incensing the casket?
#1
Peace.....Several years ago, my mom passed away and I arranged her funeral and funeral Mass.  Before I arrived at the Parish with family and casket,  the guests were already sitting in the pews.  During the funeral Mass, I noticed suddenly the casket was not being incensed and even though I wasn't pleased, felt I should not yell out to the priest and ask, "Aren't you going to incense the casket?"  The funeral Mass ended, and people gathered outside where 2 guests approached me and said, "I have never seen that before - and wanted to ask you about incensing the casket?"  I responded saying, "I don't know why that didn't take place and will be contacting the priest later to inquire."  So, when I contacted him, he said that one of my guests came to him before I arrived with family and the casket and said, "Please don't use incense; I don't like it and am allergic."  (My feeling was that she should have not interfered with my mom's funeral arrangements and that she could have stayed at the back of the parish or stepped outside during the incensing.  (This funeral took place in June)  The priest re-assured me that not incensing the casket didn't change the funeral rite and because it was your guest, I accommodated her.  So, I explained that this was my mother and I was doing the arrangements, and I should have at least been consulted or ask her to step back - which he didn't do.  I checked later with another priest in an area farther away and he said it didn't change the funeral rite.  What are your thoughts on this?  Would you have some difficult feelings about this if it was your mom or anyone for that matter?  (Novus Ordo Mass)  My mom if she was here, would say, "Keep the Peace....." - I have a prob with that too at times, because we can be trampled on - but I did keep the peace knowing God saw it all.  Tks!  angeltime :incense:
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#2
The use of incense at the end of mass for funerals is very common.
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#3
Whilst I agree that the lack of incense doesn't 'matter' to the funeral rite, I have some problems with the Priest. Funeral rites are for the living. Assuming this was a Requiem or a 'Mass of the Resurrection', it is the Mass that benefits the deceased, not the funeral rite. However, that said, I think the Priest's actions reek of arrogance and insensitivity. I agree, AT, that he should have either asked the individual to step outside during the censing or to sit at the back of the Church so she wouldn't be bothered. Barring that, he should have, at least, approached you to give you a chance to speak to the individual, or to explain the problem and ask for your feelings on the matter.
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#4
(02-17-2018, 12:26 PM)jovan66102 Wrote: Whilst I agree that the lack of incense doesn't 'matter' to the funeral rite, I have some problems with the Priest. Funeral rites are for the living. Assuming this was a Requiem or a 'Mass of the Resurrection', it is the Mass that benefits the deceased, not the funeral rite. However, that said, I think the Priest's actions reek of arrogance and insensitivity. I agree, AT, that he should have either asked the individual to step outside during the censing or to sit at the back of the Church so she wouldn't be bothered. Barring that, he should have, at least, approached you to give you a chance to speak to the individual, or to explain the problem and ask for your feelings on the matter.
Peace.....tks for yr comments - one does expect the priest to be doing the right things including etiquette when a family is already upset during the funeral - he needs to be aware there are already sensitive feelings in the room by immediate family members.  The incensing is important to me and I never dreampt I would have to mention or ensure it happens.  As for the guest, she is no stranger to attending funerals and does strive to get her way in many other situations I'm aware of.  I have let it go now, however once in a while in crops us in my mind and I simply offer a prayer to God, saying it was out of my control and I wasnt consulted.  Perhaps the holy angels filled in the blanks - This is what I thought the priest could have said, "Due to you requesting this minutes before the funeral and casket/family are arriving and not giving me the opportunity to speak with the family, I think when the incensing begins, just move to the back or go into the vestibule."  It makes me wonder what other things fly over our heads that we may or may not be catching.  We should be able to rely on and trust - not have to scrutinize and worry....tks again!  :incense:
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#5
I agree with you. I too would be angry that he changed part of funeral without consulting me. 

However, what's done is done. He can't exactly do it now and it's ultimately a rather small detail. What's important is that you continue to pray for your mother.

May she rest in peace.
Surréxit Dóminus vere, Alleluia!
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