Invalid confession?
#11
(05-01-2017, 11:31 PM)Chelsea5 Wrote: Exactly! That's what I thought so too..before I got replies from certain forums saying the exact or approximate number should be said, due to some law I think from the Vatican? Can't find it..that to make a confession we should state 'by kind and number'
And even if several or many times turned out to be okay....what about my intentions?? I still did not say it even after I read that law....so :(
Think about it this way.

Do you think the Church expects someone who returns to Her after ten, twenty, thirty plus years to say, "I committed fornication exactly twenty-five times" or something similar? By 'several or many times,' you are giving an approximate number. 'Several' means more than two, as does 'many'.

The problem with your scruples is, instead of thanking Our Lord for absolving you of your sins through His priest, you're tormenting yourself with anxious thoughts of not being absolved. If you keep your focus on Him and not your worries and/or sins, He will give you the peace of soul you seek. Only Satan profits from scruples.
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#12
But I don't think I confessed it to the best of my ability :( and I'm not the best person to ask myself that question...it's really confusing. I imagined a feeling after confession of being FREE, praying so much everyday..enjoying reconciliation... But now all I feel is guilt. Just GUILT
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#13
What about the 'confess in kind and number? Many also say that you should say numbers not the words of how many...
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#14
(05-01-2017, 11:40 PM)Chelsea5 Wrote: But I don't think I confessed it to the best of my ability :( and I'm not the best person to ask myself that question...it's really confusing. I imagined a feeling after confession of being FREE, praying so much everyday..enjoying reconciliation... But now all I feel is guilt. Just GUILT
Do you see how the assurance seeking behavior does nothing to fix the problem? You're receiving plenty of answers, but they aren't removing the scruples from your soul. Your scruples only manifest in a different question, another need for assurance.

Please do me a huge, huge favor. Moreover, it would be a huge favor for your soul.

Please listen to both of these when you get a chance.

https://www.catholic.com/audio/cal/4806

https://www.catholic.com/audio/cal/5807

Stick to the information Fr. Keller gives in these programs like glue. Follow everything he says. It will help you, I promise.

One thing he mentions:

"If he's [the priest] given you absolution, it's over. It's done. It's in the past."
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#15
Let's not lose the forest for the trees. Roman Catholics sometimes have a bad habit of taking a rule implemented for our good and agonizing over its strict observance, somehow losing sight of its purpose. God is not a cosmic accountant, ruthlessly checking your confession against his infallible register; he is a loving Father who desires your salvation. He desires it so much that he gave his only-begotten Son to die for you.

So why, then, does the Church counsel that we confess our sins "in kind and number"? It's obviously not because God needs to know, and it's not to bore the priest to tears by the repetitive and pervasive nature of sin. It is, believe it or not, for our own good. This rule helps accomplish to things: keep us honest in our confession and assists the priest in assessing our situation.

We have a tendency to excuse our own bad behavior. So the Church wisely tells us to take an honest account of our bad behavior. Thinking in terms of number and kind helps us not to use some sort of mental reservation out of shame or embarrassment. If I tell the priest simply "I stole," that might be technically accurate, but if what I stole was the money in someone's retirement account, that's quite a bit different from shoplifting. I might say "I looked at pornography." That could be true, but one time in the last year is different from 3 times this week.

If a priest desires, as is appropriate, to offer advice on how to conquer your sins, he needs to know your situation reasonably accurately, but not with mathematical certainty as to every instance of every sin. General indications such as "once," "a few times," or "frequently" are sufficient. If he needs more detail, he will ask. If he does not, then he believes he has sufficient data to absolve you, and you should submit yourself to his judgment on this point.

Remember: GOD LOVES YOU AND ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE DAMNED. If you are praying, going to Confession, and not lying in the booth, you will be absolved of your sins.
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#16
(05-01-2017, 11:40 PM)Chelsea5 Wrote: But I don't think I confessed it to the best of my ability :( and I'm not the best person to ask myself that question...it's really confusing. I imagined a feeling after confession of being FREE, praying so much everyday..enjoying reconciliation... But now all I feel is guilt. Just GUILT

I've felt the same thing before, if I feel like I've left out some small detail or had some small thought come into my mind.

Get yourself a Brown Scapular. Our Lady has promised that whoever dies wearing one will not suffer eternal fire. If you haven't been enrolled, ask your priest to do it (preferably in the traditional rite if possible).

There are miraculous stories about the scapular. One man, wearing a Brown Scapular, was cut in half by a train yet he managed to survive long enough for a priest to hear his confession.
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#17
I second MichaelNZ's suggestion.

You can get one for a very good price here:

http://www.freebrownscapular.com/order_page.html

You just have to cover the cost of shipping.
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#18
(05-01-2017, 10:53 PM)In His Love Wrote: I respectfully disagree with Dominicus.

Since you have scruples, I would highly suggest you go to Confession about once a month or so unless you need to confess definite mortal sins. That month or so gives you time to sort out the unpleasant feelings of scruples and not associate the feelings with actual sins, or at least not mortal ones. You have to let yourself feel those feelings and not immediately blanket them with these kinds of threads and the like. The more often you can avoid making these kinds of threads, asking people around you for assurance, confessing "maybe" sins, etc, the better.

I agree with this. I didn't really get my thoughts through. I meant that in general I think people shouldn't go more than  once a week as going more often can increase scruples but for some people more or less is necessary. My main point being that going just once a year is kind of dangerous for anyone and that you shouldn't think that this is the rule.
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#19
(05-01-2017, 10:06 PM)Chelsea5 Wrote: I destroyed my chance of reconciliation again :(
I wrote down all my sins and said it all but did not say the number of some, I don't know if out of suppression and lying or confusion :( I blurted it out in the plural form instead..even if I knew I had to say the numbers!
I knew I should have examined my conscience to the best of my ability but it had the same feeling as when I'm studying math, blurred and confusing I end up procrastinating, but that's my own choice! I think I intentionally supressed the numbers thinking if I did it by accident it may still be forgiven anyway.....IM SO CONFUSED! I feel like I'm evil and there's no way out..I really did make a sacrilegious confession..and I only get to do it once a year, now I'll have to abstain from communion for a long time. I feel bad and guilty for intentionally not examining properly. Confusion or suppression? Is it possible to hide and not think of a mortal sin from my OWN self??

I don't know why you are only able to go to confession once a year, but if there is any possible way to fix that, you really should.  Once a year is what the Church minimally requires, but I've always heard it recommended that people go at least once a month.
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#20


The Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous: http://www.fisheaters.com/scruples.html

Rules 1 and 10 are for you especially:


1. You shall not repeat a sin in confession when it has been confessed in a previous confession, even when there is a doubt that it was confessed or a doubt that it was confessed in a sufficiently adequate and complete way.

Almost every scrupulous person experiences anxiety and doubt about past sins. Older people have a natural tendency to reflect back on their younger years, and in doing so, often remember something that triggers a doubt. More often than not, such a doubt has to do with impure thoughts, desires, or actions. As a result of the combination of remembering and doubting, it is not unusual that the scrupulous person then experiences great anxiety and is robbed of a sense of peace. This is why this first commandment is so very important: Do not go back over past sins and do not repeat the confession of them! Such an exercise is not at all helpful and must be resisted.


10. You shall put your total trust in Jesus Christ, knowing that he loves you as only God can love, and that he will never allow you to lose your soul.

We often reflected in the pages of SA that the scrupulous person, for one reason or another, has a negative image of God. A negative image of God does not inspire trust but rather fear and dread. In Jesus Christ we are able to glimpse the true image of God: a God who loves and heals and saves. It is in that God, the God revealed to us by Jesus, that we can and should place all of our trust.

It may very well be helpful to review some scripture passages which may help you change your image of God from a negative to a positive image. May I suggest that you spend some time reviewing the prophet Isaiah, chapter 43, verses 1-4. In this passage you will hear the words of the Lord speaking to you and reminding you "that you are precious in my eyes." You might follow up Isaiah with a reading from Paul's letter to the Romans, chapter 8, verses 26-39. In this reading we are assured that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. You might finally end your reflection by reading from the first letter of the Apostle John, chapter 4, verses 7-19. In this reading John reminds us that love consists in knowing, "not that we have loved God but that God has loved us."



Maybe the Divine Mercy devotion could be of help to you, too:  http://www.fisheaters.com/divinemercy.html
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