Husband sedevecantist problem
#1
He I'm having a major problem with my traditional almost sedevecantist husband. We have one baby right now and he wants another one before this one is 1 year old. For many reasons, we simply cannot afford another one right now and are even relying on his parents for money at times. This really kills me as I feel so ashamed. 
        He thinks nfp is evil and even when I suggested complete abstinence he refused saying we should be an example to the world tgat children are a blessing. Now children are a blessing but this is totally unreasonable. He basically wants as many children as possible to stick it to society.
       If we even waited three months we would be in a way better position than now. If I would refuse to have sex with him, he would call me a modernist And lube me up (hope that's not too crude) and have his way with me basically because he doesn't believe in rape in marriage. He probably doesn't take me seriously because I have a very high sex drive  and I do enjoy it physically if not mentally. ( I did not know he was this extreme when I married him although there were probably signs) What would you do? How do i convince him in traditional terms?
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#2
(07-25-2017, 02:19 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: He I'm having a major problem with my traditional almost sedevecantist husband. We have one baby right now and he wants another one before this one is 1 year old. For many reasons, we simply cannot afford another one right now and are even relying on his parents for money at times. This really kills me as I feel so ashamed. 
        He thinks nfp is evil and even when I suggested complete abstinence he refused saying we should be an example to the world tgat children are a blessing. Now children are a blessing but this is totally unreasonable. He basically wants as many children as possible to stick it to society.
       If we even waited three months we would be in a way better position than now. If I would refuse to have sex with him, he would call me a modernist And lube me up (hope that's not too crude) and have his way with me basically because he doesn't believe in rape in marriage. He probably doesn't take me seriously because I have a very high sex drive  and I do enjoy it physically if not mentally. ( I did not know he was this extreme when I married him although there were probably signs) What would you do? How do i convince him in traditional terms?


This seems really concerning. I'd imagine talking to the parish priest would be a good idea? I'd first try to point out to him that very rarely do people ever have children so quickly, and therefore waiting 3 months would be reasonable.  If he doesn't listen, I would definitely talk to a priest. At least first in a confessional. 

Does that sound sensible? Also I'd recommend praying the Rosary with the intention that he would see reason and that God's will be done.
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#3
I'm sorry that you find yourself in this position.  Since we can trust with assurance of faith that the Church is protected by the Holy Ghost from err in official teachings on moral issues (and to indicate otherwise would be heresy), we can reference the Catechism, which (referencing Gaudium et spes) says, "A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood." (CCC 2369)  Whilst one may never take artificial means to prevent conception, it is not sinful and can be a responsible act to limit or delay the conception of children by means of abstinence.

Towards your other reference, Pope St. John Paul II tells us in Love and Responsibility that "A person's rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use."  Since rape by its very definition counteracts this love, it is intrinsically evil and objectively, gravely sinful, even in marriage.

As GoodKingWenceslas said, it would be a very good idea for you two to speak together with your parish priest.
"There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church -- which is, of course, quite a different thing." -Ven. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

"Let me repeat this sentence. It is impossible in human language to exaggerate the importance of being in a chapel or church before the Blessed Sacrament as often and for as long as our duties and state of life allow. That sentence is the talisman of the highest sanctity." -Fr. John Hardon, S.J.
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#4
He definitely wouldn't listen to a priest - he would say they are all corrupt now because of the Vatican 2 council because he is a sedevecantist.
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#5
(07-25-2017, 04:08 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: He definitely wouldn't listen to a priest - he would say they are all corrupt now because of the Vatican 2 council because he is a sedevecantist.

Even a traditional priest?  I assume you attend a parish with the Traditional Latin Mass, if that's his thought.
"There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church -- which is, of course, quite a different thing." -Ven. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

"Let me repeat this sentence. It is impossible in human language to exaggerate the importance of being in a chapel or church before the Blessed Sacrament as often and for as long as our duties and state of life allow. That sentence is the talisman of the highest sanctity." -Fr. John Hardon, S.J.
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#6
(07-25-2017, 03:16 PM)Steven Wrote: I'm sorry that you find yourself in this position.  Since we can trust with assurance of faith that the Church is protected by the Holy Ghost from err in official teachings on moral issues (and to indicate otherwise would be heresy), we can reference the Catechism, which (referencing Gaudium et spes) says, "A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood." (CCC 2369)  Whilst one may never take artificial means to prevent conception, it is not sinful and can be a responsible act to limit or delay the conception of children by means of abstinence.

Towards your other reference, Pope St. John Paul II tells us in Love and Responsibility that "A person's rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use."  Since rape by its very definition counteracts this love, it is intrinsically evil and objectively, gravely sinful, even in marriage.

As GoodKingWenceslas said, it would be a very good idea for you two to speak together with your parish priest.
I think the one thing to think about is that he's a potential Sedevacantist, meaning that he probably would reject CCC and JPII. But obviously those are objective magisterial documents in line with tradition, but this guy is clearly off his rocker.
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#7
(07-25-2017, 04:19 PM)Steven Wrote:
(07-25-2017, 04:08 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: He definitely wouldn't listen to a priest - he would say they are all corrupt now because of the Vatican 2 council because he is a sedevecantist.

Even a traditional priest?  I assume you attend a parish with the Traditional Latin Mass, if that's his thought.

Even a traditional priest - he doesn't trust religious authority if they don't agree with him on that. What do you call the mentality of someone who has a tendency to invalidate someone's opinion if they are not holy enough? The usual saying is 'you don't pray a rosary every day so why should I listen to you etc.' this is why I don't think sedevecantism is valid. The only person he would listen to would be a bona fide  Saint
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#8
(07-25-2017, 04:08 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: He definitely wouldn't listen to a priest - he would say they are all corrupt now because of the Vatican 2 council because he is a sedevecantist.

Not if the priest is SSPX or SSPV or whatever group he identifies with. (no disrespect to SSPX, they are not Sedes, but this guy sounds like he's verging on sedevacantism, not a full on one)
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#9
Trust me I've seen him argue with a sspx priest before and he thinks that Vatican II has tainted sspx to a certain degree as well
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#10
(07-25-2017, 04:50 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: Even a traditional priest - he doesn't trust religious authority if they don't agree with him on that. What do you call the mentality of someone who has a tendency to invalidate someone's opinion if they are not holy enough? The usual saying is 'you don't pray a rosary every day so why should I listen to you etc.' this is why I don't think sedevecantism is valid. The only person he would listen to would be a bona fide  Saint
Sedevacantism is quite invalid.  We must be careful to avoid spiritual pride, which undermines the entire spiritual life.

No disrespect meant at all of course, but what does he then take as his authority for Catholic teaching if he rejects the Church and the clergy, including those maintaining pre-Vatican II orders and sacraments?  If it's merely his own interpretation of pre-Vatican II documents and what he thinks is right, then it's no different than the position Protestants take on rejecting or accepting that with which they disagree in accordance with their own personal interpretations.

(07-25-2017, 04:42 PM)GoodKingWenceslas Wrote: I think the one thing to think about is that he's a potential Sedevacantist, meaning that he probably would reject CCC and JPII. But obviously those are objective magisterial documents in line with tradition, but this guy is clearly off his rocker.
You're likely correct that he will reject them, but theses are the references I knew offhand. :cool:  My main goal really was to encourage Melissa and show that she's correct in her position.
"There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church -- which is, of course, quite a different thing." -Ven. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

"Let me repeat this sentence. It is impossible in human language to exaggerate the importance of being in a chapel or church before the Blessed Sacrament as often and for as long as our duties and state of life allow. That sentence is the talisman of the highest sanctity." -Fr. John Hardon, S.J.
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