My experience so far...
(I hope this fits under "discussion"...)

So I converted to Catholicism about 11 years ago, and started out on my Catholic walk very joyfully, but there was *always* something that made me feel somewhat sad at my usual Mass, even though my home parish is a smallish, reverent-ish one in a small, conservative town. And even though the Lord usually shed graces on me during most Masses. 

That sadness and feeling of something being "just not quite right" would almost always be there and sometimes it would be a lot worse than others, and over time I would say it became more and more distracting and intolerable, and I felt the strong need, though I didn't fully understand what it was or how to articulate it, for a much holier kind of Mass. And at most other NO Masses that I'd attend anywhere else, that same sense...

One day fairly recently while at Mass I received an inner "word":  "More reverence." So I decided to go to a nearby Benedictine Monastery where I knew they offered mass in Latin. Not even the TLM, it is the NO, but it's in Latin, chanted, with incense, monks, and reception of the Eucharist on the tongue while kneeling... WELL!!!!! I can't fully express how the sheer total reverence, the prayer, the silence, the true-ness of the monks, the depth of the prayers, all of it not only "removed" any feeling of sadness or something not being right, but seriously flooded me with graces.

Last Sunday because of family issues, I had to make the choice to go to my original parish, which was hard, because I was actually CRAVING going to Mass back at the Benedictine Monastery, such it is that I experience immersion in the Presence of the Lord and closeness to Heaven and other inexpressible things there.

I really didn't want to go to my own parish, and I'm NOT someone who doesn't want to go to mass. But I did go because it was Sunday.

And no exaggeration, the sense I had was almost like it being a "graveyard" representation of Mass. I was so uncomfortable, and I felt worse afterward for having been there. For another whole day I felt awful. This wasn't something I was expecting. The sense that that kind of Mass is just really ROBBING the Lord of the honor due Him, and robbing the people of knowing better and of giving them true prayer and worship... and how many of us have been robbed and blocked from these treasures, and no wonder just about all the "cradle Catholics" I know who are around my age (50-ish) seem to know so much less about the Faith than even a newby convert like me... even the regular attenders...

Whatever  tolerance or ability to struggle through in spite of it that I'd had all these years seems blown to bits. And this is not any kind of criticism of the Priest (whom, I believe, is a good Priest, and I respect him) or the congregation -- for what they are and what they do, they do the best they can and many there are quite sincere and devoted to the local parish and do good works. But I truly don't want to go back, not for the Mass. I may go to Adoration there on First Fridays.

But now I really almost ~dream~ of the beautiful, reverent, holy Mass in Latin with the monks until next time I can be there... I could run there as fast as my legs would carry me, and when there, the feeling is of never wanting to leave... and of wanting to share this with anyone else who wants to come with me. It has practically saved my faith, I think. All week long after Sunday there, my mind and heart are lifted up to the Lord, and my understanding grows, and I am able to pray quite a bit more than usual...

So, just sharing this here. I am making my way through the excellent information on this site. Just thought I'd tell a bit more about myself and what's happening in my Catholic life.


Thanks for sharing :)  Yes there are a  lot of underutilized resources  here at Fish Eaters.  Vox did a  great job of putting it all together.  Anyway  most all of us can relate to what you are saying.  This is a great place  to talk to like minded people as we all struggle along with what is most important to us all.  To love and serve the Lord the best way we know how.  Anyway..may God bless you!
:) Thank you so much, Qoholeth! And may God bless you, too. (I didn't know if it was a little silly of me to share that, so thanks for your response.)
I understand your situation, I go to a moderately reverent NO. Most receive in the hand and its in English but most of the people are good honest catholics and I've seen a LOT worse. Sadly there's not a TLM for hours away from me but I would absolutely love to go to one. The thing that keeps me going is that although the liturgy is so much removed from the majesty of the TLM, no matter what its like the heart of it remains the same and that Jesus is truly present despite the irreverence He receives in some parishes. Most of the people are just sadly ignorant of the beauty and reverence of the TLM, I hope to one day remedy this when I become a priest, God willing.
Sometimes when He wants to lead us to a greater holiness God will allow you to not receive any of the consolations which we are accustomed to when we pray or attend mass. You can regularly attend whatever mass you want, but if you are unable to for whatever reason assist at that mass and then you go to the place you don't feel an attraction to then you are growing in the holiness that will mature you so that when you go to meet you maker He will say, "Come fore ward my dove, my true friend.

Man, oh man, is your story sad. And even more sad in that it's so incredibly common.  The Novus Ordo, even the ones offered with reverence, is so sterile. I not only merely "don't like" the vapid piano-backed responses, but I loathe them. They're an assault.

This video, one I just pulled randomly, just now, off of Youtube sums it up. Just watch for two minutes from the starting point I (should) have set up below:

And now just want TWO MINUTES of this, from the below starting point:

How can anyone in his right mind think them comparable in any way?

The piano at the Mass sounds so -- incredibly sad. So pathetic. It's ugly.

Have you read this page?:  Note especially this bit (click the link!):

FishEaters Wrote:
Second, those who see no "real difference" between the Novus Ordo Mass and the ancient Mass are like the "personage" of Hillaire Belloc's youth who insisted that a diamond "is the same thing" as a lump of coal. They can point to the Novus Ordo's short Kyrie, the Canon, the changed words of Consecration, etc., and say that because these elements are there, "it is the same" as the ancient Mass, but this sort of thinking makes me wonder if those same people would buy their wives rings encrusted with coal because both diamonds and coal are made of carbon. Belloc would say these people have lost their power to know "an oak tree when they see one" without having to examine every leaf. In short, he'd say they've lost their powers of "integration."

To me, that paragraph sums it up. The Novus Ordo can only be OK for those who either want to be able to rush in and rush out of Mass so it's over quickly, or for those who have no power of integration, who are so left-brained that they see tick marks next to the parts of the Mass, think to themselves that it "all adds up," and, so, it's  good enough. They seem to have no sense of poetry, no sense of aesthetics, no sensitivity to beauty at all. I will  never, ever, ever understand anyone who, after experiencing the TLM, thinks the Novus Ordo is good enough.
Thanks for sharing, Margaret-Mary. I think many here can relate to what you've written. It is a total mystery how the vast majority of Catholics don't get it. How much more rich and beautiful--and powerful--the old ways are. Something happened after VII that made many modern Catholics almost ashamed of the old ways. Like wearing a veil, praying the rosary, wearing the scapular all became out dated little old lady things.
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
[-] The following 1 user Likes JacafamalaRedux's post:
  • Margaret-Mary
Your post, Qoholeth, is right on spot! I am a bit older than most of the fishies hereabouts,  so much so that I actually studied to be an Altar Boy and had to learn the responses in Latin. I remember all the confusion and turmoil that came after Vatican II, but especially, I remember and watch as it continues; the effects of the many "In the Spirit of Vatican II..." heretic-zealots who spread so much error in the Church and rewrote the Mass into what we are left with today.

If only I had the privilege of a TLM near me. I only have the NO here, practiced in humble respect, but still lacking.

When you pray the Mass in Latin, you are talking in God's language. There is no misidentifying whom it is you are speaking to. The person next to you, in the pew, would never mistake what you are saying as directed at them. Latin is not the vernacular. There is no play on words. Latin is specific and unchanging. St. Jerome used Latin rather than Greek (or any other language) for a number of reasons, but mainly because it was the language of scholars and was essentially dead, as in not evolving and not changing in meaning as the next possible language of his time, Greek was/is still malleable.

Keep going to the TLM, it is how it's supposed to have always been and with God's Grace, will return to in time...I pray Indeed!!
(01-28-2016, 06:40 AM)Vox Clamantis Wrote: Man, oh man, is your story sad. And even more sad in that it's so incredibly common.  The Novus Ordo, even the ones offered with reverence, is so sterile. I not only merely "don't like" the vapid piano-backed responses, but I loathe them. They're an assault.

This video, one I just pulled randomly, just now, off of Youtube sums it up. Just watch for two minutes from the starting point I (should) have set up below:


That sounds horrible!

I don't have to have Gregorian Chant all the time.  Polyphonic choral music is also good, as long as the text isn't obscured by the harmony.  I'm also happy with hymns- even traditional Catholic hymns that are in English, although those are more properly suited for Low Mass.  I'd rather good hymns than badly-done chant or badly-done choral music.  I just want traditional music.  It is frustrating, because it seems every accommodation is reasonable except traditional Catholicism.  They'll have their Lifeteen Masses, their Spanish Masses (Mariachi ad nauseam), and their Masses with the standard fare of music (You Are Mine, et al.), but can't bring themselves to have a Mass with just traditional Catholic hymns or chant.  As sad as this is, I feel very fortunate in that the Novus Ordo I often go to only has music every other week.
I can really relate to what you wrote... I'm also a convert, came in to the Church with much joy about the Eucharist, but later felt like the reverence is missing... When I went to my first TLM it fulfilled everything I was seeking. I now live near a TLM parish but when I visit family the TLM is far and I'm not always able to go, and its really painful to go to the nearby parish though its not the most liberal.

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