Husband sedevecantist problem
#41
(07-28-2017, 07:04 PM)Melissa9 Wrote:
(07-28-2017, 06:01 PM)tradne4163 Wrote: I don't mean to open a can of worms when I say this. It sounds to me like the demonic is involved. Granted, I'm no expert and only have what you have said to go on. However, it seems to me that he has a spirit of criticism. This kind of evil spirit leads to criticizing others unjustly and noone is above reproach in the person's mind when under the spirit's influence. It may sound like a silly problem on the surface, but it can cause a lot of devastation in someone's life.

One point of clarification: I do not in any way make any speculation about your husband's spiritual life, nor am I 100% sure. This is just based on what I have heard, read, and personally experienced. 

I recommend going to http://www.auxiliumchristianorum.org/  and download the prayers for laity. They will help immensely.

That's very helpful of you to mention! Thank you. Do you know anything else about this 'spirit of criticism'? It does seem that he has some sort of spiritual blockage in that regard. The church isn't doing too well these days of course and it seems like the clergy is pretty messed up but that': no reason to turn to sedevecantism and I HAVE noticed that there is a pretty strong 'spirit of criticism' with him. Are there any other cases you know of?

To the people who say that he should be raped in prison, think for a second before writing something so awful. This is the father of my child and you're not making me feel any better about this by throwing 
insults around. Once again, I will reiterate he has apologized and it was not a violent act in the slightest. It seems like Internet forums are super trigger happy about ending marriages.

slightest.

I'm going to apologize here. I don't want him, or anyone, raped. Ever. Nor do I want a marriage to end. I want to see healthy, happy, loving Catholic families. If my comment caused offense, it wasn't my intent. It was meant as a last resort warning in the event he didn't stop, or escalated things in some way. Poorly worded, ok, so I humbly apologize. 

That being said, he has apologized and wasn't violent, but as In His Love asked, does he plan to stop? What will he say when you give him a firm/forceful "no!"? Will he truly accept it, or step things up? The marital act was intended to be a consensual act of love between husband and wife, not a power play where one party is treated as an object. 

Regardless, I stand by my thought that y'all need to seek counseling; a trad priest or Catholic counselor  for example. I'll keep y'all in my intentions.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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#42
We talked about it and if it upsets me, he won't do it. I think there was some miscommunication and inexperience involved in the mistake. We're both young (22 and 28) and each other's firsts and I think that we got into a more 'dominant' kind of style without establishing boundaries. He knows that I like it that way but he went too far without meaning to and I wasn't communicating strongly enough that I wasn't happy with it. The baby thing is still up in the air but he sincerely won't do it again. So we're past the consent issue. I just want him to stop being a sede now.
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#43
First serious relationship as well for both of us. Haven't been married too long either
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#44
It is good that you have forgiven your husband's trespass and that you have reconciled. Reconciliation, if it is authentic, is always the best solution. Your husband is your husband and will always be your husband. Nothing will ever change that.

However, it is important that you not tolerate any violent behaviour toward yourself or toward your child. The recent event might seem harmless to you, but it indicates that there are some very troubling tendencies in your husband which might just be the seeds for even more violent behaviour in the future, be it of a physical or spiritual kind.

I know of various women who tolerated severe abuse by their partners for several years…in some cases because of fear of being left, in some cases because of a wrong conception of the duties of marriage.  They feel that they have no alternative. They apologize and rationalize any evil behaviour by their partner. As Christian, we must forgive any sin and forgive them totally, without any resentment. But we must not "excuse" them. Bad behaviour should not be explained away. And we have a duty to inhibit and avoid violence whenever we can.

It would be very helpful if you prepared an "emergency plan" for any violent incident in the future. It could be moving in with your parents for some while or going to live with a good friend. It could also include uttering the threat of civil divorce toward your husband and the involvement of the police (if things get really nasty). But you should be aware of these options if you don't want to get drawn into the same dynamic of helplessness and desperation that some other women get into. There is always an alternative.
"Cor Jesu Rex Et Centrum Omnium Cordium, miserére nobis "

“To pray is to shed blood.” - Silouan the Athonite
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#45
(07-28-2017, 11:16 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: First serious relationship as well for both of us. Haven't been married too long either

Another good help is for both of you to develop a devotion to your guardian angels. If memory serves me correctly, there may also have been an additional angel assigned on your wedding day to watch over your marriage. Be sure to pray to that one too. I'm confident that developing this habit will yield many graces that will help you.
There's no such thing as "same sex marriage." Marriage is between one man and one woman. Period.


We are what you once were.
We believe what you once believed.
We worship as you once worshipped.
If you were right then, we are right now.
If we are wrong now, you were wrong then.

There is nothing more necessary to the survival of the Church than the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass; to hide it from sight is to shake the foundations of the Church. The whole Christian, religious, priestly life rests on the Cross, on the Holy Sacrifice of the Cross renewed on the altar. --- Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre

I beg you to pray for priests, most especially those on the road to Hell. They do not enter there alone, but with thousands of others that have followed them.
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#46
(07-25-2017, 02:19 PM)Melissa9 Wrote: He I'm having a major problem with my traditional almost sedevecantist husband. We have one baby right now and he wants another one before this one is 1 year old. For many reasons, we simply cannot afford another one right now and are even relying on his parents for money at times. This really kills me as I feel so ashamed. 
        He thinks nfp is evil and even when I suggested complete abstinence he refused saying we should be an example to the world tgat children are a blessing. Now children are a blessing but this is totally unreasonable. He basically wants as many children as possible to stick it to society.
       If we even waited three months we would be in a way better position than now. If I would refuse to have sex with him, he would call me a modernist And lube me up (hope that's not too crude) and have his way with me basically because he doesn't believe in rape in marriage. He probably doesn't take me seriously because I have a very high sex drive  and I do enjoy it physically if not mentally. ( I did not know he was this extreme when I married him although there were probably signs) What would you do? How do i convince him in traditional terms?

Wow, what a difficult situation.  You will be in my prayers.
"To err is human, to forgive is divine."
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