Fear Asking girls out/talking to them and dating
Another huge point in your favor, from a female perspective, is if you're a family man. One of the most attractive things about my boyfriend is seeing how sweetly he parents his daughter. Also, when it comes to being "treated like a queen," I think the definition of that phrase is important when it comes to whether or not that's a good thing. If the person in question means, "Being handed everything on a platter by my boyfriend while I avoid housework because feminism," there's a problem. I feel like I get a queen's treatment by my boyfriend by having the gift of spending every day with him (and it's been that way since June, 2015...I don't think we've missed a single day). The sound of his voice, waking up to a video he made for me so I can see his face and be entertained by him while I wait to move to New York (so I don't feel so lonely without his physical presence), that deep sense of peace knowing I've found someone who loves me unconditionally and intensely...you can't beat that kind of romantic attraction.

You should find a nice girl who just wants to be with you, not for what you can give her, but for who you are and how important you are to her. 
(04-04-2017, 03:58 PM)Zubr Wrote:
(04-03-2017, 01:07 PM)BC Wrote: Don't ever listen to what a woman says but what she does and reacts to.  Everyone's mother and every girl says all they want is to be treated like a queen and given flowers etc. but in the real world that's a lie.  They'll reject you in a bad way if you do that sort of thing. 
Can't argue with anything at all but speaking for us flower-loving women of the world, there are always exception to the rule though. My alpha top tiered thug "oh he's probably a bouncer at a strip club or a drug dealer or escaped from prison" husband buys me flowers twice a week and a substantial gift each week. The fact that he has "chosen to" treat me "like a queen" (cue Королева Вдохновения...) when other women want him is a big deal to me. If he had treated me like a jerk (and I mean real thug, none of this pick up artist "jerk" stuff) he would have been physically appealing but I'd have no desire whatsoever. This could be related to "what she reacts to", I guess.

Haha. Well that's the thing. He already established attraction from you before he bought you flowers. But see like I mentioned, his attractiveness to you is comparative. He is high status to you because other women like him. It is a matter of pre-selection so at that point it is "safe" for him to be sweet without risking rejection.

Which also explains why physically ugly but high status male rock stars/celebrities can have beautiful women eating out of their hands. Men, on the other hand, don't care how famous or how much status a physically ugly woman has, they will not be attracted to her. Conversely a low status but pretty and sweet lady is always attractive to a man.
(04-04-2017, 09:51 PM)BC Wrote: Haha. Well that's the thing. He already established attraction from you before he bought you flowers. But see like I mentioned, his attractiveness to you is comparative. He is high status to you because other women like him. It is a matter of pre-selection so at that point it is "safe" for him to be sweet without risking rejection.
Can't argue with any of that but I just had to stand up for us TLA's (Thug Lovers Anonymous.) He gets reminded from time to time that he needs to count his blessings in the genetic lottery respect. He's high status to me not so much because other women desire him but rather he's a 100 kgs of business taking-care-of machine! I can rely on him to lead. Sometimes I feel there is a sneer at alpha choosing women from other men. I've been called every name in the book, from whore to a moll by men for this reason. So, this is a touchy subject for me.

My husband was driving me home from my Brazilian jiu jitsu lesson tonight and he said, "You already got sandan in judo, why do you want to go for a white belt in BJJ?" Rather than get into "my reasons", I told him I need to innovate to beat the girls off him. Naturally, he thought it was adorable and he was the prize, so it works both ways. He's the king of his castle as all men should be.

But to the OP, it's like In His Love said, find a girl that likes spending time with you for you.. and the rest is easy.
Quote:I was wondering if any of the men here (women could obviously give their advice as well [Image: smile.gif] ) had any advice as a means of getting over fear of asking women out and also in regards to dating in general. To begin with I should say that I feel that I have made huge progess from where I used to be. 

Don't come up with a script to memorize or use a set pick up line in asking women out. Go on " practice dates " not misleading women, but find a woman you would like to at the very least be friends with, an just ask her out for a cup of coffee or something very simple. Don't announce it as a practice date, don't ask her for any tips on how to improve yourself, just be you, and make your own mental notes on how to improve on things you want to improve on. Keep it simple and honest. Ya have to be comfortable in your own skin first though.  Ya go asking a woman what she likes in a guy, you are going to get too many different responses or cliche responses.   I got a female friend who is stuck on stupid at the moment on a guy she has had a crush on forever and a half; the guy is nothing but trouble, in an out of jail, divorced and moved too far from his children to be a father, and he has more issues than I do, and she is rather foxy, smart, kind, and all that. She just thrives on the drama, and has a super soft spot for him in particular and a lot of sorrow for him too. Thankfully he doesn't mistreat her, but with his anger issues I personally wouldn't be surprised if he indirectly gets her hurt one day.  Ya look at the rich and famous and their train wreck lives, they can't figure anything out either. Plenty of examples to go around for either gender on this road of mayhem.
I've matured enough to see dating as only an avenue to find a spouse. I don't date "just to date." There needs to be an end goal or else you're/I'm wasting my time. It's dating, engagement, marriage, kids, retirement, and death. Together. That's the process in that order - you must acknowledge the process. It's how I roll.
Unfortunately I don't have any "fun facts" about me unless being a practicing Catholic counts.

Trying to get better every day week.
Frankly, work on you . If a woman can't accept you for being yourself, she probably is not the one for you.

I used to try really hard with the women. It's never made a difference. Being yourself, you'll never have to try any gimmicks. Trust me on one thing, working on yourself is the real
[Image: youbettayourlife.png]
. Good luck.

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