Early Dating Hurdle and Mass
#1
I don’t really know where to post this.  There is a thread for ‘Modesty for Men’ and quite a few where tattoos are discussed.  There is a seminal one of 19 pages!  If there is an answer out there, please direct me to it.

Anyhow, I met a man.  It’s new and at this point nothing serious because it’s based on mutual physical attraction right now.  He ticks a lot of my boxes though….well, until we get to the problem.  So, religion had to come up because it explains some life choices and what to expect.  He wasn’t completely turned off as he has a generic belief in God (as in a Creator exists) and offered to come with to Mass ‘just to see what it was all about.'

I don’t think that will be possible though.  His knuckles are tattooed with some pretty provocative things and something that would be sinful to take in a place of worship.  I haven’t seen the rest of his body to know what other tattoos he has but I can assume they follow the theme of his knuckles/hands.  Not only would it be disrespectful to have this in a church but I don’t want parishioners to be off put as well.

Is there a solution here? Thoughts?
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#2
Gloves? That's all I've got, i hope it works out for you.

Just be respectful and explain that other people might be offended but don't try to force the matter. I'd say its more important for him too go to Mass than for others to accept him there. If anyone gets riled up just explain that he's a bit of a work in progress.
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#3
Explain that some folks at the parish may be taken back by some of his ink, and try to dig into his psyche to see if his lifestyle and beliefs are reflexive of the tats he previously had done.
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#4
If he's willing to come to Mass, I wouldn't worry about the tats. They are who is/was, and what is the Church but a hospital for sinners?
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#5
:LOL:

Surely this will end well.
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#6
(04-23-2016, 12:11 PM)Zubr Wrote: I don’t really know where to post this.  There is a thread for ‘Modesty for Men’ and quite a few where tattoos are discussed.  There is a seminal one of 19 pages!  If there is an answer out there, please direct me to it.

Anyhow, I met a man.  It’s new and at this point nothing serious because it’s based on mutual physical attraction right now.  He ticks a lot of my boxes though….well, until we get to the problem.  So, religion had to come up because it explains some life choices and what to expect.  He wasn’t completely turned off as he has a generic belief in God (as in a Creator exists) and offered to come with to Mass ‘just to see what it was all about.'

I don’t think that will be possible though.  His knuckles are tattooed with some pretty provocative things and something that would be sinful to take in a place of worship.  I haven’t seen the rest of his body to know what other tattoos he has but I can assume they follow the theme of his knuckles/hands.  Not only would it be disrespectful to have this in a church but I don’t want parishioners to be off put as well.

Is there a solution here? Thoughts?

What you call a "hurdle" I would call a pretty serious sign. BTW I am referring to his reluctance to have anything to do with your beliefs early on. Speaking from experience, signs early on like this should NOT be ignored. Ignore at your own peril.

A wise traditional priest once advised me to break off an engagement because of what you might call a "hurdle." It ended up being one of the most coherent pieces of advice I followed.

If you are of different minds on religion, I guarantee that's only where it will begin.
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#7
Something this guy could consider is getting the tattoos on his knuckles lightened with laser removal and then covered up with something more tasteful, like a positive message. This would be a visible sign of a change in his life. :)
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#8
(04-23-2016, 02:13 PM)Renatus Frater Wrote: :LOL:

Surely this will end well.

I think it would end worse if I (as a woman with serious illness) entrapped a good Catholic man into a marriage that I know would not bear fruit.  :LOL:

(04-23-2016, 12:34 PM)Sir Charles Napier Wrote: Explain that some folks at the parish may be taken back by some of his ink, and try to dig into his psyche to see if his lifestyle and beliefs are reflexive of the tats he previously had done.

You raise a good point.  I have to admit that we haven't gotten into the extremely deep psychological conversations.  I know one is typically related with gang related stuff but if that is the case, he has a full time job and seems quite level headed now.

I want to thank the rest of you for your comments and thoughts; the good and the ones not so good.  This has raised a question in my mind though.  Granted, I cannot assume that he will go gung-ho for religion and be a convert right away as this is a very serious matter.  But, if such ink was done in the past, and he would go to Mass with an open heart or with good intentions, can it be overlooked for the time being?  Well, maybe overlooked is not the proper word but rather 'be placed on a path to forgiveness'?  I'm getting ahead of myself here but just uneasy about bringing such things into a place of worship.

He's not anti-religion and hasn't called me a 'Jesus freak' like a lot of secular people.  :eyeroll:  I simply think because he wasn't exposed to it or raised in it that he is a lost sheep.  Granted, he is an adult and could have come to a spiritual awakening on his own so I shouldn't make excuses either.

Anyhow, it is not this Sunday's Mass so we shall see what happens.
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#9
(04-23-2016, 11:27 PM)Zubr Wrote: I want to thank the rest of you for your comments and thoughts; the good and the ones not so good. 

I just realized this sounded so wrong.  What I meant was the positive and not so positive.  All the comments were good!  :blush:  My apologies.

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#10
(04-23-2016, 11:27 PM)Zubr Wrote: But, if such ink was done in the past, and he would go to Mass with an open heart or with good intentions, can it be overlooked for the time being?  Well, maybe overlooked is not the proper word but rather 'be placed on a path to forgiveness'?  I'm getting ahead of myself here but just uneasy about bringing such things into a place of worship.

I don't see why not.
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