pastor's supporters stay and others go to nearby parishes.

I can't speak about priests everywhere, but priests around here are moved around entirely too often, whether there's one priest there or there's more than one.  It is very difficult to show someone the most wounded, most secret areas of my soul only to have them transferred too far away for me to see them regularly anymore in just six years.  It takes me a year to get to know someone well enough to open up to them like that, and it is a very exhausting process for me.  Once I'm done with it, I'll have to start all over again in just five years.  I may not even find a suitable replacement right away when they're transferred.  This sort of thing does not work well with long, difficult, frequent interruptions.
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#54
3 years for the newly ordained
6 years for all others

I agree, it's too short.

Although there are still quite a few priests in my AD (NY) that have been in their parishes for much longer than that, but it seems that all of them are being moved slowly. The parish I grew up near had 3 priests who were all there for 15-20 years. Over the past couple years all three have been moved.
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#55
Funny. The priest in one of the TLMs I go to say he was in a parish for 38 years. He's in one of those ecclesia dei associations, so they might function differently.

This is another advantage of Benedictine monasteries.

I don't get why priests are moved around so often. That's not fatherly at all--and isn't the whole of spiritual father the major (practical) reason for celibacy?

But then again, with the kind of priests one gets today its a bit of a gamble.

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#56
(12-15-2015, 02:11 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: Funny. The priest in one of the TLMs I go to say he was in a parish for 38 years. He's in one of those ecclesia dei associations, so they might function differently.

This is another advantage of Benedictine monasteries.

I don't get why priests are moved around so often. That's not fatherly at all--and isn't the whole of spiritual father the major (practical) reason for celibacy?

But then again, with the kind of priests one gets today its a bit of a gamble.

I do think the US is somewhat anomalous in this regard, and non-diocesan priests are, generally speaking, more stable. I think some of the shuffling is due to the bishops throwing their weight around.
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#57
Cardinal Dolan calls it "Making All Things New." Pretty much over the past couple years the AD of NY has closed tons of parishes and moved around a vast majority of priests throughout the rest of the churches. Of the 6 or so churches within 30 minutes of me, some were relatively untouched and others had a complete turn over. However, from what I understand the 3 and 6 rule is what the AD is trying to stick to, so we'll see how it goes for other parishes.

What worries me is that the pastor of one of the nearby churches does TLM. It's the only weekly TLM within 30 minutes of me and I think the only one within quite some distance done by a regular parish priest rather than ICKSP/FSSP (ICKSP priest travels to the other one 30 minutes from me). He has been there for quite some time. I hope that he doesn't get moved any time soon.
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#58
(12-15-2015, 02:11 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: I don't get why priests are moved around so often. That's not fatherly at all--and isn't the whole of spiritual father the major (practical) reason for celibacy?

I agree.  The literal, objective reality of the fatherhood of the priesthood is instant.  There is also a more subjective side, however, and it cannot be ignored.  A priest is a spiritual father because that is what he is ordained to be, however there is also a relational component that must be developed.  That takes time, and it can be difficult if either the priest or parishioner are slow to warm up to new people.  It is very difficult and frustrating to have to restart the process every six years and to just get a six week notice that there's going to be a transition.
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#59
(12-16-2015, 12:18 AM)GangGreen Wrote: Cardinal Dolan calls it "Making All Things New." Pretty much over the past couple years the AD of NY has closed tons of parishes and moved around a vast majority of priests throughout the rest of the churches. Of the 6 or so churches within 30 minutes of me, some were relatively untouched and others had a complete turn over. However, from what I understand the 3 and 6 rule is what the AD is trying to stick to, so we'll see how it goes for other parishes.

What worries me is that the pastor of one of the nearby churches does TLM. It's the only weekly TLM within 30 minutes of me and I think the only one within quite some distance done by a regular parish priest rather than ICKSP/FSSP (ICKSP priest travels to the other one 30 minutes from me). He has been there for quite some time. I hope that he doesn't get moved any time soon.

Cdl. Dolan has a highly undeserved reputation for orthodoxy among many of my friends who are faithful, but clearly uninformed, Catholics.  From what I understand, when he was in Milwaukee he wasn't nearly as rotten as his predecessor.  Something that is "not as bad" can still be pretty rotten.  My friends seem to have forgotten that.
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