Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage
#61
(12-18-2015, 12:36 AM)Matt1992 Wrote: My wife/fiancee and I actually felt really remorseful and repentant over fornicating after getting civilly married. We don't know what we were thinking (and we made that decision really fast while we were emotional). We honestly don't see what's that sinful about living together in our civil marriage when we're not having intercourse.

Nothing is sinful about your situation in itself as long as you are going out of your way to avoid what are occasions of sin for the both of you.  Having a single roof over your heads isn't a sin. Sleeping in the same bed as the other either is or is not, in fact, an occasion of sin for you -- and it's only you two who know whether you're "tempting fate," as it were.  If you're a young, sexually typical couple in love, then sleeping in the same bed is likely not a good idea at all for you. If either of you find yourself getting a tad, um, ornery as a result of the proximity -- and especially given that people in their sleeping/almost sleeping states are pretty vulnerable --  then one of you should move to the couch (well, you should, since she's pregnant Sticking tongue out at you )  All sorts of things can happen during the night -- the sleep groping, the dreams that segue into action, the "not-quite-all-mentally-there" state of mind as you feel the warm body of the one you love lying next to you, etc.  And you, yourself, indicated that remaining chaste is your woman's idea, that if it were up to you things would be different. That tells me that your sleeping with her is likely an occasion of sin, at least for you. And it likely is for her as well; you also have to think about her soul, the temptations your physical closeness is causing her (and she should be thinking the same sorts of thoughts about you!). You should move to the couch, man...

Your priest is likely worrying about scandal. That either is or isn't a true issue given a hundred different factors (e.g., who knows about your situation and could be led to sin because of it?). (mind you, "scandal" doesn't mean "causes people to go "oh, my!" as they clutch their pearls and cluck their tongues).

BTW, for people who are all "just move!" -- come on, man. The economy doesn't allow for such glib answers for most people. As long as they're not putting themselves in occasions of sin or (truly) causing scandal, then they're OK.

To the OP:  I absolutely believe you when you say you and your civil wife are remaining sexually continent. I was in a sexually continent civil marriage for a looooong time. People who just can't imagine how such a thing is possible are lacking in imagination (or are maybe oversexed). Such scenarios aren't uncommon at all.  You've repented of your fornication, so now just remain vigilant and stay chaste until you are truly married. Don't worry about the mental meanderings of people who just can't imagine that two people who are in the position of eating breakfast and dinner together can't refrain from fornicating.

I pray your soon-to-be-wife's pregnancy goes smoothly, that you have a beautiful wedding, and that you then put the past behind you and look forward to a long, beautiful, holy and traditionally Catholic life together.
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#62
(12-15-2015, 08:41 PM)Matt1992 Wrote: My fiancée and I couldn't wait for our Catholic wedding in March to live together, so about 2 months ago we ended up contracting a quick civil marriage and she moved in with me. We consummated our love for one another (and she's now also 2 months pregnant). We regret doing this, as we realize now that we were essentially fornicating, so we both went to confession 2 weeks after our civil marriage and have abstained from intercourse since and we will not have conjugal relations again until our wedding in the Church.

We do still live as man and wife though (she has my last name, we wear rings, live together, and sleep in the same bed), and after confessing we arranged a talk with our priest about this (he will be marrying us, and this is a traditional, Tridentine Mass parish). He now refuses to give us the Eucharist until after confession at our nuptial Mass in March because he thinks we're still living in a state of fornication even though we're abstaining entirely from conjugal relations. She can't stop living with me as she came from our hometown all the way to my medical school apartment on the other side of the U.S., and we essentially eloped because her parents are psychologically abusive (and she absolutely can't live with them again).

Is our priest correct that we're living in a mortally sinful state despite remaining continent (he has always been a particularly stringent confessor)? He said that he can't have our ceremony any earlier than planned initially, and since we want our wedding to be in that church and with the Tridentine Mass, going elsewhere isn't an option.

Was the confession part of the general plan, or realized later?

If it was, this is a very grave matter and the priest would need to know.
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#63
Update: See youTube on Recidivism by Fr. Ripperger
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