regretting my conversion
Many times when God wants to bring us to a greater holiness He will take away the consolations that He used to give us. He does this in order to bring you to a greater union with Him. I know that it is confusing and hard to describe. What I recommend is that you look for a priest or religious who that you feel that you can confide in and ask for their advice.
I will pray for you.
:pray: :pray: :pray:
I went through a dry patch too immediately after Confirmation. I think God pulls away some of the scaffolding at Confirmation. He wants you to grow in spiritual maturity and part of this is becoming able to worship Him without depending on emotional consolation. That might sound harsh but it is a reality documented in many works of spiritual theology. I suggest you focus on a simpler approach. If you don't like praying the rosary or the divine office you don't have to. Meditation and reading the bible should be at the centre of your spiritual life. And it's okay to hang out with your Protestant friends if you enjoy it.
(05-04-2016, 05:20 PM)Share Love Wrote: (snip) When's the last time you flailed your arms around a loved one and jumped up and down around them, clapping? You likely don't. You hold their hand. You have peaceful and deep conversations with them. You don't have to work yourself up into a frenzy for that. (snip)

I like that. I might have to steal it LOL
I have no doubt in my mind that the Catholic Church is the ONE Church that Jesus Christ founded.
But I have similar feelings sometimes because I live in a community of a certain christian denomination that blows the Catholic Church out of the water when it comes to fellowship and community. If I ever truely needed anything, this denomination would come to my aid whereas I am not sure what help I would get at my TLM community.
Just being completely honest. I don't know why there is such a difference...
(05-04-2016, 08:25 AM)Ayla Wrote: I can't believe i am writing this but...
Since this easter i have been somewhat regretting my conversion to catholicism...

I converted to christianity in a protestant church 3 years ago. After being a protestant for 1,5 year i discovered, through friends, the catholic faith.
I was mesmerized by this ancient and beautiful faith. The beautiful history, all the saints, the church fathers, the sacraments, everything!
Around 1,5 year ago i decided i wanted to be catholic, and 9 months later i was received into the Church and had my first communion. I was confirmed just 2,5 months ago. I was overjoyed!
My priest adviced me to not read any protestant books anymore, not go to protestant bible study anymore and definitely not go to protestant services anymore.
I agreed because i felt i finally found the true faith, and it would not be good if i would still go to these places where obvious heresy and errors were being taught.
I felt i grew stronger in faith and that i was finally in the true church. I pitied the poor protestants.

But now, i feel totally different. I still believe the catholic teachings, but since a while i felt like my personal faith and relationship with the Lord
were slowly dying. I felt like a dry desert and praying, reading the bible, etc, had all become a burden rather than something i love to do.
Also when i look around me in church i don't see personal conversion. Obviously my faith is not dependent on other people, but having no fellowship
is hard to deal with. I also feel i am not being fed spiritually. The sermons in my church are really short and only informative, not about personal conversion or live with God.
There is barely any attention for biblical education nor is there any bible study.

I tried to compensate this by listening to sermons on audio sancto and reading books of saints, but oftentimes i miss the simplicity with which the gospel was
taught in the protestant churches i went to. It is interesting to read about those amazing saints, but i feel like that is a level i will never be able to attain.
I just simply want to read about growing in holliness myself, and besides that especially about the gospel and what it truly means.
Often the books are about the amazing miracles or visions etc of the saints, or about certain teachings, or works one has to do,
but not so much about what you can also experience as a christian living a christian life.

I feel like i am rambling and can't really get my point across, but i am trying to say that i felt like i was drowning and was drifting further away from God.
A couple weeks ago the father of one of my best friends died. She invited me for the funeral service. This was in a protestant church. I felt like i had to go, because
she is one of my best friends and of all my protestant friends she was the only one that came to my confirmation. In that service something inside me changed.
The sermon was so good it made me cry, and the witness of the family, rejoicing in and praising God even in these terrible times, really impressed me so much.
Even in these circumstances they pointed to Christ and praised Him, the service was only about Him and they preached the gospel to everyone there.
During the sermon i felt such joy and i was so happy, even though i was at a funeral! I can not expres the happiness i felt. Since that day i feel i can pray again,
and i desire and love reading the bible again. I am now so confused and don’t know what to do. I do believe that the RCC is the true Church, but if that is so,
why am i not seeing the fruits of it? Not in others and not in myself? I don’t think it would be good to go back to protestantism after everything i was taught and know,
but at the same time i miss so much about it. The Christcentered preaching, the fellowship, the bible studies, etc. I hope you guys have tips or good advice on what i can do.

It sounds to me like you are missing a real devotion to the Blessed Sacrament. If you can take an hour everyday to pray before the Eucharist in the tabernacle. Pour our all the concerns of your heart to God in that hour. Don't worry about making it a time of formal prayer reciting but a time in which you bear your soul to Jesus and ask him to help you in everything. He will not fail you.

(05-04-2016, 09:07 AM)deprofundis Wrote: You need to check out and download Br. Francis' audio especially his commentary on the gospels and Acts. Saint Benedict Center teaches the Faith with the simplicity you are seeking. You should also check out Br. Andre's Reconquest audio program which is free.

Thank you, i will! :)
(05-04-2016, 09:10 AM)AugustineNYC Wrote: I am a baptized Catholic that only finished receiving the sacraments 40+ years later and I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.  While the first thing anyone should tell you is speak to the priest there are other things to consider.

You are reading about the saints, then you know that their lives were no picnic. Frequently they were alone in their faith except for God. Take strength from that, see the similarities in your shared stories. Sometimes we hold the saints at arms length and we can't see our similarities. They probably didn't think they would be saints either. None of them became saints by lying down.

Your Protestant friends. I agree with you. Many of the vocal, published (popular) Catholic apologists seem to be former Protestants and I do not think that's an accident.  As a former Protestant you can use that insight and experience and bring it under a Catholic light.  If you feel like you're not being fed spiritually speak to the priest. If all else fails try a different parish.

Fellowship. This is tough because you might have to search it out for yourself. I am going through this and feel as though I am just coming out of the tunnel.  If you want fellowship you are going to have to join a prayer group or ministry. If your Parish has retreats go on the retreats, meet your fellow parishioners. It was hard for me because I could be shy but it's amazing what the Holy Spirit will do for you at the slightest asking from your part. I prayed in earnest for good Catholic friends that would not be a hindrance to my faith but would help me grow and I could do likewise for them and I got them!

You're not rambling. These are tough things although people tend to minimize them because it's not something like an illness or destitution, but more people probably lose their faith through trials of this nature.

You know the RCC has the Truth. Lean on the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Tell them what you need. I'm going to pray for you.
Peace be with you!

Thank you for all the tips. The problem is, the parish i am going now is (probably) as good as it is gonna get.
In my country catholicism is slowly dying out and there are 2 places for the latin mass. I have been to both parishes. I am scared to go to a novus ordo parish,
because i have been warned it is worse there, and that i should never ever go to a novus ordo mass.

Regarding fellowship: The catholic churches here that are not novus ordo do have young people, but they come from all over the country.
Therefore it is quite difficult to see each other on a regular basis during the week. I also see that they are not really very busy with the faith,
at least not as i am, reading and studying the bible, church history, the fathers etc. I just really miss people that have this passion and zeal for God.
(05-04-2016, 09:19 AM)BC Wrote: Hey Ayla,

I very much sympathize with you.  Make no doubt about it, this time period is probably one of the most trying times to be a true Christian, that is Catholic, in all of history. The Cross today is loneliness.

Although some would dispute this, I personally believe this crisis is the Great Apostasy predicted in scripture, or its dress rehearsal.  The Catholic Church and Faith have been hollowed out by enemies within.  Sanctity is found hardly anywhere other than bygone memories, in books, and masses here and there scattered about by a few steadfast priests.  Most of what is seen in parish Churches is a sappy counterfeit of authentic Catholic life.

To interact with Protestants, warm, kind people who appear to be all about the Bible and "Christ-centered" obfuscates the reality that all of their pleading and conviction is in vain.  It is very tempting for those suffering loneliness to be with them in their fellowship and cheer, as the Catholic Church undergoes Her Mystical Passion and everyone deserts Her, or gets led into sacrilege or heresy wittingly or unwittingly by Judases.

Although sounding harsh, meditate on what some of these holy Catholic Saints had to say about any pretense to loving Christ while holding to heresy outside the true Church.


I cut a part of your reply so it would not be such a big quote. :)

Thank you for understand me. The thing is that i don't go to a novus ordo parish. I am going to a TLM parish, and i just miss education and a deeply lived faith.
By the way, i understand the Catholic church is the true Church, but i think that scaring people with 'not being inside the true Church means eternal damnation' is not the way to keep them,
they should have a personal and deeply lived faith. They should not be scared to leave, they should not want to leave because it is an amazing faith. And it is! :)
(05-04-2016, 11:27 AM)Vox Clamantis Wrote: The things you're writing about are things ALL Catholics -- ex-Protestant or not -- should be concerned about. They are very serious problems.


In the end, I don't think there's anything to be "confused" about; there are just things to lament and be sad about -- and things you could act on to CHANGE. You know what is true already, right?

(05-04-2016, 05:20 PM)Share Love Wrote: Dryness is often a sign that the Lord is working in one's life. They must simply continue to muscle through it. It isn't easy, but it has to be handled one day at a time.

Herein lies a major issue with Protestantism: their interpretation of a "deep personal relationship with Jesus." When you examine a Protestant service, many of them have very enthusiastic preaching, people weeping, hands in the air, musical instruments being played by the people in the pew, lots of "amen"s and "hallelujah"s, etc.. But if you examine the nature of that same service, you'll notice that it is largely a performance to work up the audience, and not a God-centered worship. This is common in megachurches, where it is largely self-help lessons or concerts with the occasional Bible verse. Some are eerily similar to mass hypnosis, which explains why some preachers can hold out their hands and make people fall down. Sensationalism or exaggerated emotionalism is not the same thing as a close relationship. When's the last time you flailed your arms around a loved one and jumped up and down around them, clapping? You likely don't. You hold their hand. You have peaceful and deep conversations with them. You don't have to work yourself up into a frenzy for that.

Another huge problem is this concept that pervades the whole thing: "once you accept Jesus, everything will be fine and you will not have any major problems at all." Obviously it isn't phrased like that, but all you have to do is watch a Protestant TV show about a person accepting Jesus (without also accepting His Church) and you'll see what I mean. The stories are all very similar: "Amanda had a really bad life, and then a friend invited her to a Bible study. She 'accepted Jesus as her personal Lord and Saviour,' and then everything was wonderful again. Her alcoholic husband stopped drinking and everything has been great ever since."  Going back to the megachurch issues again, this is common there, too. "If you just have enough faith, you don't even have to be sick! You don't have to be broke. Oh, you mean you ARE sick and broke? Maybe you have some hidden sin in your life. Your faith is weak." Etc.

We have Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. You can't get any closer with Him this side of heaven. He gave us His Blessed Mother. Ask her to help you get closer to her Son. You need to muscle through the arid days and you'll come out with a much stronger, deeper faith.

There are many kinds of protestants, and the churches where i used to go to are nóthing like that. They were churches with long sermons and singing psalms, traditional churches (in the protestant sense).
The whole point for me is, not the atmosphere in the church (TLM wins hands down!) but the sermons and study and fellowship around it. I am simply not being fed. The sermons are short and not very instructive, there is no study of anything and people are not interested in it. I travel 2,5 hours just to get to mass and hear a short reflection and not have fellowship or anything, no study, no catechises, and i feel i just can't do it anymore, i feel drained.

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