(Urgent) Confession help
#11
It's not just a good idea, but it's absolutely crucial to end your scruples, to stop seeking assurance when you aren't sure. I know it's uncomfortable, but you have to just let the uncomfortable feelings come and not indulge them. Feelings do not imply guilt, necessarily. It's normal to feel bad after a known mortal sin, but feeling bad doesn't necessarily mean you did anything wrong (or at least, not mortal).

It's also normal for the enemy to put blasphemous, sexual, crude thoughts that you don't agree with at all into your mind in order to keep you from Holy Communion or to make you uncomfortable during prayer.

Think of your scruples as a wound on your soul. Every time you seek assurance, you think you're healing that wound, but in actuality, you're scratching and picking at it, which is only going to delay healing.

You have to break the scruple cycle of anxiety -> assurance seeking/Confession for things you're unsure of -> brief peace -> anxiety. Shoo away anxious thoughts as they come to you, don't go to Confession for a bunch of "maybe" sins, and don't seek assurance for things you're unsure of. If you committed a mortal sin, you wouldn't be here asking us. :) You would know.

Please take this post to heart. It's so, so important to do these things in order to heal. You can't indulge scruples. You have to ignore them. 
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#12
THIS:
(04-14-2017, 12:28 PM)MagisterMusicae Wrote: n.b. You should consider yourself having committed this sin only when you deliberately and consciously fostered or continued to think about something impure after realizing that it was. Otherwise, you will feed your scruples. Temptation is not sin. Realizing a bad image has come into your head and trying to push it out is virtuous, not sinful.

Temptations occur to everyone to varying degrees. I am often (almost daily) tempted to impure thoughts.  The Devil likes to invade our brains, and some of us are more susceptible than others are.  However, consenting to the thought -- that is, consciously letting it linger, relishing it, nurturing it, etc. -- that is when it becomes sin.  Sin is activated by the will.  A temptation by itself is not a sin but an opportunity to reject the temptation.  Each time we reject a temptation of any kind we are letting God strengthen us against the next temptation.  We are not "more sinful" than the next person if we, without placing ourselves into near occasions, are subject to more temptations than someone else.  If we are deliberately placing ourselves in temptation's way by welcoming temptation (such as choosing to watch a semi-erotic movie when we are aware of the content), that's different. 

THIS ALSO:
Quote: Now, if you actually desired some impure action, "what" matters. If you had a desire to commit a homosexual act, that's different than a heterosexual. If you desired fornication, that's different from an unnatural sin.
So if you have a sinful impure desire, you need to confess what you desired.

Many Catholics do not understand (because they have not been properly taught) that not all sins (against any particular Commandment) are equal in weight.  Take as an example -away from the area of purity -- the Fifth Commandment.  If you physically strike your neighbor, a layman, that is one degree of mortal sin; if you strike an ordained man, such as priest, it's another level of sin, and therefore the object of the violence (without naming the priest) is essential to the confession.  And it's more grievous, although unlikely, if it's the Pope.  Similarly, not all sexual lsin is of equal moral weight, even among mortal sins.  Adultery is worse than fornication, although both are mortal, because a violation of the sacramental bond is involved.  Etc.

Reasons to confess these kinds of particulars include the nature of the guidance given by the priest and the penance chosen by the priest.
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#13
A priest told me many years ago that when sexual temptations come, you have to nip them in the bid. He recommended saying "Jesus mercy, Mary help".

Since your return to the Church will involve a confession after a certain period of time, this thread may be of use: http://www.fisheaters.com/forums/index.p...=3473654.0
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#14
(04-15-2017, 03:59 AM)MichaelNZ Wrote: A priest told me many years ago that when sexual temptations come, you have to nip them in the bid. He recommended saying "Jesus mercy, Mary help".

Since your return to the Church will involve a confession after a certain period of time, this thread may be of use: http://www.fisheaters.com/forums/index.p...=3473654.0

And one of the best ways is to immediately think of something else which is in no way related, but in which you mind can dwell for a while with some interest. It does not have to be religious in theme.

You like Maths? If an impure image pops into you head, try to solve a classic "two trains problem". You like nature? Paint a really detailed picture of a mountain scene. Etc.

The trick isn't to fight directly, but to run away form the temptation.
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#15
Thank you everyone. I'll try, really hard to fight scruples. But does this mean I have to confess incest and homosexual thoughts? Please correct me if I'm wrong, what changes the nature of an impure thought are...Incest, Homosexuality, Pedophilia and bestiality? Are those right? Or only if I really desire it??...Is it an assurance that as long as I've only thought about it for a few seconds then STOPPED..then it isn't mortal? Can dwelling occur in a few seconds? What if the intent was impure to start with but then stopped it?

Thank you! I'm sorry if these sound scrupulous once again, but it's really an honest question.. I really don't know. Not out of scruples. God Bless!
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#16
(04-16-2017, 06:03 AM)Chelsea5 Wrote: Thank you everyone. I'll try, really hard to fight scruples. But does this mean I have to confess incest and homosexual thoughts? Please correct me if I'm wrong, what changes the nature of an impure thought are...Incest, Homosexuality, Pedophilia and bestiality? Are those right? Or only if I really desire it??...Is it an assurance that as long as I've only thought about it for a few seconds then STOPPED..then it isn't mortal? Can dwelling occur in a few seconds? What if the intent was impure to start with but then stopped it?

Thank you! I'm sorry if these sound scrupulous once again, but it's really an honest question.. I really don't know. Not out of scruples. God Bless!
You never have to confess anything wherein you would tell the priest, "I don't know" or "I'm not sure." In fact, to do so would do more harm than good, because you would be feeding your scruples.

Some more advice:

- Bookmark this page and read it when you have the time.

http://www.saintaquinas.com/mortal_sin.html

This page outlines clear and exact mortal sins. It's not a complete list, but it's a very good one to follow. See how easy they would be to spot at first glance, with no mental hair-splitting? Could you imagine telling your priest, "I think I murdered that person, but I don't know," or, "I think I might have committed adultery, but I don't know"? Of course not. Because mortal sins, by their very nature, are both clear and certain. You are not obligated to confess anything you are not absolutely sure you committed.

- If this picture captivates you like it does me, you are allowed to print it out and frame it in your home.

http://www.visionsofjesuschrist.com/weeping498.jpg

This is an artist's rendition of Our Lord as He appeared to the stigmatic and mystic, Rhoda Wise. Rhoda's cause for canonization is being considered by the Church. I emailed the Rhoda Wise House a while back and they said I was welcome to have the picture as long as it was not copied or reproduced. I asked them, to double check, if printing and framing was the same as copying. They said no. Look into those eyes of love and know that you are safe as long as you repent and confess known mortal sins and stay in a state of sanctifying grace. Look at the wounds of the God who died for you. Look at the face of the God of love and mercy, the God who wants you to be with Him in Heaven even more than you do.

More information on Rhoda Wise can be found here:

http://www.mysticsofthechurch.com/2010/0...matic.html

- Read and listen to the resources I posted on the first page of this thread when you have the time.

- Take a few deep breaths. This is Easter Sunday. Our Lord is risen! Alleluia! Rest in His peace the best you can. God bless you. :)
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#17
Thank you, all the replies, all of them were very helpful!! I just pray that the priest won't shout or get upset..a friend once told me a story of a priest shouting over something that isn't even as bad as these :(
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#18
(04-17-2017, 06:09 AM)Chelsea5 Wrote: Thank you, all the replies, all of them were very helpful!! I just pray that the priest won't shout or get upset..a friend once told me a story of a priest shouting over something that isn't even as bad as these :(

Don't worry about what a priest will say. He's only the instrument for Christ to work.

The only good reason for a priest to get a bit upset would be if the penitent refused to listen to his help and advice, or refused to confess their sins. Otherwise, there's no good reason to be upset or angry. His job isn't to scare the penitent into not sinning again, but find out what sins were committed, absolve the sins, and then give good advice and a penance that will help make up for the sins and prevent them in the future.
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#19
Oh come now. Having TEMPTATIONS is our lot because of our fallen nature through original sin. Remember who the tempter is. I get all kinds of temptations frequently. Frankly speaking Satan wants to destroy us. Just like it wanted to destroy Jesus., or at least subjugate Him.  What is needed is a discipline of thought where you reject tempting thoughts and rebuke them. So learn how to do this. Like our Lord's example, quote scripture at the enemy and rebuke it.  When I see some woman dressed immodestly, and get the thought to look at her with lust or curiosity, I answer the thought in my mind with "I will NOT treat this poor woman as an object, she is created in the image and likeness of God and is my sister" then to the enemy, " go take your trash to the Blessed Mother and do as she commands you." It is human and in some way natural to be attracted to the opposite sex, you just need to reject every attempt to pervert God's creatures. Lustful thoughts are essentially selfish, so reject the self will part and ask God for the grace to see everyone as He does. 

The biggest battleground is in the mind. So learn to defend your mind by reading scripture, praying for grace, and leaning on Our Blessed Mother and the Saints. Ask Jesus to teach you and lead you, forming you in His image and likeness more fully so that you might serve Him more faithfully. If your attention is on Christ, then you have less room for yourself and idle thoughts. Remember, scripture says to "hold every thought captive". Don't ever think you can do this on your own power or self will, rather pray for the grace to do this and focus on God.
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