Pray For Me to Find a Good Catholic Girl
#1
I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!
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#2
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

I will pray for you, Smiley!

Here are a few things for you to consider:

1.  The more "needy" or insecure about who you are, the more you will drive away the girls.  

2.  There is a time and a place for everything under Heaven!  Enjoy your single life and freedom as much as you can because when you get married and the kids come you are restricted in what you can do with your life and have very little time or expendable income and a lot of stress.  Enjoy your own company and friendships with both sexes.  Travel as much as you can and learn as much as you can, experience as much as you can (without sin of course). Be grateful for this season in your life. :)

3.   Develop yourself into the best you you can be. Spend time doing charity work.  Make a bucket list and start marking some of those things off.  Go on a mission trip.  Investing in yourself will allow you to have more to give to your wife and kids one day.

4.  Relax.  Having a goal is fine but putting a time limit on it can cause you extra pressure.  The fact is, the right one usually comes along when you aren't really looking.  It's when you are content with yourself and your life that you project your best self.  Place your life in God's hands and trustfully surrender to His providence.

5.  Don't worry about learning how to flirt so much as how to become friends with girls.  You will want to marry your best friend.  Flirting is often a form of flattery and you want to be your authentic self and have an honest relationship.

I hope that helps a little.  God bless you, Smiley!
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#3
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

Don’t worry about timing. Work on yourself, on growing in holiness. Holiness is attractive.  Neediness is unattractive. A needy person who finds someone usually only finds someone who is manipulative and has motives other than the good of the other person. In your prayer, seek God’s will and also ask that He inspire your would-be spouse to seek His will also.
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#4
(02-19-2018, 12:21 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

Don’t worry about timing. Work on yourself, on growing in holiness. Holiness is attractive.  Neediness is unattractive. A needy person who finds someone usually only finds someone who is manipulative and has motives other than the good of the other person. In your prayer, seek God’s will and also ask that He inspire your would-be spouse to seek His will also.

That's the thing though. The main reason I feel called to marriage is that I need someone who's very pious to help keep me motivated to grow in faith myself. Otherwise, I have quite a difficult time doing so or even motivating myself to pray/read the Bible.

Late last year I met a nice trad Catholic girl and we became pretty good friends. I was interested in her, but she's just not interested in me like that which I'm fine with. However, before I knew her feelings I was able to motivate myself to grow in faith with the hopes of asking her out. I guess until I meet another good Catholic girl I'll have difficulty getting my prayers and other faith related things accomplished. I dunno. :scratchinghead:
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#5
(02-19-2018, 02:28 PM)Smiley Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 12:21 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

Don’t worry about timing. Work on yourself, on growing in holiness. Holiness is attractive.  Neediness is unattractive. A needy person who finds someone usually only finds someone who is manipulative and has motives other than the good of the other person. In your prayer, seek God’s will and also ask that He inspire your would-be spouse to seek His will also.

That's the thing though. The main reason I feel called to marriage is that I need someone who's very pious to help keep me motivated to grow in faith myself. Otherwise, I have quite a difficult time doing so or even motivating myself to pray/read the Bible.

Late last year I met a nice trad Catholic girl and we became pretty good friends. I was interested in her, but she's just not interested in me like that which I'm fine with. However, before I knew her feelings I was able to motivate myself to grow in faith with the hopes of asking her out. I guess until I meet another good Catholic girl I'll have difficulty getting my prayers and other faith related things accomplished. I dunno. :scratchinghead:

I understand.  It's really difficult to persevere and remain motivated in the faith and it does help to have some positive peer pressure.

But you might want to consider if God is calling you to mature in your own faith as a man on your own accord before you are ready for marriage.  It's hard, but it's really not fair to expect to rely on someone else for that.  Plus, they will need to rely on you sometimes too.

You won't be ready to be the father and spiritual leader of a family until you do.
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#6
(02-19-2018, 02:28 PM)Smiley Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 12:21 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

Don’t worry about timing. Work on yourself, on growing in holiness. Holiness is attractive.  Neediness is unattractive. A needy person who finds someone usually only finds someone who is manipulative and has motives other than the good of the other person. In your prayer, seek God’s will and also ask that He inspire your would-be spouse to seek His will also.

That's the thing though. The main reason I feel called to marriage is that I need someone who's very pious to help keep me motivated to grow in faith myself. Otherwise, I have quite a difficult time doing so or even motivating myself to pray/read the Bible.

Late last year I met a nice trad Catholic girl and we became pretty good friends. I was interested in her, but she's just not interested in me like that which I'm fine with. However, before I knew her feelings I was able to motivate myself to grow in faith with the hopes of asking her out. I guess until I meet another good Catholic girl I'll have difficulty getting my prayers and other faith related things accomplished. I dunno. :scratchinghead:

OK, but what would happen should their faith start to falter?  Practicing the Faith is tough.  There is a reason the bible talks about sowing in tears to reap in joy.  You can't seek a spouse as one would seek a crutch.  No, you've got to be strong yourself, AND they must be strong, so that the two of you can strengthen each other.  In the meantime, find some other men to get to know.  Men need male friends.  Nowadays, a lot of them don't think they do, or they confuse authentic friendship with drinking buddies, but you have to grow as a man yourself and you need other men to help you do it.  Maybe there are organizations in your church where you could be involved.  I also suggest you find a spiritual director, or at least a regular confessor.

"Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17)
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#7
(02-19-2018, 04:04 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:28 PM)Smiley Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 12:21 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

Don’t worry about timing. Work on yourself, on growing in holiness. Holiness is attractive.  Neediness is unattractive. A needy person who finds someone usually only finds someone who is manipulative and has motives other than the good of the other person. In your prayer, seek God’s will and also ask that He inspire your would-be spouse to seek His will also.

That's the thing though. The main reason I feel called to marriage is that I need someone who's very pious to help keep me motivated to grow in faith myself. Otherwise, I have quite a difficult time doing so or even motivating myself to pray/read the Bible.

Late last year I met a nice trad Catholic girl and we became pretty good friends. I was interested in her, but she's just not interested in me like that which I'm fine with. However, before I knew her feelings I was able to motivate myself to grow in faith with the hopes of asking her out. I guess until I meet another good Catholic girl I'll have difficulty getting my prayers and other faith related things accomplished. I dunno. :scratchinghead:

OK, but what would happen should their faith start to falter?  Practicing the Faith is tough.  There is a reason the bible talks about sowing in tears to reap in joy.  You can't seek a spouse as one would seek a crutch.  No, you've got to be strong yourself, AND they must be strong, so that the two of you can strengthen each other.  In the meantime, find some other men to get to know.  Men need male friends.  Nowadays, a lot of them don't think they do, or they confuse authentic friendship with drinking buddies, but you have to grow as a man yourself and you need other men to help you do it.  Maybe there are organizations in your church where you could be involved.  I also suggest you find a spiritual director, or at least a regular confessor.

"Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17)
As a very extroverted person, I've got many friends male and female as I love talking to and meeting new people, but only two are devout Catholics that are around my age. I'd say about 90% of my young friends aren't religious at all, and another 9% are religious, but not Catholic. It's hard to find young adult Catholics it seems as there really isn't anywhere to meet them. We got clubs for old people and clubs for kids in high-school and younger, but outside of there there's really nothing for us people in our 20s to meet other Catholics. My community college has a Newman Club which is where I met most of my religious friends, including the two Catholic friends of mine. We're a very small club though, which is why we have more Protestants than Catholics.

That's actually one of my favorite Bible quotes btw. I find it very true, as I learn many things from my friends and acquaintances. :)
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#8
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

You very well may be intended for marriage, Smiley, but here are some things to consider: 

"And God blessed them, saying: Increase and multiply, and . . . " (Genesis 1:28)

DRV footnote to the above: "This is not a precept, as some Protestant controvertists would have it, but a blessing . . ."

". . . and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven . . ." (Matthew 19:12)

DRV footnote to the above: "This text is not to be taken in the literal sense; but means, that there are such, who have taken a firm and commendable resolution of leading a single and chaste life, in order to serve God in a more perfect state than those who marry . . ."

And from Tradition itself: "Some forgo marriage in order to care for their parents or brothers and sisters, to give themselves more completely to a profession, or to serve other honorable ends. They can contribute greatly to the good of the human family." (CCC: 2231)

Notice that none of the above necessarily mean that you are intended for the priesthood (though you could be). There is a "third way" in Catholicism of leading a chaste and single life as a layperson, and using your extra time and treasure to serve others. 

Too often-- especially in Protestant circles but among Catholics as well --there is this belief that marriage is the end all and be all, and to live in such a state is to live in perpetual contentment here on earth, until our passage, hopefully, into heaven upon our death. 

Personally, I believe that it is precisely because of this "happily ever-after" belief in marriage that leads so many to fall into divorce. 

Marriage can be joyful but is also, much of the time, incredibly hard, and there are some-- perhaps more people than we think --for whom marriage is not intended; it is better for them not to marry (see Matthew 19:10), rather than risk a disastrous marriage and all the damage such a situation can cause not just to the two married, but to all those around them. 

Pray, Smiley, for God to lead the way (as I am sure you are), and you will be married if that is God's plan for you. 

In the meantime, be the best Christian you can be (always asking for God's help!), and if you end up remaining single, remember that this does not mean you are a failure. 

May God bless you, Smiley, and always remember that heaven is the goal; here on earth, we are just passing through.
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#9
(02-19-2018, 04:36 PM)Smiley Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 04:04 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:28 PM)Smiley Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 12:21 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote:
(02-19-2018, 02:39 AM)Smiley Wrote: I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure God's calling me to marriage. However, I feel totally hopeless and quite frankly useless because there seems to be literally no devout Catholic girls out there who are my age that are interested in me and I have no idea how to ask Catholic girls out or flirt. In short, I feel like a total waste of space and life. This has got me feeling very bitter and down and it's been hurting my faith and motivation. Honestly my only goal in life was to get married before I turn 25 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I just feel like giving up. Please pray for me! Thanks!

Don’t worry about timing. Work on yourself, on growing in holiness. Holiness is attractive.  Neediness is unattractive. A needy person who finds someone usually only finds someone who is manipulative and has motives other than the good of the other person. In your prayer, seek God’s will and also ask that He inspire your would-be spouse to seek His will also.

That's the thing though. The main reason I feel called to marriage is that I need someone who's very pious to help keep me motivated to grow in faith myself. Otherwise, I have quite a difficult time doing so or even motivating myself to pray/read the Bible.

Late last year I met a nice trad Catholic girl and we became pretty good friends. I was interested in her, but she's just not interested in me like that which I'm fine with. However, before I knew her feelings I was able to motivate myself to grow in faith with the hopes of asking her out. I guess until I meet another good Catholic girl I'll have difficulty getting my prayers and other faith related things accomplished. I dunno. :scratchinghead:

OK, but what would happen should their faith start to falter?  Practicing the Faith is tough.  There is a reason the bible talks about sowing in tears to reap in joy.  You can't seek a spouse as one would seek a crutch.  No, you've got to be strong yourself, AND they must be strong, so that the two of you can strengthen each other.  In the meantime, find some other men to get to know.  Men need male friends.  Nowadays, a lot of them don't think they do, or they confuse authentic friendship with drinking buddies, but you have to grow as a man yourself and you need other men to help you do it.  Maybe there are organizations in your church where you could be involved.  I also suggest you find a spiritual director, or at least a regular confessor.

"Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17)
As a very extroverted person, I've got many friends male and female as I love talking to and meeting new people, but only two are devout Catholics that are around my age. I'd say about 90% of my young friends aren't religious at all, and another 9% are religious, but not Catholic. It's hard to find young adult Catholics it seems as there really isn't anywhere to meet them. We got clubs for old people and clubs for kids in high-school and younger, but outside of there there's really nothing for us people in our 20s to meet other Catholics. My community college has a Newman Club which is where I met most of my religious friends, including the two Catholic friends of mine. We're a very small club though, which is why we have more Protestants than Catholics.

That's actually one of my favorite Bible quotes btw. I find it very true, as I learn many things from my friends and acquaintances. :)

Perhaps you could relocate to a city with a large Latin Mass community and a young adult Catholic apostolate. It might not need to be a permanent thing, but it could open up some possibilities for you. I attended one near me off and on when I was younger, and I know many people from there who ended up marrying each other.
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