Husband sedevecantist problem
#31
To be honest, these things are a little hard to diagnose over the Internet and I feel a little silly now. The guy makes me gourmet dinners every night if I don't feel like cooking, watches whatever I want with me in his free time and basically does anything For me and is wrapped around my finger so to speak. It probably was rape but I don't feel unsafe at all and I probably blew it up by posting online. We're just having an argument right now about unconventional stuff so it looks worse. I would take this post off the forum but I don't know how to delete it so there you go.
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#32
(07-27-2017, 02:15 PM)CelticKnott Wrote:
(07-27-2017, 01:50 PM)Melissa9 Wrote:
(07-26-2017, 10:00 AM)StMichael929 Wrote: To be frank your husband sounds mentally ill.  Do you have parents nearby? Or a sister/friend you trust?  I think you need to reach out to someone who can help you.  You need to tell someone you love/trust what is happening in your marriage.  This situation sounds awful.  Please reach out to family/friends ASAP.

Well, to follow up with all of you good people so that you don't get too worried- I talked to him and he says that he's sorry for making me feel that way. He's even taking the day off from work

because he's worried that I look depressed and is going to watch the baby while I rest. So, no I don't really think he is mentally ill. Maybe I just haven't been serious enough about it and now he realizes. I don't know

That is good to hear! I'll keep you in my prayers. :)
Thank you ?
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#33
(07-25-2017, 06:32 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: What do you suggest I do about it though? It's all very well and nice to inform me that it is rape but that doesn't help me out. I can't get divorced because that is morally wrong and he thinks marriage counseling is ridiculous so where do I go from here. I'm not sure how a confessor would help me? It all seems rather hopeless because I really do not want to risk my soul over this with a doubtful annulment that I'm sure will not be valid but very easy to get

It sounds as if you're at the point where it's time to seriously consider having him charged with rape and removed from the house by force.  He is using traditionalism as an excuse to make you his baby incubator.  He clearly isn't willing to listen to reason, and is unconcerned that he is committing a very serious sin, although presumably it isn't mortal if he truly isn't aware he's doing something wrong.  He needs to spend some time locked up so he can think about how he's been acting.
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#34
OI'm Pretty much what Melkite said. Granted, it's an Internet forum, so I can't see the full dynamics, but this is reminiscent of what my aunt went through; her husband was super sweet & lovey one day, then two days later would hit her. He/y'all need some counseling & help. Regarding lockup, it may help to remind him what happens to rapists in the slammer.
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#35
You could also tell him that, if this should ever happen again, you will leave him, consider civil divorce and inform the secular authorities. All of these measures are approved by the Catholic Church, as long as you do not remarry.

Note: even if you feel sure that you will never apply any of these measures, you can use the mentioning of them as a menace which protects you from your husband's behaviour. Your love towards your husband demands that you try to prevent him doing what he did by any means possible. If not, it might not only (subtly) traumatize your own soul, but also dragging his soul more and more into darkness.
"Cor Jesu Rex Et Centrum Omnium Cordium, miserére nobis "

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#36
(07-28-2017, 12:11 AM)JosefSilouan Wrote: You could also tell him that, if this should ever happen again, you will leave him, consider civil divorce and inform the secular authorities. All of these measures are approved by the Catholic Church, as long as you do not remarry.

Note: even if you feel sure that you will never apply any of these measures, you can use the mentioning of them as a menace which protects you from your husband's behaviour. Your love towards your husband demands that you try to prevent him doing what he did by any means possible. If not, it might not only (subtly) traumatize your own soul, but also dragging his soul more and more into darkness.

This is excellent advice. 
No one has the right to force his/her spouse to have sex with them; that is abuse. Honestly, that is just sick. A real man would never do such a thing. :( 
You all will be in my prayers. Try to find a safe place.
"For what page or what utterance of the divinely inspired books of the Old and the New Testament is not a most exact rule of human life? Or, what book of the holy Catholic Fathers doth not loudly proclaim how we may go straight to our Creator?" -Holy Rule of Saint Benedict


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#37
I don't mean to open a can of worms when I say this. It sounds to me like the demonic is involved. Granted, I'm no expert and only have what you have said to go on. However, it seems to me that he has a spirit of criticism. This kind of evil spirit leads to criticizing others unjustly and noone is above reproach in the person's mind when under the spirit's influence. It may sound like a silly problem on the surface, but it can cause a lot of devastation in someone's life.

One point of clarification: I do not in any way make any speculation about your husband's spiritual life, nor am I 100% sure. This is just based on what I have heard, read, and personally experienced. 

I recommend going to http://www.auxiliumchristianorum.org/  and download the prayers for laity. They will help immensely.
There's no such thing as "same sex marriage." Marriage is between one man and one woman. Period.


We are what you once were.
We believe what you once believed.
We worship as you once worshipped.
If you were right then, we are right now.
If we are wrong now, you were wrong then.

There is nothing more necessary to the survival of the Church than the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass; to hide it from sight is to shake the foundations of the Church. The whole Christian, religious, priestly life rests on the Cross, on the Holy Sacrifice of the Cross renewed on the altar. --- Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre

I beg you to pray for priests, most especially those on the road to Hell. They do not enter there alone, but with thousands of others that have followed them.
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#38
(07-28-2017, 06:01 PM)tradne4163 Wrote: I don't mean to open a can of worms when I say this. It sounds to me like the demonic is involved. Granted, I'm no expert and only have what you have said to go on. However, it seems to me that he has a spirit of criticism. This kind of evil spirit leads to criticizing others unjustly and noone is above reproach in the person's mind when under the spirit's influence. It may sound like a silly problem on the surface, but it can cause a lot of devastation in someone's life.

One point of clarification: I do not in any way make any speculation about your husband's spiritual life, nor am I 100% sure. This is just based on what I have heard, read, and personally experienced. 

I recommend going to http://www.auxiliumchristianorum.org/  and download the prayers for laity. They will help immensely.

That's very helpful of you to mention! Thank you. Do you know anything else about this 'spirit of criticism'? It does seem that he has some sort of spiritual blockage in that regard. The church isn't doing too well these days of course and it seems like the clergy is pretty messed up but that': no reason to turn to sedevecantism and I HAVE noticed that there is a pretty strong 'spirit of criticism' with him. Are there any other cases you know of?

To the people who say that he should be raped in prison, think for a second before writing something so awful. This is the father of my child and you're not making me feel any better about this by throwing 
insults around. Once again, I will reiterate he has apologized and it was not a violent act in the slightest. It seems like Internet forums are super trigger happy about ending marriages.

slightest.
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#39
"Once again, I will reiterate he has apologized and it was not a violent act in the slightest. It seems like Internet forums are super trigger happy about ending marriages."

I don't want to be super negative, but, while it's good that he has apologized, does he have the intention of stopping? Does he still think you should just lay there and take it, regardless of the circumstances? Are you still expected to just let him have his way with you? Is he planning on stopping and taking your feelings into account from now on?

No one here is "trigger happy about ending marriages" because we're Catholics. We don't believe in divorce. That doesn't mean that we aren't tremendously concerned about your situation. While you say it's not a violent act, rape, by its very nature, is a violent act. Sex is about love; rape is about power and control. Instead of treating you as an incubator, like one poster said, he should be more receptive to your feelings and accept the amount of children God gives you as His will for your life instead of being so focused on the childbearing aspect of your relationship.

My two cents and you're free to dismiss it, but I think this is much more dangerous than you realize.
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#40
(07-28-2017, 07:04 PM)Melissa9 Wrote:
(07-28-2017, 06:01 PM)tradne4163 Wrote: I don't mean to open a can of worms when I say this. It sounds to me like the demonic is involved. Granted, I'm no expert and only have what you have said to go on. However, it seems to me that he has a spirit of criticism. This kind of evil spirit leads to criticizing others unjustly and noone is above reproach in the person's mind when under the spirit's influence. It may sound like a silly problem on the surface, but it can cause a lot of devastation in someone's life.

One point of clarification: I do not in any way make any speculation about your husband's spiritual life, nor am I 100% sure. This is just based on what I have heard, read, and personally experienced. 

I recommend going to http://www.auxiliumchristianorum.org/  and download the prayers for laity. They will help immensely.

That's very helpful of you to mention! Thank you. Do you know anything else about this 'spirit of criticism'? It does seem that he has some sort of spiritual blockage in that regard. The church isn't doing too well these days of course and it seems like the clergy is pretty messed up but that': no reason to turn to sedevecantism and I HAVE noticed that there is a pretty strong 'spirit of criticism' with him. Are there any other cases you know of?

To the people who say that he should be raped in prison, think for a second before writing something so awful. This is the father of my child and you're not making me feel any better about this by throwing 
insults around. Once again, I will reiterate he has apologized and it was not a violent act in the slightest. It seems like Internet forums are super trigger happy about ending marriages.

slightest.

My knowledge of it is quite limited. Anything I do know comes from conferences given by Father Chad Ripperger, whom is an experienced exorcist. There is quite a lot of his audio on YouTube, much of it on the Sensus Fidelium channel. A quick search there will open up a treasure trove. 

My two main recommendations are to reach out to a trusted priest, and also possibly contact one of the Doloran Fathers for some advice. That way, you can include info that would be inappropriate to post here, but still relevant to finding out how to handle the situation.

Here's the website for the Doloran Fathers, whom Father Ripperger is currently part of. http://www.dolorans.org/
There's no such thing as "same sex marriage." Marriage is between one man and one woman. Period.


We are what you once were.
We believe what you once believed.
We worship as you once worshipped.
If you were right then, we are right now.
If we are wrong now, you were wrong then.

There is nothing more necessary to the survival of the Church than the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass; to hide it from sight is to shake the foundations of the Church. The whole Christian, religious, priestly life rests on the Cross, on the Holy Sacrifice of the Cross renewed on the altar. --- Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre

I beg you to pray for priests, most especially those on the road to Hell. They do not enter there alone, but with thousands of others that have followed them.
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