Conversations with my family
#1
So my mother opened up to me today about how she and the rest of my family feel about me. For the most part we are a open family and are able to talk with each other about anything, Which is good. But today I learned some things I didn't know.

My mom told me she and my father are very concerned with my views because I am not like everyone else. Im not "normal" in her words. She says I over analyze media and can't just enjoy it. Well, I don't like most tv and movies because unlike most people I can see the agenda being pushed in it and it usually pisses me off. So naturally I stay away from the movies and television. She thinks this is a problem. Secondly she thinks I'm a religious zealot. She told me that Im wrong to think that people have to go to Church on Sunday. Her defense for this claim was that most people don't and its okay to just go to Church on Saturday. She told me that when her and my father became catholic the RCIA program never told them they have to do that or go to confession so that means that they don't have to. She says that most people are going to heaven because they are good people and we don't need to be strict with our religion. She said the Priests never tell people they have to go to church or any of the stuff I tell her so therefore it isn't true.

Basically her argument is since I'm not like most people or my opinion isn't based on the popular opinion that Im wrong. I told her that truth isn't determined by the popular vote and she disagreed. She said I remind her of people like Timothy McVey or other radical people who do bad things. She quote said "All the stuff you say is book smart stuff but not normal people stuff." WTF does that even mean? Because she sent me to college and pushed me to be a politics major she now wants me to revert to being ignorant about thing again, I can't just un-see the truth. Idk.

i showed her one of those things for examining your conscious and she asked how anyone can go to heaven if we have to follow all these rules. To which I responded that Jesus said the path to heaven is narrow and difficult.

Basically she's a cafeteria catholic to the max. A product of poor catechistic education. A product of the modern Church. I have spent the better half of the last few years trying to 'save' my family in a sense and I learned today that they don't want to be saved.

Popular opinion determine truth.
The world is fine.

So Iv given up. I will let them worry about their own souls and hope God brings them through different means because through me it won't work.

Obviously the conversation was much longer then this and more in-depth but you get the gist. All of it just reminds me of this saying,

“A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, ‘You are mad; you are not like us.'”

+ St. Anthony the Great


Please pray for my family.
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#2
Wear these criticism like a badge, buddy.

My folks are the same. I learned there's no point in arguing, that's the modernist trick: truth is no longer compelling--not that it would matter, since they avoid reflection and truth like the plague.
Just pray.

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#3
(12-21-2015, 04:54 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: Wear these criticism like a badge, buddy.

My folks are the same. I learned there's no point in arguing, that's the modernist trick: truth is no longer compelling--not that it would matter, since they avoid reflection and truth like the plague.
Just pray.

I can only second what RF said. Wear as a badge of honer. My family see sme as some kind of right wing religious sellout. I mean it's not like this is not true I obviously am. But it's just that they see my belief in the objective truth of my faith as some kind of disease. I had to move a thousand miles away from them just to get some peace of mind.
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#4
Why did your parents convert in the first place, from what religion, and how long ago? In my experience, it's odd to see converts talk like this, since they saw enough value in Catholicism to want to go through the effort of formally converting (which often involves family opposition itself).  Finding out why they first fell in love with the faith might help you figure out how to rekindle that love.

If all else fails, don't stop praying :)
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#5
I know what its like to feel like people see you as a fanatic. Its frustrating and hurtful after seeking the truth for so long and caring so deeply about it. I've figured out that its useless to debate, people just get defensive. We can care about the salvation of others just turn that into prayer for them :) get them so green scapulars and hide them in their stuff and pray for them. St Therese said prayer and sacrifice does more than words :) but I wanted to say I know what this feels like. We are not like the majority but if the majority is wrong then we are on the right path. I would recommend not debating your family if this comes up again, just pray for them and share beautiful things about the faith that they would like :) be joyful and calm and that would probably be the greatest proof to them that you are right. Even with the media, dont watch it but be peaceful and joyful. I've found that to be helpful. God bless you!
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#6
Honestly this is typical if you are of the millennial generation, reconverted to the faith, and your baby boomer parents are either atheists, pagans, or cafeteria Catholics. My parents are like this to me but maybe not as "judgmental" towards my views as you claim yours to be. It is difficult to educate parents who grew up in the wacky 60s/70s and have a narcissistic bent-not entirely of their own fault or even knowledge. We have allowed the secular atheistic culture to take over our churches and society; when this happens moral relativism seeps in. The best you can do is not beat yourself up for it (like I did at one point) because you can't bring the Truth to your family and "save" them. Best to pray for them, ignore the idiotic things they may "accuse" you of, and hope that they find their faith at some point in time.
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#7
Who wants to be "normal"?  That's boring.  I analyze things a lot. I also went my own way after I started college by becoming Catholic. I am an unconventional person, and being so has suited me well.
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#8
I would suspect that most Fishies would fall outside of the realm of "normal" these days. You are in good company.

Your description reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother many, many years ago. She noticed when we watched TV that I avoided scenes with much ...ahem, we'll call them public displays of affection, either averting my eyes, leaving or just changing the channel. She thought I was being overly sensitive and should just "get over it".

I think people who are draw to Traditionalism are just programmed differently right from the get-go. That can put them at odds with everyone else.
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#9

(12-21-2015, 05:45 PM)SaintSebastian Wrote: Why did your parents convert in the first place, from what religion, and how long ago? In my experience, it's odd to see converts talk like this, since they saw enough value in Catholicism to want to go through the effort of formally converting (which often involves family opposition itself).  Finding out why they first fell in love with the faith might help you figure out how to rekindle that love.

If all else fails, don't stop praying :)

My mom converted with my Dad. She's never been real religious. My dad is more religious and knowledgable but won't make an effort to go to Church because my mother doesn't want to. My dad was raised Mormon and he hated it and though it was lunacy so he left the faith and ended up converting to Catholicism. I think his disdain for being real into it was because how strict Mormonism was. Also they converted when they moved to saint Louis and it's the biggest thing here. Almost everyone is Catholic but no one is really actually catholic if you know what I mean (neo cats, liberals, and cafeteria catholics everywhere) so part of the conversion might be from the majority pressure. It would be like living in Oklahoma and being around 90% baptists. I mean we went to church and all that when I was a child but once I was confined and moved went to Catholic Highschool we stopped going. It was always a social thing for my mother. Not a religious obligation. 


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#10
I have been given the same talk a number of times before. One can only do one's best to remain humble, and note if there is any relevance to the criticism. If the response we are eliciting from our families with our zeal is consistently such, then our attempts at evangelizing are not working.

Perhaps it is best to avoid theological and political conversations and evangelize through quiet and meek example and prayer instead of through instruction.


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"Punishment is justice for the unjust." Saint Augustine of Hippo
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