Conversations with my family
#11
My approach is to
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#12

(12-22-2015, 10:19 AM)Ptochos Wrote: My approach is to strive to "preach the Gospel, use words if necessary." I find that most people are much more interested in how I live than in what I have to say. Since I am far from a model of virtue, I don't use many words and pray often that I won't "scandalize one of these little ones." I find people who aren't "really into" faith are scandalized more by my lack of charity, humility, self-awareness, sincerity, etc. than with whether I keep strict rules. And I think those are my primary duties as a Christian, traditional or otherwise.

Yes I have realized that too. My mom made the point that I sin and mess up so she said I was a hypocrite. So I think it would be best to just work on my self. It just bothers me when the faithless call the faithful hypocrites. We are at least trying. But I plan to be a better witness to the faith.


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#13
Something I try
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#14
I'm wiI read about Our Lady somewhere.. She was accused of things wrongly in her life and her response was so humble that people actually changed their behaviour. If people point out my sins - its true that they are there (I'm not sinless like Our Lady of course) and I think as a Catholic I'm more responsible to show a good life than someone not practising. Often I failed and at the same time talked about sin. It would be more effective to just show virtue first and talk about the parts of the faith that would show their beauty to the person. Like often I talk about the music because I'm in the choir. When I talk about things I dislike or lack joy or peace that really pushes people away. It can really feel unfair being criticised when you're trying by those who aren't practicing. Yet I guess since people know I'm religious it scandalised them to then see me sin.
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#15
DeoDuce,
I understand, as I think many others here do. In my case, a lot is my fault, and I try to bear the changes meekly. I'm the elder brother of four, sons of two converts. Mom, from a fundamentalist church of the week, my dad is a presbyterian minister's son and grandson. They're still married and Catholic, but their parish is one of those wherein one finds, ahem, liturgical dance. Still, I have asked for them to come to a low Mass with me sometime, and was told yes.
I'm 52, and my brothers and I were raised in the mess that was the sixties, seventies, eighties. Out of us, one is agnostic, one (I think) is lutheran (he married one, as well), one goes to Mass. The latter brother's wife calls me uber Catholic, though she's not trying to be pejorative. They also remember the me that went from trying to discern a vocation at 14 to playing in rock bands all through the eighties, with a lifestyle that would have earned a place in Hell.
From that to yet another secular joe, who finally began making his way back about ten years ago, in large part because I had become a freeper, and was exposed to items from Vox, used in arguments against protestantism. I'm feeding my brood from hand to mouth these days, but if I had a million, Vox would have to have most of it, just for that. Anyway, forget my rambling.
When you have these conversations with your family, remember that they are your family. Pray for them. You could offer mortifications for them. Remember Saint Monica and Saint Augustine. Yes, it's frustrating. But we cannot compel others to see the truth. We can talk with them, yes. We can show them, et cetera. We can pray and offer up for them. Have you thought about having Masses said for them?
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#16
"And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words: going forth out of that house or city shake off the dust from your feet.  Amen I say to you, it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city."  Matthew 10:14-15
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#17
(12-22-2015, 11:31 AM)Knight Hospitaller Wrote: "And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words: going forth out of that house or city shake off the dust from your feet.  Amen I say to you, it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city."  Matthew 10:14-15

I'm all in with Knight Hospitaller on this one. Shake off the dust from your feet concept! I know it probable save my live. I had some real devils in my family I'll tell ya! Plus I like his user picture and name there cool!
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#18
Yes, there are
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#19
(12-22-2015, 11:43 AM)Ptochos Wrote: Yes, there are toxic families and sometimes you do have to cut yourself off. I don't think this is something you do lightly though.

Agreed! It took me to the age 42 to finally get the courage to leave what I realised was a codependent and sick family I was a part of and because of it was very sick myself. But it did took the painful slap of reality of my teenage nephew getting killed to finally motivate me to make my jump. My wife and I left our lives behind and headed to the bible belt where we have our home today.
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#20
St Theresa of Avila said that you should leave such people to the mercy of God and pray for them.
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